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Avatar universal

What to say in defense of accusations from schizophrenic delusions

My boyfriend has alll of the symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia. I want to be supportive of him and help him in any way I can, but it is getting increasingly difficult as his delusions keep getting worse. He is constantly accusing me of cheating on him, and he has delusions about me doing things that I would never actually do. He constantly says he saw me in a car on the street or heard my voice on someone's phone, but these are all delusions. I know that it is the mental illness and not rational thinking that causes him to have these delusions, but it gets to be so overwhelming when he is calling and texting me non stop accusing me of being a prostitute and telling me that he is out on the street looking for proof that I am.
He does admit that he has a mental illness and has agreed to talk to a therapist, but my question is how should I respond to the accusations? I know there is no reasoning with delusions, but what should I say to calm him down when he is having these delusions? I am overwhelmed and at a loss for what is the right thing to say or do,but I don't want to give up because I am his only advocate, He doesn't have friends and his family is very dysfunctional and actually cause him more harm than good. Anyone who has experience with schizophrenia I would really appreciate your help or advice. Thank you.
9 Responses
585414 tn?1288944902
   The best thing to do is not to respond directly to anything he says that could potentially be delusional at the time. However if at some other point he is more stable that would more be the time to discuss these concerns in general. Speaking to a therapist with him could be of help. NAMI friends and family support groups can be of help as regards coping solutions.
675718 tn?1530036633
i have delusions of romance sometimes when i meet a fine woman but i also believe that others can hear what im thinking too :)
5509687 tn?1369721731
I have had my own similar manic episodes where there were trust issues and stressful situations that would leave me staring at a wall, in a stunned state. Your boyfriend needs a really good friend to open up to, an objective bystander who has no hidden agenda. There might other factors influencing that persons behavior, like lack of sleep or appetite, and from your description, feeling alienated or "isolated" socially. Maybe he could try group therapy. It has helped me with similar feelings.
Avatar universal
Thank you for everyone who gave advice.
Well, to update, he is currently seeing a therapist once a week, but now he is telling me that he can't trust the therapist, and that he thinks the therapist is recording him to use his sessions against him somehow. The therapist has not prescribed him any meds, and he is still having delusions. He tells me that he knows the difference between delusions and reality, but that is far from true.
I am learning to be more patient and calmer when he accuses me of off-the- wall crazy things, but I can't deny that it is a huge struggle to keep my cool when he's in his delusional state.
I really love him and want to help him. He is a good person at heart, but the mental illness takes over a lot. I keep telling him calmly that the therapist is there to help him not hurt him, but he thinks otherwise. What should I say or do to help him to stick with therapy?
5509687 tn?1369721731
if he were to join a group of people in therapy he might see other people struggling with the same conditions. there is a lot of camaraderie in most group settings. it takes a lot of the pressure off. good luck.
Avatar universal
Hi, is your boyfriend currently on any meds at all?  It seems like he might benefit from a low dosage.  In addition to his therapist he needs to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist can prescribe meds if he really needs them.  
Avatar universal
I am experiencing the exact same problem and it’s destroying the relationship. I recommend you get support for yourself because it can be traumatizing. Support groups that focus on partner delusions  and relationship issues may also be helpful. You are not alone.
675718 tn?1530036633
I can’t date can’t be happy can’t be sad
Avatar universal
I’m going through the same sort of thing with my ex. I went through it for 2 years and it caused a massive relationship breakdown. Even tho we’re not together we still speak everyday and he goes through speights of these delusions. He constantly accused me of sleeping with people even to the point that he said I was making my own rotas for work and sneaking off in hotels with various other blokes (like I’m some nymphomanic). He still expects me to show him everything now even tho we’re not together and I’m keep pandering to it only for it to be thrown back in my face and told that it’s all lies. I’m getting sick of it all now - he’s put me at so much of a low people in work are noticing because when he causes these arguments and I’m in work I can’t concentrate on anything. I’m always having to justify everything - he’s even said I’ve changed my job and I haven’t I’m still working on the same unit in the same team in the same hospital.  I just don’t know if it’s worth it anymore. I love him so much. But as they say if u love someone you gotta let them go.
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