Hi all, i have a history of depression anxiety and substance abuse. 3 days ago i got high on stimulants which lead me to do the worse mistake of my life. I slept with a street hooker which was a junkie heroin user and the problem is: i am in a relationship and i love my wife, she's the world to me and i would literally prefer to be dead if id lose her. Considering that this was a risk of STD exposure is one thing, but the fact that i slept with some trashy hooker while having an amazing attractive woman home which I betrayed drives me crazy. I can't understand why and how i ended up being this stupid. I decided to keep this secret and get mental health help and substance abuse as well, i am doing all i can to be a better husband but the guilt and dread of doing something like that driving me to the edge. I will carry this burden to the grave, i cannot confess. I feel dirty, just by thinking about my acts, it makes me feel sick, i am also a huge hypochondriac and even though i remember using protection i still obssess over HIV an other stds.I called off sick from work and isolated myself, i don't eat much lately i just cant stop obsessing over this and it id torture.... I will refrain from any intercourse until i can get tested. I want to heal, i deeply regret what i did, it haunts me to the point that sleep is my only safe place, please help me cope and guide me to become a better person.