When is this going to stop?

[shel67]

I felt good (I use the term loosely) Friday and by  Saturday I began to go downhill again. Every time I feel good, maybe even this rollercoaster will settle down for a little while and I feel I might even be able to make it, I feel bad again. Symptoms will even feel "better" in some way. I'm less imbalanced, clearer head, I feel like I want to move instinctively and feel like body wants to be normal.  But by late afternoon and when I woke up this morning,  I feel like I'm getting worse again. I'm so afraid more is happening to me subtly. Now my eyes are scraring me. Off and on blurriness.

Is this the way this goes? Isn't there a leveling off at some point?

[supermum_ms]

You have come up with many misguided interpretations about MS and Mental Health .......if this "I have always been emotional and high energy, drama, reactive person" is  accurate, it's highly 'possible' your already established thought pattern, is directing you towards dramatic interpretations and leading your inaccurate fuzzy logic now...

There are millions and millions of people all over the world who have some type of Mental Health issue.......it's not uncommon for highly strung individuals to have an underlying psychological disorder and experience mood swings, anxiety, depression, panic attacks, OCD etc during stressful periods, they don't all have MS.

I have no idea how you've come up with your life long emotional responses being the causation of your MS, but there is no basis of fact to support any theory that a persons life time psychological health or personality, has any relevance to causation of a neurological condition like MS what's so ever!

On the logic flip side, IF you have 'always' been emotional and high energy, drama, reactive person, MS would be your least likely explanation if psychologically you've always been this way inclined! Your inadvertently making the assumption that your psychological health caused you to develop MS and at the same time have the belief that your MS is the direct cause of your long standing psychological health, which is contradicting fuzzy logic....    

It's truly fantastic that you've seen a Councillor, it's more reasonable to expect it's going to take a lot of time and cognitive behavioural therapy, before you'll have the ability to shut down your internal dialogue of dramatic fearful projections and anxiety. I promise in time you'll see the point, so give your self time to understand and reap the benefits of doing the treatment, don't give up on it yet.

The first step in getting some control over an anxious mindset, is to start challenging any fearful, dramatic, and anxious thoughts before they settle into the loop, which ultimately clouds logic and directs more anxious behaviours.

It's generally advisable to 'avoid' engaging in any anxiety feeding behaviours eg reading information directed by and supports the fearful predictions and anxious thought loop, avoid getting into negative inner dialogue or negative conversations with others etc.

The point is to continually redirect your mind from focusing on the negatives, it may seem ridiculous to be advised to not think of worse outcomes but your anxious mindset is what's directing these thoughts, and everything you fear can't possibly come true. Living in the moment and or focusing on the the here and now, actually helps to keep you in your actual reality and doesn't give your fears free roaming and anxious thoughts the attention it seeks.

You need to keep in mind that your anxiety is likely what's gotten you focused on a dire prediction, and your thoughts that your MS is progressing, MS is not mild etc etc may not actually be your reality but the reflection of your growing fears....keep open minded and breath!

HUGS..........JJ

[shel67]

Yeah... I saw a nice family practitioner today along with two different councilors. She gave me the go ahead to take celexa. Councilling just listens to me rant and cry. Don't see the point. They do make suggestions to live in the day. Don't think of the worse outcome, etc.

Sigh...  I just wish I knew things will get better. Its not like, tomorrow's another day. Tomorrow is a day if I wake up the same, I'm lucky. I want to get over this way of thinking.

[HVAC]

It simply in not true that anti depressants do not work if depression is from MS damage.I have had MS and depression all my life and anti depressants work on me. Try not to but road blocks up before you find out what you need.

Alex

[doublevision1]

"I have no problem taking an anti depressant but I read with depression that is caused by the disease itself, medication doesn't work."

Untrue. Depression is one of the more treatable symptoms of MS.

[doublevision1]

"I can't cry and let my emotions out because that can trigger an attack."

An anxiety attack? Maybe. An MS attack? No, it absolutely will not.

[shel67]

another thing... I have always been emotional and high energy, drama, reactive person. I wonder how much damage I caused my self over the years. my damage was done in silence. I need to get this under control. how much more damage am I doing to myself that will manifest later on?