What is (or was) your biggest fear upon diagnosis?

[sllowe]

Hi there,

We all have so many varied experiences, thought it would be good to ask what was your biggest fear when you heard you had MS? Or, one of the infamous mimics? And, I don't want to exclude our limbolanders -- you are a huge part of our family here. This is for you too! I hope this helps you too.  If even small, there had to be something you were scared of. If you feel comfortable, spill it! It's a good way for us all to get to know one another a little more.

My fear was that the Drs were wrong. As far as I was concerned, I definitely had a stroke. I wasn't afraid to have MS, just didn't believe they were right. Heck, I knew nothing about MS. And, I was smack in the middle of my 1st attack. I was definitely scared (though I'd never have admitted it to anyone then) each day waking up to what I lost most, which was the ability to think and react all at the same time - it was chewing, driving, looking, reaching, writing, listening and responding to people, etc.  Whole nother meaning to walking and chewing gum at the same time, haha

Seriously though, what got you going?

-Shell

[Mand125]

Sorry OT but I just had to say I loved reading how you got your nickname (JJ).

I hope you are feeling a bit better.

Mand

[supermum_ms]

I've been pondering this for a few days now, funny but thinking about this has actually made me think about things that i havent been willing or ready to do, sometimes the future is dark but i should of been a girl guide cause i've always got spare batteries lol. As odd as this will sound, i've never had to worry about anything because those i love do it all for me, I grew up hearing "you cant do that, xxx will happen and then what will you do" so i've always said "yes I can, if it happens so be it".

I would climb the tallest trees, joined a boys only club because they said I couldnt but I did. I swam miles to shore in shark in fested water (lucky they were not hungry), I didnt get the nick name JJ (jesus janice) for nothing lol. I've always thought i was strong enough to face anything, and sometimes i have had to be. I've had so many bumps in the road of life, this is just one more that i have to face, oh i'm kicking and screaming but still i will go down with a joke on my lips and a smile in my heart, I know no other way to be.

So what do i really fear, well apart from being forgotten in a dusty corner with a lamp shade on my head, I fear loosing my mind! Take my legs, my arms, my sight, take everything but do not take anymore of my mind, it is the one thing, the only thing that is the sum total of and essence of ME!!!

Cheers..........JJ

[johnniebear]

I guess I've had many concerns,  the biggest is how will I be able to care for my wife & family.  At 50 and self employed , can I continue to generate an income with this MS?

We surely thought at this age,  the kids are grown & gone and we are free to travel a little & think about when and where to retire--  that's all changed and I'm ok with that as long as I'm not a burden to my family..

Then all of sudden an MS moment pops up from time to time,  we took our three old Grandson to the Zoo & he wanted me to pick him up and he wanted to  ride on my shoulders-   I couldn't take the chance with the balance issues,, Thank God he is only three and forgot about it later.

Best of Health to all

John  

[michelleislay]

what an excellent post...i have been waiting for the time to sit down and read through everything and it still has not come, but i wanted to quickly weigh in on it before it skips to the next page, and i will come back to read all soon.

i think for me the thing i fear most is not being taken seriously.  i haven't thought too far ahead to the future about what a diagnosis might mean to me and seem a little stuck with living in shadow of the last neuro appt., whereby i felt completely discounted.  

it's a strange place to be, because while i am truly hoping the mri's come back clean and negative for anything at all, that scenario would support the neuro's theory that i am just fine and need a little physiotherapy.

irrational i know as i now have proof that back issues are not my problem, and i will definately communicate to her next time that anxiety does not play into it for me either.

ok, and perhaps i have also spent some time worrying about how something like a dx of ms would effect my kids...

xo michelle

[essdipity]

We all are unique, so our reactions vary as much as we do. There is no right and wrong about this sort of thing, and no one can judge anyone else---about this or any other aspect of living with MS.

This forum is great in general, and this topic is especially on the mark, because it allows each of us to express ourselves and to understand others' viewpoints. That makes the MS burden shared, and thus easier to bear.

There have been many comments in this thread, and I'm hoping for many more. It seems most people are finding this topic very therapeutic.

ess

[jensequitur]

I guess maybe I'm lucky.  I've always been a cheerful sort of person, and usually things don't get me down.  When I started having all these symptoms, I knew something was wrong - but I didn't know what.  My thought was a brain tumor.  When I heard it was MS, it was a relief!