In limbo

[medstud12]

I am in limbo also, I have been feeling "different" for the last month.  I am 24 years old, in my first year of medical school and engaged to be married next year.  As you see, there is a lot on, my plate.  My symptoms initally started with numbness in my right arm then on to my entire right side.  This was what prompted my doctors visit.  They did an MRI and found a 5mm periventricular lesion on the left side of my brain, consistent with the numbness.  Since then I have had a TEE to check for  patent foramen ovale.  There was no PFO and all blood tests have been normal.  While and since I have been doing these tests and going back and forward to the doctor, I have experienced tingling and numbness on my right and left side, muscle twitches all over, weakness in both legs and arms, lightheadedness, insomnia and inability to remain sleep as a result of numbness.  I don’t have a neurologist appointment until May 19, and the possibility of MS is killing me.  And unfortunately, the next two weeks are major exam weeks for me and my fiancée is just as young as I am and has never had to deal with serious issues so it can be frustrating trying to get support from him.  Also, I have been having bouts of depression and anxiety with uncontrollable crying.  Any suggestions as to what could be going on with me or ways to help with symptoms?

[medstud12]

I originally posted with the hopes that it would make me feel better or at least give me some ideas about all these symptoms.  In any case, I'm really glad I did because you all have made me feel a lot better.  Thanks soooooooo much for the replies.  You guys just reaffirmed the idea that no matter what's going on you to need and have to continue with your life.  So with that said I'm off to study.  Again thanks so much!!!!! I will continue to post as I get results.  Thanks

[biowham]

Hi, Medstud--

Ess has great advice. Look at it this way. What if someone told you RIGHT NOW that you have MS? What would you do? Would you drop out of med school? Not take the exams? I hope not. I know that as someone clinically/scientifically minded, you probably are a person who likes to have answers, right now. But things just don't work out that way, especially in neurology.

You're in medical school. You're obviously bright and competitive. Harness those two things to focus yourself on the exams. Take this--as you should take everything--one day at a time. Wake up each day and do what you need to do now and worry about later, later. As someone who's about twice your age who's taught a lot of people like you, I urge you to take what Ess and I are saying seriously. Don't sabotage what you've worked for this long over what *might* be. Even if you were to be diagnosed with MS, you'd still continue med school, or you ought to, anyway. Grab your emotions, do some deep breathing or pound some pavement or something to work out that anxious energy, and get yourself ready for those exams. You don't get a do over on those. Whatever is going on with your neurology will be waiting for you to figure it out when you're done.

Bio

[Karen99]

Hi.  There is only one piece of advice that I can give you right now.  It sounds weird and impossible but I know you can do it.  Obviously you are a bright person and are able to apply yourself. Saying that, set aside your worries about MS until after your exams.  Worry about it LATER.  Simply do it.  Use the self disciple skills that you have to set aside your worries (even when you are experiencing numbness) just long enough to finish the task at hand. After you get your finals behind you, take next appropriate steps. Worrying will only make you feel worse and won't serve you in the next couple of weeks.  Feed yourself good food and get plenty of sleep. Cry a bit.  It is a good stress reliever.  Then get on with it.  You are under a tremendous amount of pressure and stress right now.  Just make it a priority NOT to let the physical get in the way of what you need to accomplish, okay?  The symptoms you are have are bothersome and distracting, but you can push beyond them.    

I am NOT making light of your symptoms  They are very real.  You are under a doctors care .  It is good that you have an appointment with the neurologist on the 19th.  That appointment should help you.    

If you find yourself continuing to cry uncontrollably, seek out professional care.    I agree, you have a lot on your plate.  You could be heading for a melt down so nip that in the bud if it's all becoming too overwhelming for you.  With all that you have going on, your thinking can get muddied.  Perhaps there is someone you can talk to, to help you get through this rough time?  Come back here as often as you like.

Please, take good care of yourself, okay?  

[essdipity]

Please don't conclude that I think you don't have any symptoms. It's clear that you do. What I'm urging you to do is to control how you feel about them. It's only for the short term, after all. That will make a big difference in the quality of your life.

ess

[medstud12]

I know exactly about the "medical student syndrome".  All my friends think I have it, so I just stopped even bringing anything up them.  My family thinks its either that or anxiety.  Luckily, my doctor doesn't believe that.  My advice would be just keep seeing doctors until one takes you seriously.  I think it was my one sided numbness that made the doctor take it seriously and do the imaging.  Thanks, for the response.  It really helps to know that there are other people in the same situation.

[HVAC]

I believe what you are going through is real and scary. Naming fear is good it takes away the power. None of us knows how your situation will turn out but in my case it was not as bad as I projected it to be. I am good at freaking myself out. You are not alone. Have hope.
Alex

[scaredguy309]

Hey, am just so surprised to see someone in my situation. Am also a first year med student dealing with initial symptoms and am only 22. I just skipped exams cuz of my symptoms but my advice to you is to persivere in your studies and in getting your diagnosis. Because am a med student, my docs seem to think i might have ''medical student syndrom'' In other words they think am acting out what am reading in the books. But this ain't so. For some reason i don't seem to have the numbness and tingling like most people but i do have weakness all over and especially in the face. I also have twitching all over and eye pains. I also get very depressed about my future as a doc and finding someone who wud accept my condition, that is if its ms. So am doing all i can to convince the docs somethings wrong and am not just imagining it.

[essdipity]

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. That must be awful to endure.

It's impossible to know whether you have MS when so many data are missing. Thus far all we have is a medium sized lesion on your brain. It's not possible to say which if any of your symptoms are caused by this, believe me. Even trained neurologists can only make educated guesses in this regard.

My own guess is that most of what you're experiencing is coming from your own emotions. It's incredibly easy to make things worse by focusing on them. For example, numbness will not cause lack of sleep, but thinking about it constantly will. Muscle twitches all over are not consistent with MS at all.

As someone who has lived a lot of life and learned from it, here is my advice: Study as hard as you can for your finals. Let them become your major focus for the next few weeks. If you have MS now, which is doubtful at best, you will still have it when finals are over, and it won't be appreciably worse. MS doesn't work that way. If you must think of MS, think that 'medical student's disease' is awfully common too.

May 19 is only a couple of weeks off. The time between now and then is yours, to make what you will of it. You can be totally miserable every second and even make a mess of your exams, or you can decide that what will be will be, and meanwhile your life is in the here and now. It's up to you.

Please let us know how things go.

ess