Inspired by Rendean's journal entry about her good doctor, I would like to ask:
What is a REAL doctor to you?
Unbelievably, after 10 years of undiagnosed symptoms in which I went through 5 PCPs who might as well have been in outer space (or in one case, FROM outer space), I have found a GOOD PCP. I've only seen him 4 times (in the past year and a half), but with every visit I am more convinced he's a REAL doctor. I had totally despaired of finding one and still can't quite believe my luck (at last!).
A REAL doctor (like him):
(1) listens carefully,
(2) asks enough questions to really understand the situation,
(3) takes what I say at face value (i.e., appears to believe me without a hint of doubt),
(4) writes things down immediately so he gets it right,
(5) looks things up (like meds) on the spot from his exam-room computer or his phone, for accuracy and appropriateness,
(6) examines the patient (what a concept! I thought they weren't doing that anymore),
(7) adjusts his thinking and plans based on what he sees and hears from me, and
(8) talks to me in a perfectly straightforward manner, without a hint of smirking, without trying to label me as anxious, old, confused, or "been reading on the Internet."
By contrast, the second-best doctor I ever had, one of the neuros I saw, only did (1) and (7). (And sort of 5, but with the PDR instead of a computer, but this was back in 2000, so I give him credit.)
It could be that my current PCP is just too new a doctor (I think a couple of years out of his residency) to start the smirking and the labeling of middle-aged female patients with numerous odd symptoms, but right now I don't care--my only worry is that he'll move away somewhere and I'll have to go back to the outer-space docs.
A year into my symptoms, I changed PCPs and said to myself, "All I want is someone who will listen to me, believe me, and follow me, even if they can't diagnose me." I didn't think that was too much to ask, but I was wrong. Over the years I kept downgrading my expectations, so that finally I was saying "All I want is for this new PCP to NOT say anything that will plunge me into the black hole again, such as implying that I'm an anxious patient for asking a question, or giving me that beautifully smug little smile that says she's got me all figured out before I get two sentences out of my mouth." To avoid that happening, I learned not to talk to PCPs about anything except Rx refills.
I didn't even tell this new doc about my neuro symptoms (except the hearing loss and dizziness) until today, because I didn't want him to start smirking. Well, it came out today (because he ASKED a lot about my dizziness, and my having seen neurologists and ENTs), and wonder of wonders, he proceeded to ask me more questions and actually did a neuro exam! Just having such a doctor feels extremely therapeutic.
His name is Dr. Grace--a supremely apt name.
Besides being logical and smart, he is polite, efficient, confident, kind, straightforward, and trusts what I say. That is a REAL DOCTOR.
What's YOUR definition of one?
Nancy