It just keeps getting worse...

[Tybear]

I went and got the results of my Ct scan today. I have 5-10 new small tumors on the inside of my stomach lining. the tumors I originally had have all grown, some by more than a centemeter, some by a little less than that. As suspected, I do have a tumor working it's way through my vaginal wall, which is why I'm having bleeding. And my right kidney is now moderatley backed up, along with my right ureter. Just for fun, I also have a bad, bad kidney infection on my left side, the one with the nephrostomy.
I asked my oncologist what to do when the surgeon says no to surgery (because I'm now, almost certain, he will) I just assumed I'd go back on Avastin and he told me not unless I want to risk bleeding to death. I guess because that one tumor is through my vaginal wall, if I do the avastin and it eats away the tumor, I'll be left with a hole that will just hemmorage. He is scheduling me to see a radiation oncologist in Toronto.
I'm so overwhelmed...I don't want to do this anymore. I've given up hoping things will go right for me because they never seem to and it's just to hard to deal with it when they don't. I'm trying so hard to act like nothings wrong because I hate seeing that look on my parents face, the one where their wondering if their daughter is going to die.
I feel like I'm stuck in a nightmare that I can't seem to wake up from.

[gma718]

Please know that I am praying for you and thinking about u often..keep fighting!!!! xoxo Gia

[silver&gold]

I too am sorry to hear about your results, its just so unfair ! . I am sending prayers your way .

Love Angie

[dawnlyn]

I am so sorry to hear this news.....I was so hoping as was everyone that you would be given some good news........I want you to know, that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers..Please know that we all love you and are hoping and praying for your miracle.......Love, Dawnlyn

[Burnzie]

Dear Becky,
I feel so bad for you that things never seem to stop.  You are a VERY STRONG person, but it is time to lean on the people that love you, like your parents.  It is time for them to be strong for you and you son.  You need to share the reality of the situation with them so they can digest it and turn around and give you support.  I hope that you get to see the radiation oncologist very soon.  Thinking of you.

Karen

[ladyjogger31]

I'm so sorry to hear this news. Your a tough girl and a fighter. Please know I'm praying for you. Keep that good positive attitude!!! We are all hear for you.I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
Hugs, Terry

[coogeegirl]

I really wish there was something to I could do to make it a little better for you. Please know that I am thinking of you and willing you to find the strength to go another round with this terrible beast.

I have had radiation as part of my treatment if I can help you at all with any questions please do not hesitate to let me know.

Hugs

Jenny