Hocd :)

[bluebirds141516]

so I told my mom I want to see a therapist. It scares the hell out of me, but I want to get better so badly. we've discussed it before about my social problems so she has a list of people. no matter what the phycologist says, I'll be okay. I have a lot of anxiety about it, but I won't see her for a few weeks so it gives me time to get my **** together. I'm not sure what to say, what if she thinks I'm gay? Should I tell her about my experimentation online with girls or not? I guess it's important. I'm afraid she'll say that means I'm gay. Well, I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm really nervous but I thought about having a diagnosis today it felt so **** good. I know I'll have crazy doubt still but at least I'll be on my way to something that's not this. God, I hope I'm not gay. Or bi. Or asexual, which okay scares me so badly. So yeah that's where I am today. I'm not sure what to think, I'm happy. I didn't tell her about my OCD, I just told her I need help for my anxiety. I've tried to beat this on my own for 2 years and I've realized that it's not possible. But now that I think of seeing someone, i keep telling myself I'm over reacting and what if it's not OCD and what if I never even had these obsessive thoughts.
But now that I'm going to see someone, it's like my brain doesn't want me to??? I'm like, "it's all good. You never had OCD. You never questioned your sexuality. You never were upset. You just were always gay or asexual and that's all. You don't have to go to a therapist to tell you that when I just did." What is happening?! Maybe I'm spiking??? Should I still go? Thanks guys xx

[Anxiousocd]

Hi, i know how you feel. I dealt with hocd for a long time, eventually my obsession turned to oothe worries but anyways. I think you should go definitely, also heres some advice that helped me through :)
1. NEVER seek reassurance from people online or go to people who are gay/bi/asexual ECT. They wont understand and will more thank likely tell you are gay (which is not the case)
2.When you start worrying, try thinking of happy memories (this ones a bit harder)
3. Tell yourself that these worries are nothing but your anxiety and cannot control who you are or what you do.
4. This one is something that my therapist tells me i should do. Write 5-10 things that you dont mind worrying about on a piece of paper and whenever you start worrying about the bad thing, start worrying about one of the things you wrote down.
I hope this helped a bit :)
If you want to talk more, message me! I can respond faster on Instagram though, my Instagram username is @elixabeth.weaver

[JGF25]

^^^^Love it!

[JGF25]

Absolutely you should still go!  I'm proud of you for talking to your mom and taking this big step.  It is so important for you to learn how to deal with these thoughts.  And you need to tell the therapist everything!  They can't truly help you with this if you don't tell them what you are really afraid of.  What thoughts you are stuck on and why.  OCD sometimes has a trigger in the past.  I will share with you that I peed my pants when I was 7 on the 18th hold of a minature golf course.  Mortifying!  But what it did was when I was at college and stressed, I became afraid I would pee my pants on campus.  It was never going to happen but I brought back something from 10 years before and fixated on it and proceeded to learn where every bathroom was on campus!  It is how the disorder works.  Man....I'm so happy for you.  Let me know how it goes for you and remember that the first appointment is going to be getting to know you and you will probably do most of the talking about what is bothering you.  Get it all out...you will feel SO much better!  :)  JGF

[bluebirds141516]

Thank you!! But here's the thing, I feel like I'm bisexual now. Ever since, I feel calm about it. Why am I doing this to myself???? I'm getting help and now I don't feel like I need it because I feel so bisexual. I'm so sick of fighting.