im concerned about my friend...

[softy_04]

I have a friend who recently thought she miscarried she went in for a check up with her Ob/Gyn and found out that she's still pregnant. She's been constantly spotting and having severe lower back pain and cramping. Well when she went the doctor, she found out the baby is 12 weeks but only has a heart rate of 33 bpm. Um she's been takig some medication that she was supposed to stop as soon as she found out about her pregnancy, but she didnt and the medication is teratogenic. From what I was told the doc told her the baby won't make it, but she has been drinking castor oil , using primrose oil, red rasberry leaf, and other tinctures to try and induce labor bc she doesnt believe in abortions. I'm just concerned she's going to really mess her reproductive system up, Idk what to tell her anymore can anyone please give me some advice?

[missstephyanne]

Well said adgal totally agree

[adgal]

I'm going to be completely honest with you.  A 12 week fetus with a 33bpm heartrate has almost no chance of becoming a viable pregnancy.  I also agree that her attempts to self abort are potentially dangerous, and I would strongly recommend she stick with medical intervention only.

Please reassure her that if she does choose a d&c, it is absolutely not the same as abortion.  I can understand her feelings and her confusion as it would feel to her that the baby is alive.

The best thing for her to do at this point would be to stop trying to self induce.  Have her continue to follow up with her Dr. for ultrasounds.  There is no hurry for her to have any immediate medical intervention unless she begins to bleed heavily.  If that happens please make sure she goes to the ER.  But otherwise, she can allow this to happen naturally.  Once there is no heartbeat, she can then opt (if she chooses) for a d&c.  This way she will know that she did not abort.  She should discuss all her options with her Dr.  I can only make suggestions based on the information provided, but she can ask her Dr. if there is any risk in doing it this way.  I suspect that it would be fine.

What she is doing is not wrong, so please let's not judge this poor lady.  She is someone going through an extremely difficult time, and I have no doubt she is filled with guilt due to the medications she was taking thinking she was no longer pregnant.  Please reassure her that it is highly unlikely she did anything to cause this.  Most miscarriages are due to something going wrong at the very moment of conception, and it's almost predetermined.  And please let her know that there are lots of us here who have been through a miscarriage, and we are here if she needs someone to talk to.

Your a good friend for caring and for trying to help her find information.  

[sandy7861]

i don't no why your friend would do such a thing > she should atleast have hope > and get a second opinion > & also if the babby is not going to make it just let the babby come down by it's self but doing what she is doing is wrong it is still a abortion let's just say she is the doctor doing the abortion on her on babby smh

[trying43]

I hate to say this but drinking those things to "induce labor" is still an abortion your just doing at home.  Your friend needs to stop all that immediately and seek a dr because at home abortions are dangerous with risks of severe bleeding and infections.  With that said if the baby still has a heartbeat there is always hope.   Seek a second opinion.  I had bleeding from 6-15 weeks and carried my baby to term and he was born healthy.  Good luck.