Ectopic miscarriage

[Moorewifey]

Hello. I'm not sure if this is where I should be but I dont know where else to turn. I'm 23 married and a mother of two children. My husband and I had started trying for our third but due to me being on depo were told it could take awhile. Two weeks ago I started having horrible abdominal pains. My husband rushed me to the er and a few mins later we were told I was pregnant. Of course we were excited, surprised but excited. They sent me for an ultrasound. Afterwards the ultrasound techs face just looked different. Later I found out why. They came in and told my husband and I that it was an ectopic pregnancy. we were crushed. My husband and I both cried. Im dealing with alot of pain since then. Emotional pain. my question is how do u cope? Everyone keeps telling me be blessed with the children I have or thank god they caught it in time. I am thankful for those things but I still doesnt make losing a baby any easier. I just need some advice on how to deal or cope with this. thank you

[MableMouse]

I know exactly what you mean, and it's normal, trust me. I wished there was just some pill to make me forget, or that I could go back and never get pregnant in the first place, or try and prevent loosing the baby somehow. Obsessing over things that could be wrong with me/ things I could've done. But really there was nothing I could've done. And there's nothing you can do either, no matter how hard you try to forget, you won't. That person is a part of your life now, and they always will be. If you need to talk feel free to message me anytime, I get on here quite a lot.(: you won't regret memorialising the baby, believe me. The book I used is paper so I still write in it when I need too.

[Moorewifey]

Thank you so much for responding back. I think the hardest part has been not being able to talk to someone who knew exactly what I was going through. So thank you so much. I'm so sorry for your loss as well.Your idea about the book is something im gonna try. I think ive been going about this the wrong way. I wanted to forget, just make the pain go away. I think remembering though and going through the necessary parts of grieving is what I should do. Thank u so much for the advice.Thank u for telling me ur story as well.

[MableMouse]

Hey, this is exactly where you should be.(: I am so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to loose a baby. Although I didn't have an ectopic pregnancy I did miscarry, it happened last year in August. I wish I could say to you do this and you'll be better, but it's been eight months since loosing my baby and I still cry sometimes. Doesn't help that the baby I lost was due last month, it was odd the day my angel baby was due was the first time I felt the baby inside me move. But anyways, there were two things that I did that helped me cope, as silly as they may sound I made a memorial book for the baby and a few months later named the baby (I wish I had of done it sooner). Putting a name to the oh so real person that I was mourning really helped. I named my baby Nelly Lawrence, because I didn't know the sex I wanted something that could be used for either a boy or a girl. I hope this helps.x