Feeling a little Washed out

[Quixotic1]

Hi, Friends, you may or may not have noticed that I havedn't been around much.  Slipping into a depression of sorts, I think.  Even my raccoons noticed.  One spent the whole evening with just his nose and eyes in the room, chirtling at me every once in a while, like he was just keeping me company.

I'm in my 6th UTI since they began in June.  They always clear up nicely on the Bactrim, but are always back in just about a month.  The incontinence is worsening, and I didn't think that was possible.  The urine is now sippiong out with out any forewarning and it's happening in all positions except lying back.  I went through 5 (five) changes of clothes in the last 24 hours and the washing machine is getting a work-out.  I don't know if the self cath'ing is contributing to the infections, but I'm going to stop it and see if they is a relationship.

Right now, I'm clearing my room in preparation for mopping it - again.  Compared to pain, this is nothing, and I hate to whine about it, but I am soooo tired of this whole process.  Right now I just don't want to think about MS and have been spending more time with a social knitting group.  But, I'm even having accidents there and it is a basic drag.  They are wonderful women with whom I feel totally safe.  They understand the problem and are gently accepting without being solicitous.  Still, it's a problem I can never leave at home.

The depression makes me want to shrink from the things I need to do - like continuing with the advanced part of the incontinence physical therapy.  They might want to try me on an E-Stim program, but what needs "stimulating" is the outlet sphincter.  Apparently it left without a forwarding address.  Maybe a cork and some Super Glue would work.

So, give me a few more days.  I'll be back, you know I always am.  You have great minds and companions here and the info flow is so righteous!  I'm proud to be a part of you all.

Welcome to all the new faces.  And to all of you who have messaged me with questions and comments - one- Thank You and two - I will answer.

Quix  :((

[Lulu54]

Notice?  Silly Quix - of course you've been missed around here.  Feel better, because I know I need  you.

Lulu  :((((

[wiggles94]

Hi Quix,

Good to hear from you and wish you only the best!  You have raccoons who watch out for you?  For real?  That wander around?  That's wild!  I have my dog.

Keep knitting and I hope you can put that damn mop away soon.
Carol

[jensequitur]

Oh, chica - hang in there and take care of yourself.  We miss you, but understand!

And don't play around with that depression.  As you say, it can make you not do things that you need to do.  You've got to take care of yourself, both brain and body.

I wonder if you have a new lesion that's contributing to the depression...

[COBOB]

Hope you get to feeling better.

[meg321]

Hi Quix,

I was just thinking about you and here you are.. I know what you about getting tired of all of this..no matter what it is.

But depression is our biggest enemy, don't go there....i got a prayer in for you.

love you, meg

[gypcwmn]

Sending you good thoughts:-) We missed you!

[jumpinjiminy]

Aw, Quix. You are missed. Sometimes the best thing to do is to crawl inside for a while to cope alone as best they can. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all go away. :-(

[supermum_ms]

Of course your missed!!!

I think your a trooper of the finest order, no one would cope with what your dealing with, for as long as you've been dealing with it and not get a few cracks in their foundations. You know sometimes when the plumbing is off, a total bi pass is in order, is that something they can do for a temporary not perminant situtation, well until they find a way to fix the leak?

Stay strong, enjoy your knitting!!

Take care.....JJ

[sadie405]

You are definitely missed and noticed-- at the same time, give yourself permission not to have to always be "the source," and knit your heart back together with these wonderful women.

Also, keeping up with urine dribbling out of one's person ALL THE TIME is pretty much an attitude killer anywhere, anytime, in any culture. So be easy on yourself.

But at the end of the day know this: your words of courage and spunk and knowledge have propped me up more than once, and you don't even know me. I guarantee you've been a comfort and source of light to far more people than you'll ever know.

Best, Sadie

[Sumanadevii]

I worry when you aren't posting.  I thought you were having a hard go of things.  I am so sorry.  Your habit of distraction (with knitting) is probably better medicine than any drug.  I offer one suggestion.  Do you own a swifter mop?  They are light weight.  You spray the solution on the floor and toss the cloth away...Okay, maybe it isn't good for the environment but....give yourself a break.  They are easy to use for a clean up and do a great job.  I think this MonSter should allow us to be selfish at times.

Sending strength to one that gives so much of herself to others.

Hugs, Sumana

[MisterTimC]

Hey! Like yeah, we miss you. Hope you get some relief.

Maybe you could train the raccoons to mop. They're pretty handy with those front paws and they seem to be pretty smart. I can just picture it now.

Prayers a plenty!
TimC

[Guitar_grrrl]

Quizzles - Of Course I miss you!  I'm sorry you're having a hard time.  DO connect with your friends here and at home.  Maybe get an appt. with your urologist sooner than later?  I worry you end up in the same boat Lulu was this Autumn.

((Big Hugs))
Lisa

[thornygates]

Quix, you help way to many folks to not be missed, silly one, even wall hugging lurkers like me.
Sometimes we just need to take care of ourselves and hope you are doing just that. Hard not to get down with so much going on. i wish for you simple everyday pleasures to bring back smiles to lift your being and hopefully to find that dang control switch.

namaste
tg

[Rena705]

Hey friend...I am so sorry to hear that you are still in a "state"!  I hope it doesn't take too long to get some help!  I do know that "Magic Putty" is really good for leaks and it's supposed to last forever!  Maybe you could try that?  

You are missed around here by me and all the others I am sure!  The place seems a little distant without you here but I understand completely about not wanting to think about what is causing all these problems.  You were right and I am dealing with bladder issues and the side effects of Baclofen.  It's working for the spasms that's for sure but it sure is kickin' me in the butt!  he he

I am thinking of you and again, I hope you get some help with this.  Perhaps if you got something to battle the depression you might feel more like getting to the bottom of the bladder problems and in turn you will feel better both physically and emotionally.  I know I am grasping a straws but if that's all I can do I will if it helps.  Take Care and hope you feel better soon.

Lots of Mopping Hugs,
Rena ;o)

[frowngirl]

Quix, I have missed you a ton...I am always lurking to see if you have been on. You are our number one gal!!!
Please take care of your self and we will all be thinking of you and praying that you turn the corner soon.

Lots of Hugs

Dawn

[ANonnyMouse73]

Quix I haven't been here long enough to get to know you, but you were very helpful and friendly when you answered one of my questions and I really appreciated it. You are obviously well regarded here with good reason. I look forward to reading from you again when you get back.

Bec

[Sparkysarah]

You give so much to this forum and we have all missed you greatly and feel so blessed to have your insight, advice and professional support.

I am so glad that you are able to tell us when things are not going well for you as this forum needs to be about giving and taking and as you will see from all the lovely messages everyone want to be there for you and it is time for you to reach out as you have done to all  your friends who so appreciate you.

Take care and big hugs

Sarah x

[hbananas]

Oh, Wise One, I'm sorry you're having to go through this valley.  It's wonderful you have the knitting circle and feel supported there.  We will soldier on until you feel up to it again.

[Phyllis2010]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this -- you've been so very helpful to me. As one knitter to another, knitting circle is the BEST therapy because you end up with help on complex patterns and you'll have a beautiful sweater or something. (I used to participate in what we called a knitting bee -- I miss it). Miss you too -- feel better -- here's hoping the tides recede...XXOOXX Phyllis

[sllowe]

Doc Q,

It is nice to hear of those special ladies @ the knitting group.

Hope your able to knit yourself up some spirits.  

See you during better days :(

xoxoxo
shell

[essdipity]

Sending good wishes to our Q. I really hope there's a better way to manage your urinary problems. That must be awful.

Hugs,
ess

[RedFlame]

Quix, I believe most of us can tell when you haven't been around for a while.  I have missed you and I know everyone else has too.  

I am truly sorry that you continue to struggle with this issue and that a solution has not been found.  You have dealt with this for too long without a break.  And having a constant infection takes a toll on you.

Thanks for letting us know what is happening.

Sometimes the best medicine is to take a break from this site and spend time with other people.  I hope you get alot of knitting done and have a good time in the midst of this

Hugs,   Red

[coffeeom]

I Hope you are feeling better soon Quix...We do miss you around here..  :(  xoxoxox  Love,peace&Light  ... Linda

[lydia231]

I am so sorry to hear of all you are going through. I hope you can find a solution soon. I have suffered from depression most of my adult life and feel deeply for your pain. It sounds like you have a wonderful group of people around you that care very much about how you are feeling.  I find this is the most important thing when I become depressed, just knowing someone is there that cares.

Blessings and hugs