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Whose the Blame
Whose the blame? Is it MS that puts us in wheelchairs or is it our own lazy *****? You tell me.
Best Answer
Blame is an "external emotion" other people lay on you. Guilt is when you "internalize" blame. If I do what I can with the best of my ability, screw those that try to lay blame on me. I hike when I can. I camp. I go to concerts, etc. I look goofy wearing a cooling vest. Tough. I do it for me, not them. My partner is 17 years younger than me, and I still keep up (for the most part.)
The one's to "blame" are the people who "blame." I, for one, don't feel the need to be guilty when others "blame" me. I save guilt for when I feel bad about something I did of my own accord.
Bob
The one's to "blame" are the people who "blame." I, for one, don't feel the need to be guilty when others "blame" me. I save guilt for when I feel bad about something I did of my own accord.
Bob
I will be equally sincere.
I have felt targeted as a recipient of your anger since our first communication here. I’m sorry to see we have made so little forward progress in our forum relationship. Say what you want to me, it's the anger you live with that saddens me.
I wish good things for you. Apparently you can’t accept that from me.
My efforts in this regard are exhausted.
Mary
I have felt targeted as a recipient of your anger since our first communication here. I’m sorry to see we have made so little forward progress in our forum relationship. Say what you want to me, it's the anger you live with that saddens me.
I wish good things for you. Apparently you can’t accept that from me.
My efforts in this regard are exhausted.
Mary
I use a voice recognition program that comes free with Windows. Lucky me!!! My doctor is aware I am off steroids. I do believe in eight weeks most would be out of my body thus the reason I am not moving...the swelling is back.
You want me to answer your post sincerely? I feel like it is oh here sweet Sumana then stab stab stab.
I am done with this thread. Have fun.
You want me to answer your post sincerely? I feel like it is oh here sweet Sumana then stab stab stab.
I am done with this thread. Have fun.
Sumana, it always sounds like you are using everything you possible can. You are riding a stationary bike. If your left leg is doing all the work and your right leg gets strapped on for a free ride - terrific! It’s still a wonderful benefit for your whole body. You can only use the keyboard for a few minutes before resting? Do it! It sounds bunches better than giving up completely (at least to me).
MS may take what it wants but I’m not handing anything over without a fight. I also refuse to give up on the idea that missing abilities could stage a comeback in the future. When you talk about your treatment plans going forward and your supportive family I hear a fighting spirit in you.
The “use it” type of “exercise” found to be beneficial for PwMS (and now universally encouraged) has more to do with MOVEMENT than any traditional idea of exercise. It has NOTHING to do with the phrase you find so offensive but this is not the place to repeat previously offered explanations. I suspect the phrase was created by advertisers with something to sell and is most often used by people wanting to justify their own excesses.
I hear your anger Sumana. I recognize it. I understand it. I’ve felt my own version of it. I’ve read it between the lines of other member postings. I’ve seen it in topics boldly labeled “Caution I’m VENTING”.
Feel free to share your anger. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. In fact, it can be useful in moving us toward necessary action. I worry more about a person who is never moved to anger than I do one who expresses justified outrage.
God knows you have been through a lot recently and have every reason to be angry. To top it off, the steroids that once offered you a small mobility boost have turned traitor. In fact, I’m wondering if they haven’t betrayed your emotions as well as your digestive tract.
You may want to call your neuro and let her know what it’s been like being completely off the steroids. I believe it is possible for the body to get into the rhythm of scheduled doses like you were taking. Some people need a taper to avoid passing through miseryville on their way to becoming steroid free.
You know, it’s not necessary to jump into a person’s anger pit to be supportive. Action oriented people may tend to show they care by offering explanations or helpful suggestions. It’s not about disagreeing. It’s about offering the only help they can. Anger that isn’t ready for resolution makes lots of people uncomfortable. Anger that strikes out in a you’re-with-me-or-against-me manner is (at the least) off-putting.
I think you are oh, so right with your out of the box idea. We don’t have to share identical experiences to help each other. When diverse people come together they learn about themselves and others at the same time. I believe that’s the strength of this forum.
E PLURIBUS UNUM
It translates, Out of many, One.
It doesn’t mean we are all striving to be alike. It means we work to use the thoughts, talents and differences (the diversity) of individuals to become a beautiful UNIFIED tapestry.
I’ll let you get on with moving on now. Thank you for coming back to share with a late comer.
Mary
MS may take what it wants but I’m not handing anything over without a fight. I also refuse to give up on the idea that missing abilities could stage a comeback in the future. When you talk about your treatment plans going forward and your supportive family I hear a fighting spirit in you.
The “use it” type of “exercise” found to be beneficial for PwMS (and now universally encouraged) has more to do with MOVEMENT than any traditional idea of exercise. It has NOTHING to do with the phrase you find so offensive but this is not the place to repeat previously offered explanations. I suspect the phrase was created by advertisers with something to sell and is most often used by people wanting to justify their own excesses.
I hear your anger Sumana. I recognize it. I understand it. I’ve felt my own version of it. I’ve read it between the lines of other member postings. I’ve seen it in topics boldly labeled “Caution I’m VENTING”.
Feel free to share your anger. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. In fact, it can be useful in moving us toward necessary action. I worry more about a person who is never moved to anger than I do one who expresses justified outrage.
God knows you have been through a lot recently and have every reason to be angry. To top it off, the steroids that once offered you a small mobility boost have turned traitor. In fact, I’m wondering if they haven’t betrayed your emotions as well as your digestive tract.
You may want to call your neuro and let her know what it’s been like being completely off the steroids. I believe it is possible for the body to get into the rhythm of scheduled doses like you were taking. Some people need a taper to avoid passing through miseryville on their way to becoming steroid free.
You know, it’s not necessary to jump into a person’s anger pit to be supportive. Action oriented people may tend to show they care by offering explanations or helpful suggestions. It’s not about disagreeing. It’s about offering the only help they can. Anger that isn’t ready for resolution makes lots of people uncomfortable. Anger that strikes out in a you’re-with-me-or-against-me manner is (at the least) off-putting.
I think you are oh, so right with your out of the box idea. We don’t have to share identical experiences to help each other. When diverse people come together they learn about themselves and others at the same time. I believe that’s the strength of this forum.
E PLURIBUS UNUM
It translates, Out of many, One.
It doesn’t mean we are all striving to be alike. It means we work to use the thoughts, talents and differences (the diversity) of individuals to become a beautiful UNIFIED tapestry.
I’ll let you get on with moving on now. Thank you for coming back to share with a late comer.
Mary
Thank you, Mary and I agree. We each have issues that bring us the emotion of anger. Have you ever watched another wife with her husband and though, "Hell, I would KILL (errr...a figure of speech) mine for saying that to me". Yet it doesn't seem to bother her at all. Anger is just an emotion. It is no different than the emotion of joy. Just emotions. It is what we do with it that brings trouble. There is nothing wrong with voicing anger. We all have boundaries. This issue is one of mine and obviously one a few others feel. It is what it is..We are what we are...No harm has taken place in this discussion. In fact, I think it brings us all to think outside our own box. It has shown me how others interpret the phase. I still don't agree and would still speak my mind but I have a different understanding of it.
Again thank you to all that participated.
Again thank you to all that participated.
Thanks for letting us know more about how you feel when you hear these words. We can only understand each other to the degree any of us feel comfortable sharing ourselves.
I doubt any certain measure of sensitivity is required to be triggered by specific phrases. It is common to humanity and develops from our life experience.
Unfortunately, we are pretty much powerless to stop people from using phrases that trigger our anger. Sometimes we can minimize our own reaction by recognizing what it is inside of us that raises a fist the instant it hears certain words. Confidence in knowing who we are can make us less reactive about what others say or imply. Sometimes it still hurts.
This isn’t about an opinion or who agrees with you. It’s who you are. I can respect that. Unfortunately, there is no action to take or place to go that can guarantee freedom from triggers.
Mary
I doubt any certain measure of sensitivity is required to be triggered by specific phrases. It is common to humanity and develops from our life experience.
Unfortunately, we are pretty much powerless to stop people from using phrases that trigger our anger. Sometimes we can minimize our own reaction by recognizing what it is inside of us that raises a fist the instant it hears certain words. Confidence in knowing who we are can make us less reactive about what others say or imply. Sometimes it still hurts.
This isn’t about an opinion or who agrees with you. It’s who you are. I can respect that. Unfortunately, there is no action to take or place to go that can guarantee freedom from triggers.
Mary
Just so you know, I would never attempt to judge another sitting in a wheelchair. I would never use the flip phrase "use it or lose it". Why? Because I think it is hurtful. On this board we have no idea of why some are using wheelchairs. It may be due to lack of physicial strength or emotional strength or pain level. I think if we are all gonna be bragging on how supportive we are of each other when a poster says "ouch that hurts" it should at least be heard.
I have felt heard even if others felt differently. I had my say and as always am moving on. Maybe one person that has never thought it could be hurtful to some will now consider. If not, true to my own nature, I held nothing back...lol...I am just me.
I have felt heard even if others felt differently. I had my say and as always am moving on. Maybe one person that has never thought it could be hurtful to some will now consider. If not, true to my own nature, I held nothing back...lol...I am just me.
You know what I think Red said best? She said, "I think 'use it or lose it' is a hurtful, blaming and cruel phrase." So one agrees with me!!
I may be a bit over sensitive but I think there are others on this board that may feel the same way given the right conditions.
I have been on steroids monthly for almost a year, I can no longer take them due to gastro problems. I have been off them eight weeks. My body functions at a lower level than when I first went to my neuro. I can not move my right hip, foot or leg. I have a hard time sitting up straight. I have to hold on to walls to bathe. If I am in my wheelchair I need a seatbelt because my body is floppy. My right hand tires just using the control.
Now see that picture in your mind and imagine how you might feel hearing the term "use it or lose it", Hell, on the steroids I thought I was getting stronger Now I find myself a useless lump. And yes my neuro has another plan. I will see her when she returns from vacation. Whatever the plan, I am in. In NO part of the plan do I want to hear use it or lose it. No, not after my battle. NO NO NO NO. ...and again as Red stated we are the warriors. I'm a damn proud one. Don't insult me.
I may be a bit over sensitive but I think there are others on this board that may feel the same way given the right conditions.
I have been on steroids monthly for almost a year, I can no longer take them due to gastro problems. I have been off them eight weeks. My body functions at a lower level than when I first went to my neuro. I can not move my right hip, foot or leg. I have a hard time sitting up straight. I have to hold on to walls to bathe. If I am in my wheelchair I need a seatbelt because my body is floppy. My right hand tires just using the control.
Now see that picture in your mind and imagine how you might feel hearing the term "use it or lose it", Hell, on the steroids I thought I was getting stronger Now I find myself a useless lump. And yes my neuro has another plan. I will see her when she returns from vacation. Whatever the plan, I am in. In NO part of the plan do I want to hear use it or lose it. No, not after my battle. NO NO NO NO. ...and again as Red stated we are the warriors. I'm a damn proud one. Don't insult me.
Im new in finding whats wrong with me I have weakness that keeps me from leaving my house and wishing everything in my house was no more than 5 steps away.
When I hear move it or loose it, I take it as move what you can before its gone. Like I want to see the world and if I dont move I may loose that chance. One may want to climb a mountain and hurry or you may loose that opertunity.
Yes depending on my mood I too may take great offense to the phrase.
What I hate most is I dont look as weak as I am or sick and people tell me oh yeah I know what you mean but I never complain I just push through it. But no matter how hard I try I cant make my hands do something they just wont work right, and when everything is so difficult as if doing it for the first time it becomes so exhausting that taking is too much.
But my last nuero said it must be anxiety since my lesions didnt change after 3 years
When I hear move it or loose it, I take it as move what you can before its gone. Like I want to see the world and if I dont move I may loose that chance. One may want to climb a mountain and hurry or you may loose that opertunity.
Yes depending on my mood I too may take great offense to the phrase.
What I hate most is I dont look as weak as I am or sick and people tell me oh yeah I know what you mean but I never complain I just push through it. But no matter how hard I try I cant make my hands do something they just wont work right, and when everything is so difficult as if doing it for the first time it becomes so exhausting that taking is too much.
But my last nuero said it must be anxiety since my lesions didnt change after 3 years
COMMUNITY LEADER
I can think of so so many conditions that recommend keeping active, so now ALS is being researched to see if it would help or not, it will probably open the gate for more research to happen on the subject. What i did not see was anything that suggested 'blame' or 'lazyness' or even responsibility being place at the ALS patients feet.
"It really is about quality of life," said Jones." ALS is incurable, but if exercise can make an ALS patient's life more comfortable, they're better able to manage the disease for longer and it makes their lives a little easier, it's worth pursuing."
I dont think I or anyone will change your understanding of what the term means, your turning it into a judgement statement when it isn't. Just about anything can be turned into a judgement statement, a persons tone can make even the friendliest term into something negative but that doesn't translate to it forever more being negative.
This term is becoming so commonly used by society that it has become a soundbite of little meaning and generally its not infering blame unless you choose to interpret it that way. What about the term "no pain no gain" does that infer your not working hard enough unless your in agony, no it doesn't but some people will interpret it that way and just because they interpret it incorrectly doesn't make it true or have more meaning than it does.
I've said this too but I think Red said it better "It's not our fault at all!!!!! Yet we need to have hope, dreams and perseverance. Breathe and live in spite of this disease. Those who want to shame or blame us are cowards. We are the warriors."
Peace...........JJ
BTW: The creator of the thread gets the option to choose button of any responding post from having their cursor hovering a post, move to another post and the system gives you the option to choose that one and so on, the same thing happens with the report icon.
"It really is about quality of life," said Jones." ALS is incurable, but if exercise can make an ALS patient's life more comfortable, they're better able to manage the disease for longer and it makes their lives a little easier, it's worth pursuing."
I dont think I or anyone will change your understanding of what the term means, your turning it into a judgement statement when it isn't. Just about anything can be turned into a judgement statement, a persons tone can make even the friendliest term into something negative but that doesn't translate to it forever more being negative.
This term is becoming so commonly used by society that it has become a soundbite of little meaning and generally its not infering blame unless you choose to interpret it that way. What about the term "no pain no gain" does that infer your not working hard enough unless your in agony, no it doesn't but some people will interpret it that way and just because they interpret it incorrectly doesn't make it true or have more meaning than it does.
I've said this too but I think Red said it better "It's not our fault at all!!!!! Yet we need to have hope, dreams and perseverance. Breathe and live in spite of this disease. Those who want to shame or blame us are cowards. We are the warriors."
Peace...........JJ
BTW: The creator of the thread gets the option to choose button of any responding post from having their cursor hovering a post, move to another post and the system gives you the option to choose that one and so on, the same thing happens with the report icon.
Here is why you can say the same thing to an ALS patient.
http://www.physorg.com/news195217468.html
One is a disease of the muscles, the other a disease of the nerves.
Use it or lose it.
And, I don't understand why but I was asked to choose JJ's post as best answer. I had to leave and when I came and logged back on, it was gone. And yes, I would have choosen it. It was the ninth post on this thread.
http://www.physorg.com/news195217468.html
One is a disease of the muscles, the other a disease of the nerves.
Use it or lose it.
And, I don't understand why but I was asked to choose JJ's post as best answer. I had to leave and when I came and logged back on, it was gone. And yes, I would have choosen it. It was the ninth post on this thread.
>> For every day I try to recapture my former life, it puts me 3 days trying to recover.
BIG ditto
BIG ditto
I am trying to see where this post is going and if any of us really knows how to get to the hear of what Sumana is asking. My 2 cents worth is that I'm not lazy - Period. And, my deconditioned body is not the result of being lazy - Period! I was always active before MS and try to stay that way as best I can. I can't run anymore and walking is not much of a pleasure any more either. For every day I try to recapture my former life, it puts me 3 days trying to recover.
So, Sumana, you asked if it is your mind (lazy arse) or your body (MS) putting you in that wheelchair. The only person who can answer that question for you is you. You and me and everyone else who responded, we each have our own unique relationship with MS. I hope we all can find our own path in keeping us a mobile as possible for as long as possibl.
So, Sumana, you asked if it is your mind (lazy arse) or your body (MS) putting you in that wheelchair. The only person who can answer that question for you is you. You and me and everyone else who responded, we each have our own unique relationship with MS. I hope we all can find our own path in keeping us a mobile as possible for as long as possibl.
I think 'use it or lose it' is a hurtful, blaming and cruel phrase. People can't fathom the pain we are in, they don't want to know and they are afraid. If we could 'get' MS then they could too. They are afraid to soften themselves to comfort us. They want to feel superior.
I get allot of stupid suggestions, drink this special tea, aromatherapy with certain essential oils, machines that are supposed to cure and psycho-immunology etc. etc.
They can't fathom our pain.
When I am able I drive into town. I try to go in to one store each time, a small store like Walgreens, or a UPS store. That's big for me. I am doing the best I can.
I am working at losing weight right now. I am morbidly obese. My goal is to get enough pounds that I can be on a horse again. I won't be able to mount or keep myself in the saddle, but I could if I go to a therapeutic center they will help.
It's not our fault at all!!!!! Yet we need to have hope, dreams and perseverance. Breathe and live in spite of this disease. Those who want to shame or blame us are cowards. We are the warriors.
Hugs, Red
I get allot of stupid suggestions, drink this special tea, aromatherapy with certain essential oils, machines that are supposed to cure and psycho-immunology etc. etc.
They can't fathom our pain.
When I am able I drive into town. I try to go in to one store each time, a small store like Walgreens, or a UPS store. That's big for me. I am doing the best I can.
I am working at losing weight right now. I am morbidly obese. My goal is to get enough pounds that I can be on a horse again. I won't be able to mount or keep myself in the saddle, but I could if I go to a therapeutic center they will help.
It's not our fault at all!!!!! Yet we need to have hope, dreams and perseverance. Breathe and live in spite of this disease. Those who want to shame or blame us are cowards. We are the warriors.
Hugs, Red
I guess the point might have been that if we don't use our bodies to do what we can whilst we can then the chances are we'll stop being able to do what we're currently able to much sooner than otherwise could be the case.
This doesn't mean that the MS won't get in the way and stop us being able to do it anyway, but it gives us the best chance.
No-one is suggesting that being in a wheelchair means that you didn't try your damned hardest to 'use it' whilst you could - probably by 'using it' then you delayed having to use a chair until now.
Maybe that's actually something to be proud of? The fact you did try your hardest?
I know how certain phrases really hit a raw nerve though. To me 'get a grip' enrages me more that I can rationally explain, mainly because the times I've had it yelled at me have been times when my grip has had to hold onto many things, the others of which were completely invisible in the situation.
Jep
This doesn't mean that the MS won't get in the way and stop us being able to do it anyway, but it gives us the best chance.
No-one is suggesting that being in a wheelchair means that you didn't try your damned hardest to 'use it' whilst you could - probably by 'using it' then you delayed having to use a chair until now.
Maybe that's actually something to be proud of? The fact you did try your hardest?
I know how certain phrases really hit a raw nerve though. To me 'get a grip' enrages me more that I can rationally explain, mainly because the times I've had it yelled at me have been times when my grip has had to hold onto many things, the others of which were completely invisible in the situation.
Jep
One size never fits all, this is true for most things and certainly true of MS. Some of us are symptomless and some are facing major challenges just to do basic everyday things. There is no fairness in it and in spite of a common diagnosis, the effects on our bodies are as different as we are.
I exercise my body b/c I can and I should, and since my dx I do it with a lot more gratitude. For people like me, it is important to use what we have, while we have it. It by no means means that b/c we are using it, it will always be working effectively.
If and when it goes, whether from MS or just old age, it's gone. There is no blame, it just reality. We can't stop progression (yet) anymore than we can stop aging or death.
I can't imagine that anyone would say you, or anyone else, is responsible for a disease that they have. Or that you can reverse the effects with mind over matter. I echo what has been said, we are all in this together. Sometimes we just get in a dark place and we need to be reminded that we are all connected.
Hang in there.
Julie
I exercise my body b/c I can and I should, and since my dx I do it with a lot more gratitude. For people like me, it is important to use what we have, while we have it. It by no means means that b/c we are using it, it will always be working effectively.
If and when it goes, whether from MS or just old age, it's gone. There is no blame, it just reality. We can't stop progression (yet) anymore than we can stop aging or death.
I can't imagine that anyone would say you, or anyone else, is responsible for a disease that they have. Or that you can reverse the effects with mind over matter. I echo what has been said, we are all in this together. Sometimes we just get in a dark place and we need to be reminded that we are all connected.
Hang in there.
Julie
But how can we help it? If our legs won't work etc., they won't it's a fact of living with MS.
No matter how hard we try - if it isn't going to work then it won't - true?
I can't find the post that has upset you, but we are all adults on this forum, and batttling the same disease - and like lulu said if you want to have separate forums for spinal and brain lesions, I really don't see where that will lead - as I have lesions on my brain and spine - so in what section would that put me?
Some days I can walk, and others I can't and I have to go in my roller.
Yes I am angry at my disease, and feel very angry at myself for not be able to do the things I used to no matter how hard I try. I am so frustrated at myself and feel guilty also for my family that I can barely look after anymore.
Use it or lose it????? What can we do?? even the most superior willpower cannot over come MS sometimes.
Believe me, we are all angry with our bodies for letting us down - that is why we are part of the Forum and one big family of friends.
I have honestly missed the post that has upset you so much - but these are just my thoughts on reading this thread - and ( as I am sure others will agree) this is a long post for me ;))
Now you take care girl - we are all in the same boat together.
Debs
No matter how hard we try - if it isn't going to work then it won't - true?
I can't find the post that has upset you, but we are all adults on this forum, and batttling the same disease - and like lulu said if you want to have separate forums for spinal and brain lesions, I really don't see where that will lead - as I have lesions on my brain and spine - so in what section would that put me?
Some days I can walk, and others I can't and I have to go in my roller.
Yes I am angry at my disease, and feel very angry at myself for not be able to do the things I used to no matter how hard I try. I am so frustrated at myself and feel guilty also for my family that I can barely look after anymore.
Use it or lose it????? What can we do?? even the most superior willpower cannot over come MS sometimes.
Believe me, we are all angry with our bodies for letting us down - that is why we are part of the Forum and one big family of friends.
I have honestly missed the post that has upset you so much - but these are just my thoughts on reading this thread - and ( as I am sure others will agree) this is a long post for me ;))
Now you take care girl - we are all in the same boat together.
Debs
Next time I see an ALS patient, I will remind them. It seems to be the thing to say.
Use it or lose it.
I am sure they, too, will find it uplifting.
Use it or lose it.
I am sure they, too, will find it uplifting.
I guess I can be sensitive. Use the term all you want. Should I have kept my mouth shut and smiled? I think we should be allowed to voice when our feelings are hurt. It doesn't bother me if none of you agree. I am Sumanadevii and those are my feelings on the issue. Big deal.
COMMUNITY LEADER
But isn't that the missunderstanding and missuse of what that term means? You know it, I know it and thousands of others know that it doesnt mean you put yourselves in the chair...a MonSter DID do it!
We only know of anyones fight from what we give of our selves, you dont know mine and I will never assume to know yours!
I actually feel miffed sometimes when someone states I need to exercise more, eat better, have my fillings removed etc etc what the heck does any of that mean and should I even care. What they think when its wrong just isn't my problem, i am all about educating each other but banging my head against a brick wall sometimes seems like too much effort. Exercise makes me weaker and the more i try to do the weaker I end up, so does that make me lazy and bringing this on my self, no it doesnt at all.
What about the MSers who have both spinal and brain lesions, why seperate and assume one group doesnt get the other? where would it all end? Seriously, I am loosing my cognitive mind, my ability to communicate and my mobility and yet I still manage to laugh and be happy with my lot so which group would you slot me into?
I do think you are being sensitive to this, and believe me or not I do feel I understand where your coming from but I still think you are reading blame when no one is actually openly saying it or implying it when they use the term "use it or loose it". You are interpreting it as an emotive concept and thats not what it means or suppose to ever mean.
Hugs..........JJ
We only know of anyones fight from what we give of our selves, you dont know mine and I will never assume to know yours!
I actually feel miffed sometimes when someone states I need to exercise more, eat better, have my fillings removed etc etc what the heck does any of that mean and should I even care. What they think when its wrong just isn't my problem, i am all about educating each other but banging my head against a brick wall sometimes seems like too much effort. Exercise makes me weaker and the more i try to do the weaker I end up, so does that make me lazy and bringing this on my self, no it doesnt at all.
What about the MSers who have both spinal and brain lesions, why seperate and assume one group doesnt get the other? where would it all end? Seriously, I am loosing my cognitive mind, my ability to communicate and my mobility and yet I still manage to laugh and be happy with my lot so which group would you slot me into?
I do think you are being sensitive to this, and believe me or not I do feel I understand where your coming from but I still think you are reading blame when no one is actually openly saying it or implying it when they use the term "use it or loose it". You are interpreting it as an emotive concept and thats not what it means or suppose to ever mean.
Hugs..........JJ
There wasn't a post that was about the issue. It was just said in passing on one of the threads. My point is, we do use it and lose it. When that happens it is not our fault. Why another MSer would use that term is beyond me. Or do I just not understand the term. To me it means, if you haven't use those muscles, you are going to lose them. It is your fault...It has nothing to do with having MS. You lost because you did not use them.
I guess it doesn't bother others but it does me. I am me own person as you all know...lol...I hate the term. I find it hurtful.
I guess it doesn't bother others but it does me. I am me own person as you all know...lol...I hate the term. I find it hurtful.
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But it does matter what you feel, sorry but it is a big deal to me (your why i'm still up and its 1:30am) what this thread has done is educate others to the simple fact that some people find the sound bite "use it or loose it" hurtful so use it correctly and use it wisely.
And no you shouldn't of kept your mouth shut and smiled, you will not be the only one who finds it hurtful but maybe the only one brave enough to speak up and i dont see anything wrong with speaking your mind when your feelings are involved.
Hugs...........JJ