facebook a friend or enemy?

[jessjane]

Facebook sometimes I hate it other times I love it.  I can post pictures of me and my son I can look at other peoples family, vacation etc.  But I can't talk about my losses.  no one wants to hear about two miscarriages that a 28 year old had.  no one cares.  those i have told about it, which it took me months to do so.  stop writing to me for a few weeks then they act like i said nothing a move on.  

It is like no one cares.  my best friends i have told but i'm not sure if their my best friends anymore.  they don't ask me how i'm doing or anything.  they act like i said nothing.  they offer no advice or sympathy.  it's like becaue i wasn't in my second term yet they don't care.  I don't know.  I feel so alone.  everyone else is pregnant or just had a baby.  everyone that doesn't know keeps saying it is odd we only have one- i'm a stay at home mom I guess that means i should have more.  they all act surprised when they look at my pic's and i'm not pregnant but my boy will be three this year.  I'm constantly hearing when his he gonna become a big brother.
I'M TRYING DARN IT--- LEAVE ME ALONE
I'm such a failure.  facebook like i said i don't know if i like it anymore.  all my friends with children my boy age have another or are pregnant- i'm alone.  and i can't talk about what happened ot me because when i do my friends get uncomfortable and do n't know what to say or act like, so they stop messaging me or checking in on me or calling becaue i don't have any news.  and the people i haven't told are always saying your gonna be 30 soon you better get going.  like idon't want another.  

It doesn't seem to matter when people know they are uncomfortable and you wish you never told them because they treat you different- stop inviting youto things etc.  and if you don't tell people they constantly bagger you about having another baby.  there is no way out of this horrible situation i find myself in.  i'm alone.  

i think i hate facebook .

[retta483]

Hi I know what you mean most of my fb friends are family who think i already have enough kids but I found a group on there called ttc after miscarriage  I dont know if your trying again  but they have some really nice ladies on there  you should check it out :)

[usuk]

Very sorry about your losses. Do not go on Facebook when you are sad about miscarriage. Nobody puts their deepest darkest secrets on there. It is mainly either "bragging" about vacations, kid's achievements, new homes, etc. The other posts are just jokes, complaints about minor nuisances like traffic and working late. Either way you will feel your life is less than perfect ---or you will be annoyed with people who think they have problems and don't have a clue what real problems are. You will not find the kind of intimate sympathy and empathy you need on Facebook.

I was about to post a cute picture of my dog on FB the other day and an old friend posted that her dog died. So I did not post it. I felt bad. Not everyone has the sympathy "antenna". Maybe mine is too strong.

I lost more than two babies and every time someone posts their ultrasounds I literally can't breathe. The pictures of babies are okay but ultrasounds all look the same - all look like my babies did. It's like seeing a ghost.

XOXOX

[trying43]

Im sorry you are going through this.  Unfortunately unless you have experienced m/c u don't know what to say or how to deal with it.  That's why most of ur friends probably act like nothing has happened because they are clueless about how you feel and they don't know what to say about it.  Luckily there is a great support system here who understand your thoughts and feelings.  I personally don't have facebook so that I can't help ya with.  Good luck to you and I am sorry for your loss.