I'm getting a bit scared...what's next?

[mary_kay]

Hi everyone,
I have 4 more days to wait.  I am a bit scared about getting the results of my brain MRI (and how my neuro interprets all the tests I have had together).  The thing is, I am between a rock and a hard place.  If the MRI is negative for lesions (or whatever), I am back to square one so what's next?  If there are lesions....yikes!  What then?  I don't like either possibility. I just need to know what is wrong with me...
MK

[mary_kay]

Thank you all so much.  It really does help to have the smiles, prayers, and empathy from you all.   Hmmm...maybe "Mamma Mia" IS what I need.  Actually, when I am at school around the kids, I am happily distracted from my problems.  
Love to all of you,
MK

[JemmAus]

Wow. I'm not sure what's worse - I was handed my results of my MRI an hour after it was done then had to wait 3 weeks for the neurologist's appointment to get his opinion on the thing. So I was left in my hot little hands a whole lot of scans, a cd of the same, and a report detailing my "multiple periventricular and subcortical lesions atypical for small vessel disease", which is what they suspected in the first place.

So, I dunno what's worse. Waiting in the dark, or waiting with results and googling for interpretation like some deranged loonie (which my kids assure me I am!)

And at the end of all that, the neurologist was non-commital. He said they were "not quite typical MS lesions" and "not small vessel disease" and sent me on my way. My 25yo son, who came with me to that neuro, was about ready to punch his lights out for his dismissive attitude.

Needless to say, I'm seeing a new neuro on Oct 22.

So I feel for you. Waiting and wondering are a right pain in the bottom. I feel like I too am now playing the waiting game while I wait to see the new neuro. So I can empathise.

In fact, i was so gloomy and miserable about it this morning I went out and bought the "Mamma Mia" soundtrack, and I can tell you what, singing and dancing to "Dancing Queen" as a slightly chubby middle aged nut bag has cheered me up no end!

[JENNIEO]

Think positive - the only thing you really have control of is how you react to what's sent your way.  Personally I tend to react by focusing on the scripture Phil 4:13.  I used to suffer through kickboxing years ago (lost 60 pounds doing it) and would kind of chant it in my head to keep from expiring in front of everyone.  Before I knew it, my strength would return and I NEVER gave up in a class with the help of that scripture pulling me along.  I hope you can find something similar to focus your thoughts on and not spend your days worrying -

Peace-
Jennie
dx'd 8/4/08 - copaxone
...I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me...

[Sunnytoday]

Hang in there.... and be sure your doc. actually reads those MRI's himself. My radiologist said that they were clear and i believed him for months, so it's just better to have the neuro read them as well.

Much hugs, love, thoughts and prayers......as you wait
~Sunnytoday~

[Terrie2008]

Hi MaryKay

I can relate to this I had my Mri last week I have know idea how long I will have to wait for the appointment to see the nuro for my results.

Like you I will be as upset If they cant find any thing wrong as i would if they said I have MS or something else.

At this moment in time its the waiting that is getting me down.

I will look out for your update hope all goes well.

[sllowe]

Hi MaryKay,

Hang in there.  The unknown is very scary, but we are here with you while you wait it out.  It will be what it is when the time comes. Try to preoccupy yourself with something.  I don't know what that is for you or myself even sometimes...lol...but it will help when you find it.  

I'll tell you this much though, no matter what those reports say, and the Dr. interprets.  We are here for you, always! And, you don't have to be afraid alone.
(((giving you peaceful and comforting hugs)))
-Shell

[Shellshack]

I can really relate to how you're feeling.  Just pray about it and try not to worry about tomorrow, let tomorrow worry about itself, and enjoy today.  I know that's easier said than done,because I was there last week, after a negative LP, and wondering 'what next'.  Prayer has been the best thing for me in dealing with all of the uncertanties that being sick can bring.  Have faith and know God already knows, what's next, we just have to have faith and let go and let God...

Praying for you and your tests results!!  Hope what I said eases your mind a little...

Hugs  )
Shelley