Small errand, big overwhelm

[CtResident]

I had to go to the Dollar Store last night, needed to make some Easter baskets for children in the neighborhood.

First off, missed the exit. Duh. Was I "lost"? Kind of, but not really. Just really ditzed out. This would not be the first time I have gotten "lost" while doing a familiar errand. Why does that happen?

Then, I couldn't do it. Walked into the store, and I shut down. Couldn't think straight, overwhelmed by the choices (or lack thereof), put a few items back and walked out.  

Decided to make it easy on myself and go to WalMart, with the ready-made baskets. Only need to do two, mind you. Not exactly BRAIN surgery, lol. (I amuse myself, lol.)

Anyway, longgggg lines, shelves blocked by new shipments, arghhhhh.

I went home.

Ever have a day where the little things just really get to you?

Is this mental overload something to put on a timeline? Or just something that "happens to all of us" and will be dismissed? I am not depressed, don't have anxiety issues. Just not working on all cylinders and it's kind of unsettling.

Suzanne

[doublevision1]

Angel, I'm the same way; I hate crowds and do feel sometimes like I stand out, when I would rather just blend in.  I can usually talk myself out of this notion in my logical mind, I DO know that the world doesn't revolve around me!  And I'm sure most if not all of the time this is sheer paranoia on my part.  But in my gut, I feel so uncomfortable out in public these past few months.  I don't go out much lately where I live because of wanting to avoid bumping into people I know, which happens all the time here.  I've been off work a long time and just don't want to run into colleagues and feel like I have to explain anything, I just want to avoid the awkwardness.  I've never had anxiety/ panic/ agoraphobia type issues; and I believe this is just a transitory thing while I adjust to my diagnosis.

Rena, thanks for the offer and I will let you know if we are coming to the city anytime soon.  :)

db1

[angel677]

I can understand. I try hard not to do anything, and if I just can't wait any longer I make sure to go alone. I have a hard enough time trying to do things without the kids there to distract me. I have got lost without really being lost. I also notice the large group of people(like at a mall) really bother me. It makes me feel like they are all watching me. Crazy I know, but it is how I feel. When I have to go shopping I always go to walmart, because they don't close and I can go at some crazy hour when no one in there right mind would be there.
I hope yall don't have this problem as bad as I do.
Angel

[ELT]

Awwww, Maggie, he sounds sweet.  My bf sees me losing strength before I notice.  

I like shopping with my bf, no one else.  We go to the mall by the time it opens, 8 or 9 am.  We hit about four stores, we are usually eating lunch by 11, and head home.  

We grocery shop in 15 minutes, sometimes he has to take over cart pushing.  I somehow always manage to get the cart which has one front whell which doesn't hit the floor.  So, it veers to one side.  By the time we are five minutes into shopping, I can't push it anymore, LOL.

Too much of absolutely ANY thing is sensory overload.  Thus, shut down.

'cept beer.  LOL

Erica

[LLWB]

I to plan a big day sometimes. I have to drive about 65 miles to "the" Mall. I usually can make about 3 stores, can't find anything I like, and give up. I thought it was only me. The last time I went I had to go outside and sit down on the curb. My legs hurt so bad. People looked at me like I was crazy, but you know what? I didn't care. Let them be me for 1 hour, then they would understand. The time before I went with my son. Shopped at one store and gave up. We went and ate, and my son told me he was taking me home. I must have looked awful for him to notice! Teen-age boys usually aren't that observant. He even drove home. I wanted to go last weekend, but just wasn't up to it. I have to go before June LOL as I'm taking my son to Florida for a graduation trip, to visit his sister. I need clothes! Yikes.............Maggie

[ELT]

In fact, it's because of this that I hardly ever wear jewelry anymore, my wardrobe is simple, and I follow the same patterns all the time.  Less decisions to make.  Less opportunity for my brain to shut down in the middle of wherever.  LOL

Erica

[ELT]

I have days when I can't decide what to make for dinner, it all seems so overwhelming.  Yet, I can make some extraordinary meals, from scratch.  Some days deciding to wear jewelry, and then what jewelry to wear is daunting.  

I DO not suffer from panic attacks, and, as I am sure I have read somewhere, our brains have difficulty sometimes making 'executive' decisions.  So, that must be it.  

Lots of different sensory input can also distract us from trying to make a decision, even about simple things.  Like my bf standing over my shoulder in the store trying to speed me up, saying, 'what are we looking for?   what does it look like?'  And all the people and noise and trying to look for things, and where I am, and kids screaming, and people walking in my way, and, and, and......

So, I say it's part of ms, and not my fault at all.  LOL

Erica

[Rena705]

Ain't that the truth!  But my vision is considerably better than yours...it's my legs that don't work so good but I have my cane.  What a pair we would make but I bet we would have a lot of laughs!!!  Let me know when you are coming into town again and maybe we could meet up?!?

Rena

[doublevision1]

Yes it just occurred to me that I should bring you with me when shopping for cooking utensils, otherwise I might end up like Quix with salad tongs poking out of my skull, lol.  Not that this isn't a unique fashion statement, mind you.....


:)

db1

[Rena705]

YOU SILLY SILLY GIRL...MOST PEOPLE WITH REGULAR VISION AVOID THAT WEST EDMONTON MALL LIKE THE PLAGUE!!

You should never, ever go there especially alone and when you can't see!  If you have to go and look at cooking utensil's and such again, please call me and we can be out there together and at least it's two against the masses and we will both stand a better chance!

We went to the comedy club there for New Year's and I thought I was going to lose it right there and then when we were walking through the packed mall...I just wanted to scream to tell everyone to shut up cause the constant rumble of people's voices was making my skin crawl!  It was horrible!!

Please tell hubby that there are a lot of other malls in town that have some really nice stuff...Southgate, Bonnie Doon, Northgate...to name only a few and I think it could possibly save your life!!

You are a crazy but brave one my dear! tee hee

Lots of Hugs,

Rena

[CtResident]

Ahhh, guitars! I understand what you mean! :-)

I gravitate toward book stores, then can't spend the $$ on them. Prefer used bookstores or thrift stores. Frugal Yankee girl.

Suzanne

[doublevision1]

I had the same experience the last couple of times I set foot in a mall.  Both times, I was really looking forward to going out of town and doing some shopping.  Like Rena, I'm unable to drive at the moment so have to rely on my husband to get anywhere.  We usually go our separate ways in the mall since I don't want to look at guitars and he has no interest in shoes or cooking utensils.  

I found myself feeling really vulnerable as I walked around by myself; first, because with my double vision, I am constantly being startled by thinking someone is about to walk into me when in fact they are several feet away.  Second, I'm so self-conscious about my appearance, with my eyes muscles not working together sometimes I look cross-eyed.  So I avoid eye contact and keep moving.  On both occasions I just couldn't wait to get out of there.  

Mind you, this was in the W. Edmonton Mall, which I'm sure Rena can attest to, is probably the most hellish place on earth - large, sprawling, busy all the time.  Definitely a place to avoid when already feeling overwhelmed.

I love online shopping.

db1

[Rena705]

I was just speaking to my Mom about it and she thinks that my problem may be a panic attack because I don't get out very often and I suppose that could be but all I know is that I didn't like it either and I don't want to feel like it again!

Thank you for the offer of the rides...you are very sweet...but I don't like the mall or shopping either to be honest...just something that has to be done once in a while!  :-)

Rena

[CtResident]

Many years ago my daughters' speech pathologist gave us a video to watch, called How Difficult Can This Be? It outlined the things that most folks wouldn't be overwhelmed by, but in the mind of a special needs person, it is indeed too much to handle. (I have twin autistic girls.)

That's the way I felt last night.

I hate that feeling.

Hope you like your hoodies! I'd offer to drive you but frankly, I'm not one to go to the mall that often anyway. I found me a husband there 20+ years ago, and that's the only good thing about the mall. :-)

Suzanne

[Rena705]

Hi Suzanne...I went to the mall last week after a dr. appt. and I was looking for a new hoodie jacket...seemed simple enough...yeah right!  

I was so overwhelmed and confused and just didn't want to be there!  I tried on a few and couldn't make an decision at all so didn't buy anything.  I went to the library and picked up a book that I had on hold and called hubby to have him pick me up.

I found this especially frustrating since I don't get out on my own at all.  I have to do everything with hubby hanging over my shoulder and that get's old really quick.  I was so looking forward to this "outing" and I figure that my brain blew it!

It is not a good feeling when you go from being what I figured was an intelligent person that could give to the world to someone that isn't able to buy a bloody hoodie!!

I came home and decided to look through the Sears catalogue online and found a couple there and they should be ready for pickup on Wednesday.  To he** with the stupid mall...it brought me WAAAAYYY down and it will be a while before I can get up the nerve to try that again, that is for sure!

Rena