I need some advice

[Sweetrose5]

Hi everyone I haven't been here in awhile. I have Hocd, at least I think I do, and I have been doing really well with it for the past year, but I just had a spike. It started a couple days ago while I was watching a video. There was a sexual scene and it was arousing, but I felt like the girl's reactions in the scene were making me more aroused than the boy's and that gave me anxiety cause than I thought that meant I was gay. Then I had the thought if I'm gay what will my family think will they hate me and that gave me anxiety. Then the anxiety over that thought gave me more anxiety because I read that only gay people have thoughts about rejection not people with HOCD. So I thought that meant I must be gay. I'm really depressed because I've been doing so well! I know I shouldn't look for reassurance but I need help getting over this bump on the road so that I can get back on track. Thank you!

[Sweetrose5]

I did say enough. I tried not to react to the thoughts and did my best to accept that maybe they were true, rather than fight them. I tried to let the thoughts go This helped a lot to the point where I didn't even notice the groinal responses. This past month I've been really stressed with work and school, but now I'm on break. My anxiety got worse once everything calmed down.

Thanks for your response!

[JGF25]

I want you to think back to this past year and when you were better.  What changed?  Did you finally say ENOUGH and just let the thought wash over you?  What did you end up doing to make it go away?  It is more than likely back because of stress.  Did something change recently in your life to make you more stressed?  

[Sweetrose5]

What gives me the most anxiety is that I fear I worry more about being rejected than I do the gay thoughts. Which gives me anxiety because I think this means I'm gay