Reassurance seeking will do that...you will feel better for like 5 seconds and then go right back to where you were before. So since you said "mum" I take it you are in Europe and have socialized medicine? If so, then I urge you to see your primary care doctor so that you can star the ball rolling as far as getting a psychology consult. Also he/she may be able to prescribe some klonopin to you so that you can get some relief from the thoughts for a bit. Also there are some good books out there that you can get...
Overcoming OCD by Christine Purdon
and
Self-Coaching by Joseph Luciani
Listen- This is VERY common. You are NOT the only person who experiences this. These types of thoughts are called "intrusive thoughts." They can make you feel so isolated and sad. It's important to reach out to a counselor/therapist so that you can sort out these thoughts. I'm not saying what your sexual orientation is, but a professional can definitely help you sort it all out. My family has many different forms of anxiety/ocd and I know what it's like to have thoughts that you just can't let go of. Once you seek help, you will learn how to combat these thoughts, that you may feel just aren't TRULY how you feel. Please seek help and don't be afraid of it!
Dude, there's nothing wrong with being nice to the same sex, that's just called having common/ or human decency. And there's nothing wrong with being gay/bi/straight (I am personally attracted to the personality that a person has, not their bod). The only thing that really matters, is that you can feel comfortable with yourself, regardless of your sexual orientation. You're sexuality doesn't define who you are as a person.
Good news! Good luck and remember to tell them everything. They can't fix what they don't know is broken.
Thank you, I noticed the more and more I keep searching for reassurance I get more thoughts arguing with me, telling me different things and I'm going to be seeing a therapist tomorrow who is going to be helping me
Hi there...you need to talk to your parents ASAP about your anxiety and thoughts. There is help in the form of a psychologist. Our brains are wired a bit differently and a psychologist can teach you how to deal with the thoughts (which are not real BTW) so that you can get control over them instead of them controlling you. Let me know how you are doing.