Aa
Exhausted
It's not really a question, I am sorry if I am posting this in the wrong place. I am so tired of the pain. The morphine pump doesn't hit the bladder and colon pain. I am tired of waiting for tomorrow. I wish I could just bring this to an end. But my Children and Grand Children wouldn't understand, and I know I don't have a right to be so selfish. But I am tired of living with this daily pain, it is stopping me from having any quality of life. Of it weren't for those I would be leaving to suffer because of my actions... I can't even finish that thought.
Tonight I found myself looking up suicide on line. No answers found... I know what depression feels like and this doesn't feel like depression, I just feel desperate.
Tonight I found myself looking up suicide on line. No answers found... I know what depression feels like and this doesn't feel like depression, I just feel desperate.
First, I'm unqualified to answer your question... I feel like I need to be a medical professional or something.
However, I'm qualified in the loving, comfort and caring department and if you post here you have that heaped upon you. Trust me, we care about you, and reach out like this day or night, and SOMEBODY had better reach out for you!!!!
It sounds as though you know how much you have to live for, so I won't even tell you that... just simply gently remind you to stare at your pictures of your family and know you have to keep pulling for them. Do they know how much pain you are in?
I can't really relate to that much pain... but your post made me cry, so I had to reach out. Please, stay here with us, and don't give up on us or yourself.
I'm sure other's will be adding MUCH wiser words of wisdom.Oh, and you can post ANYTHING on here, this is a family forum type of thing, if you MS or MS type symptoms you join, and then you share your life, your ups and downs on here, ok?
I just wanted to say how much I cared.
~Sunnytoday~
However, I'm qualified in the loving, comfort and caring department and if you post here you have that heaped upon you. Trust me, we care about you, and reach out like this day or night, and SOMEBODY had better reach out for you!!!!
It sounds as though you know how much you have to live for, so I won't even tell you that... just simply gently remind you to stare at your pictures of your family and know you have to keep pulling for them. Do they know how much pain you are in?
I can't really relate to that much pain... but your post made me cry, so I had to reach out. Please, stay here with us, and don't give up on us or yourself.
I'm sure other's will be adding MUCH wiser words of wisdom.Oh, and you can post ANYTHING on here, this is a family forum type of thing, if you MS or MS type symptoms you join, and then you share your life, your ups and downs on here, ok?
I just wanted to say how much I cared.
~Sunnytoday~
Now hold it right here! Logged in specially just to talk to you, was going to turn off the computer.
You are not ALLOWED to feel this bad because you are on the wrong medication. This is not your fault and it can be remedied. I know because I have very similar problems regarding pain.
Morphine, no matter how much you take, is not an anti-spasmodic. Your bladder is a muscle, and when it goes into spasm it is excruciating. The same is with colon pain.
You need a good anti-spasmodic, alongside the morphine for the other pain. There are several around. I take valium because it works for me, but there are others. Get straight back to your doctor and tell them you are going into spasm. If you are suicidal from the pain, forget the doctor, get to the hospital NOW.
Here you are, the centre piece of a family, mother and grandmother, a success in this world, and you are being reduced to these terrible thoughts by bladder and colon pain. Now that is not fair. And it can be remedied. You just need to ask the right question to the right person.
I take morphine AND I take an anti-spasmodic, and I had to fight my corner to get doctors to understand that for bladder pain (my colon is okay) morphine does not work with me.
I know how bad it can be. I have been hours at a time paralyzed in the bathroom unable to move for spasm, unable to make the few steps to my bag to get valium (I keep some in the bathroom now). It is the worst pain imaginable, and you want anything to make it stop, death included. But this is a problem that can be solved.
Talk to the Samaritans, talk to counsllors, look up suicide websites. You'll be surprised what you find. Many of them are filled with jokes, good ones, to turn the despair into laughter, to take away that moment of desparation which passes.
Now you've made me cry, because I understand what you are going through and I want you to know there is a way out.
You have to message me back now and let me know you're all right, or I'll keep crying. When you have your medications we can both feel better.
I want to hear back from you today, want to hear that you've spoken to your doctor, visited the hospital, got anti-spasmodics, and got a cuddle from someone who loves you. There are many who do. Your children may not undestand your pain, but they understand their mummy and grandmummy is precious to them, and will do anything to help.
Waiting to hear from you
Wish
You are not ALLOWED to feel this bad because you are on the wrong medication. This is not your fault and it can be remedied. I know because I have very similar problems regarding pain.
Morphine, no matter how much you take, is not an anti-spasmodic. Your bladder is a muscle, and when it goes into spasm it is excruciating. The same is with colon pain.
You need a good anti-spasmodic, alongside the morphine for the other pain. There are several around. I take valium because it works for me, but there are others. Get straight back to your doctor and tell them you are going into spasm. If you are suicidal from the pain, forget the doctor, get to the hospital NOW.
Here you are, the centre piece of a family, mother and grandmother, a success in this world, and you are being reduced to these terrible thoughts by bladder and colon pain. Now that is not fair. And it can be remedied. You just need to ask the right question to the right person.
I take morphine AND I take an anti-spasmodic, and I had to fight my corner to get doctors to understand that for bladder pain (my colon is okay) morphine does not work with me.
I know how bad it can be. I have been hours at a time paralyzed in the bathroom unable to move for spasm, unable to make the few steps to my bag to get valium (I keep some in the bathroom now). It is the worst pain imaginable, and you want anything to make it stop, death included. But this is a problem that can be solved.
Talk to the Samaritans, talk to counsllors, look up suicide websites. You'll be surprised what you find. Many of them are filled with jokes, good ones, to turn the despair into laughter, to take away that moment of desparation which passes.
Now you've made me cry, because I understand what you are going through and I want you to know there is a way out.
You have to message me back now and let me know you're all right, or I'll keep crying. When you have your medications we can both feel better.
I want to hear back from you today, want to hear that you've spoken to your doctor, visited the hospital, got anti-spasmodics, and got a cuddle from someone who loves you. There are many who do. Your children may not undestand your pain, but they understand their mummy and grandmummy is precious to them, and will do anything to help.
Waiting to hear from you
Wish
Wish totally hit it on the head... and said everything I couldn't...
Now... let us know you are OK!!!!!!!!!!!
Do as Wish said, PLEASE..... and go for some pain relief ASAP that will be targeting the right thing...
We are here for you, waiting....
~Sunnytoday~
Now... let us know you are OK!!!!!!!!!!!
Do as Wish said, PLEASE..... and go for some pain relief ASAP that will be targeting the right thing...
We are here for you, waiting....
~Sunnytoday~
Wish came up with the perfect answer along with the others. We are here for you, night or day. I know you want the pain to end, but as you said, how can you leave that memory with your children and grandchildren? Their tears over the loss of you, would be with them for a lifetime. I know in the end, you could never cause them that kind of pain.
Morphine is very limited to take care of the spasms as Wish said. This delimna needs to brought up to the doctor's and some more adjusting and possible some additions need to be made to your pain control.
You don't have to suffer like this. You have to fight. In the sort time I have known you, I couldn't bear the thought that pain drove you to thinking about taking your life. You are so loved and in such a short time here. We all beg you to talk to your doctor about these feelings. Your family needs you and so do we.
Please don't lose HOPE.....You are SO loved....
In Jesus' name I will pray for you and all those that endure needless suffering.
BIGGEST HUGS and much love,
Heather
Morphine is very limited to take care of the spasms as Wish said. This delimna needs to brought up to the doctor's and some more adjusting and possible some additions need to be made to your pain control.
You don't have to suffer like this. You have to fight. In the sort time I have known you, I couldn't bear the thought that pain drove you to thinking about taking your life. You are so loved and in such a short time here. We all beg you to talk to your doctor about these feelings. Your family needs you and so do we.
Please don't lose HOPE.....You are SO loved....
In Jesus' name I will pray for you and all those that endure needless suffering.
BIGGEST HUGS and much love,
Heather
You got excellent advice and words of wisdom from these fellow members so I won't comment more -I do want to tell you though that out of the worst things even we can learn something. I did not know what Wish was writing about morphine and spasms. I always assumed that morphine would make you numb to everything!
If you had not posted your despair and pain, I would not have learned that today.
I am so glad you turned on your computer and came here to share.
Feel better my friend,
Laura
If you had not posted your despair and pain, I would not have learned that today.
I am so glad you turned on your computer and came here to share.
Feel better my friend,
Laura
Hey Mama, you where are you? I know you feel desperate and are in so much pain. I hope our words and prayers reach you no matter where you are. You are a part of us!
FORUM, WRAP YOUR LOVING PROTECTIVE ARMS AROUND SHADOWSISTER, SHE'S BEEN A BLESSING TO US SINCE SHE CAME OUR WAY....
Love, hugs, support and prayers for you,
-Shell
FORUM, WRAP YOUR LOVING PROTECTIVE ARMS AROUND SHADOWSISTER, SHE'S BEEN A BLESSING TO US SINCE SHE CAME OUR WAY....
Love, hugs, support and prayers for you,
-Shell
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Everyone has given you great advice, I'm just here to let you know that I care and I will listen anytime you need me.
Last summer I was in a similar place as you and these beautiful people on here jumped to my rescue. We are all here for you, DJ. I am just so glad you found us.
Tell us what we can do to help, anything you want. You are a part of this family now and don't think you are going to get away with giving up!!! We DO NOT allow this!!!!
Can't you tell how we have all just fallen in love with you? You are a precious lady and we need you here. I am sending my love, comfort & support to you and praying for you to find the right meds to ease your pain.
Love & Hugs
doni
Last summer I was in a similar place as you and these beautiful people on here jumped to my rescue. We are all here for you, DJ. I am just so glad you found us.
Tell us what we can do to help, anything you want. You are a part of this family now and don't think you are going to get away with giving up!!! We DO NOT allow this!!!!
Can't you tell how we have all just fallen in love with you? You are a precious lady and we need you here. I am sending my love, comfort & support to you and praying for you to find the right meds to ease your pain.
Love & Hugs
doni
Please let us know how you are...we are here for you and want to help in any way possible... I hope you are able to get to the Dr or get some help to get to one...that will help with the pain you are feeling
no one should be through this pain. Your never alone honey... just hang in there and ask for some help...OK...
Hugs....Hugs.... HUGS....
andi
no one should be through this pain. Your never alone honey... just hang in there and ask for some help...OK...
Hugs....Hugs.... HUGS....
andi
It's difficult to type through my tears of gratefulness. I love all of you at this site. My Doctors are great, seriously, they do know the amount of pain I am in on a daily bases. We have tried every antispasmodic drug that is on the approve drug list. I was on Valium for several years 1986-1991, but it never really worked for the bladder and colon spasms.
My daughter Cheri, she is the one who helps me the most, knows how really difficult these past two years have been, most of my family knows also. They feel just as helpless as my Doctors all do.Baclofen never worked, it made the internal spasms so much worse. These are the most recent drugs that we have tried over the last two -three years, Enablex, Skelaxin, Singulair, Bextra,and, Sanctura. Now I am taking Zanaflex and Ditropan a long with the meds for my stomach. I also use Benefiber and Miralax every day, these are to force my bowels to work at all.
All of your support today has gotten me through the darkest part today, it's just that these thought have been coming up more often now. I don't dare share these kind of thoughts with my family because they would be so very scared and not trust me.
I haven't shared "These Thoughts" with any one until now. I have told all of my Doctors that I am very tired and they are all searching for some thing we haven't yet tried.
Again I thank all of for being out there for me..I'll stay I touch, because I don't want you to worry about me, but also because all of you mean the world to me.. Each of you have made my world a brighter place... Hugs filled with love to each of you...
My daughter Cheri, she is the one who helps me the most, knows how really difficult these past two years have been, most of my family knows also. They feel just as helpless as my Doctors all do.Baclofen never worked, it made the internal spasms so much worse. These are the most recent drugs that we have tried over the last two -three years, Enablex, Skelaxin, Singulair, Bextra,and, Sanctura. Now I am taking Zanaflex and Ditropan a long with the meds for my stomach. I also use Benefiber and Miralax every day, these are to force my bowels to work at all.
All of your support today has gotten me through the darkest part today, it's just that these thought have been coming up more often now. I don't dare share these kind of thoughts with my family because they would be so very scared and not trust me.
I haven't shared "These Thoughts" with any one until now. I have told all of my Doctors that I am very tired and they are all searching for some thing we haven't yet tried.
Again I thank all of for being out there for me..I'll stay I touch, because I don't want you to worry about me, but also because all of you mean the world to me.. Each of you have made my world a brighter place... Hugs filled with love to each of you...
I'm praying and sending warm thoughts and feelings your way; I too have felt what you are feeling, though I wasn't in as much physical pain. I do understand the desparation. I too am crying, praying very hard that your despair is lifted enough to let you call and get the help you need to change things and improve your quality of life.
I hope you are right now with family, or at the hospital, getting your medications adjusted. Mother, grandmother and is that a cat I see you holding? My cats helped me; I couldn't bear the thought of them going to the Humane Society. You have this family too, which seems to grow every day. I will continue to hope and pray, and send loving, peaceful thoughts your way, so that you find relief and comfort.
Hugs, hope, and prayers,
Kathy
I hope you are right now with family, or at the hospital, getting your medications adjusted. Mother, grandmother and is that a cat I see you holding? My cats helped me; I couldn't bear the thought of them going to the Humane Society. You have this family too, which seems to grow every day. I will continue to hope and pray, and send loving, peaceful thoughts your way, so that you find relief and comfort.
Hugs, hope, and prayers,
Kathy
So here you are with family. I'm glad you were posting at the same time as me, and are feeling the love we are sending.
Love,
Kathy
Love,
Kathy
I'm glad you let us know how you are....someone is usually on here...maybe only an hour or so where it's quiet...but this family is usually here for all of us...
when you feel that way....call someone, come online...do they have a crisis line there that you could phone someone to talk.?? I don't know..it's not easy ... as we all know.
I too am feeling quite low for the past few weeks, but staying in touch with my friends here too... hang in there honey...
stay in touch...OK..
Hugs
andi
when you feel that way....call someone, come online...do they have a crisis line there that you could phone someone to talk.?? I don't know..it's not easy ... as we all know.
I too am feeling quite low for the past few weeks, but staying in touch with my friends here too... hang in there honey...
stay in touch...OK..
Hugs
andi
Ok... i'm so glad that you posted and let us know you were listening.... we are here for us... and if you feel like this again tomorrow, you just tell us and we will come and crack joke, wrap you in our arms, make you laugh, or cry with you, whatever.... you just HAVE to tell us when you feel like that, OK?
You can't do this alone!!!
~Sunnytoday~
You can't do this alone!!!
~Sunnytoday~
I will make and keep that promise... I really don't know how I went so long with out a support group... Now I have "The Best" all of you are now a part of my family..
Have a love filled day... I'll write more later..HOTW
Have a love filled day... I'll write more later..HOTW
I'm really glad you found this place, too. The type of support here is very special.
Here we can share things we can't (or won't, or don't know how to) share with our family, loved ones, and doctors. We can come here 24/7, and help is never far away.
The medical info and advice we can offer each other "patient to patient" is how a lot of us first came here, but we stay for the awesome people!
Here we can share things we can't (or won't, or don't know how to) share with our family, loved ones, and doctors. We can come here 24/7, and help is never far away.
The medical info and advice we can offer each other "patient to patient" is how a lot of us first came here, but we stay for the awesome people!
Sending prayers your way. You have given me encouragement since I have been here on this site & I just wish I could make that pain just disappear. Take care.
Janette
Janette
Sweetie, you being there has helped so much, knowing that others do understand and that I am not alone in this part of my life any longer means so much more than I can express. , Janette hope you have a restful evening and a beautiful, love filled day tomorrow..HOTW...Shadow (DJ)
Thank you sweetie, you are so kind and giving.. I am here for you too...Have a restful evening and a love filled day tomorrow..I'll post more later,,,HOTW...Shadow(DJ)
I just wanted to join the rest in saying Im glad you are here too, and that you have found the support we all need so much. These diseases are too hard to fight alone.
You are such a power of example to me in battling your disease for so long and still finding the time to be a Mom and a Grandma...
You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight...
Love Lauri
Get some rest tonight my friend - youve had an emotional day....xoxo
You are such a power of example to me in battling your disease for so long and still finding the time to be a Mom and a Grandma...
You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight...
Love Lauri
Get some rest tonight my friend - youve had an emotional day....xoxo
I just came across this and know you are getting help. I think you have been given the best advice anyone here can give. I also think you did not wish to leave this earth so soon or you would not have come here.........................hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for the group her for being her just when you needed them.
I pray now you have the right medications and are feeling way better.
MY Prayers continue to be with you and tons of hus and kisses on the wings of angels are sent right to you.
Sarah
I pray now you have the right medications and are feeling way better.
MY Prayers continue to be with you and tons of hus and kisses on the wings of angels are sent right to you.
Sarah
Thank you all so much... Today is a new Day, so it is on with the fight for one more day... That's how I do it...Just one day at a time... Other wise it would just be far too difficult... I am sending love filled hugs to each of you... I'l write more later.. May God bless and keep each of you in His Loving Arms...
All of you PLease have a love filled Day...HOTW...Shadow
All of you PLease have a love filled Day...HOTW...Shadow
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Multiple Sclerosis Community
Top Neurology Answerers
Australia
ON
Queensland, Australia
Queen Creek, AZ
Find out how beta-blocker eye drops show promising results for acute migraine relief.
In this special Missouri Medicine report, doctors examine advances in diagnosis and treatment of this devastating and costly neurodegenerative disease.
Here are 12 simple – and fun! – ways to boost your brainpower.
Discover some of the causes of dizziness and how to treat it.
Discover the common causes of headaches and how to treat headache pain.
Two of the largest studies on Alzheimer’s have yielded new clues about the disease
