Tocophobia

[murphy_marley]

I'm 25 and I've never been pregnant, but I have some really deep rooted issues that I can't seem to get over about pregnancy. I've known my fiance for eleven years and this is the one thing I have had the hardest time talking to anyone about. When I stop and think about myself getting pregnant I get rage-filled towards males and, if I don't watch myself, I can slip into a crippling depression. I was told I have Tocophobia (the fear of being pregnant). I hear identifying the problem is the first step but I would love for someone else to help me with what to do next. I love my fiance and would one day love to make a family with him, but I can't even set a marriage date because I'm so horribly terrified of being pressured into having kids (even though I know he isn't like that and no one I know would be like that). I need help... please..

[PurellGirl]

I am SO glad things went that well for you! Please feel free to stop by anytime if you need any more support. :)

[murphy_marley]

After reading your message, I got up the courage to talk to him about it. I was extremely relieved to find that my fiance was entirely understanding. We talked for about five hours about it. :) He's all the therapy I need (and can afford!) Although I still have worries about the whole experience, having talked it through has made me realize how capable I am to deal with it. Not to mention reading into more about the whole process helped a lot. Thank you for your support :) I can't tell you how nice it feels to not be wholly afraid.

[PurellGirl]

First off, have you ever discussed these feelings with your fiance? If you haven't, I urge you to. I know it may be hard, but you've said you've him him for 11 years and you're getting married to him so you should be able to talk to him about anything.

Secondly, maybe you should consider seeing a therapist about these feelings. They can help you sort out what you are feeling and why.

Otherwise, you may never be able to get the help you deserve if you keep these feelings bottled up inside.

I hope everything gets better. :)