The ending of the battle

[Joyteam]

My mother, 76 years old, was diagnosed with ovca on Jan 20, 2009.  She has had nonstop chemo and as of the last 2 weeks, she was sent home with 24 hour hospice care because there is nothing more that can be done.  The family is at peace because she is home and receiving outstanding care from in-home caregiver and hospice visits regularly.  
We are seeing the slow progression to the end and we know that she is at peace, however, the pain is increasing and so is the morphine.  This morning she had 4 bouts of vomiting and basically it was bile because she isn't eating any foods and barely gets a full cup of fluids in each day.  Is it true that she probably is now experiencing this because of bowel obstructions?  Also, what else can we expect on this path to eternal peace?  Does respiratory failure have to come to this path as well?  We are very afraid to have to watch her gasp for air, but we were given the meds for drying it up before she actually passes.  I am thankful for each moment that we have had with her during her passing, and I am praying that we are all there with her when it's her final breath.  My mom touched the lives of thousands of people as an educator and she is the matriarch admired by all of us!  
Thank you for the previous posts that have eased some of my concerns too.  Blessings and peace to all!

[hopeshell]

I am so sorry to hear about your mom.   What a touching story of her passing.  I am glad she is no longer in pain, but am so sorry for your loss.   You and your family will be in my prayers.  

Shelly

[ireneo]

My husband is involved with hospice care and it's an amazing group of people (yes, my husband is too). One thing we've learned is that some people want to let go under their own terms. My Dad waited till we were gone till he passed. Some seem to feel more relaxed with family around. I don't know. In your case I think you're right - your mom wanted you to remember the talks you had with her, not the final moment. As for your son, he was there for her so she wasn't completely alone like my Dad and he could be there for her. Why him and not you?  Perhaps some day you will be able to ask that question. Please cling to the memories. They will carry you through.

[Jane39]

I am so sorry for the loss of your mom.  I know you are and your family are at peace, and bless your mom's soul for finally finding the peace she needed, where there is no pain.  She will be your Angel forever.

God Bless you and your family.

[gah_70]

Please accept my heartfelt sympathy on the passing of your mother. It sounds like she chose the time she was ready to go, and now she's at peace. I hope you and your family find peace and comfort as well.

We have a Remembrance page listed on our Health Pages (at the top right-hand side of this forum) where we list the names of those who have lost the battle. If you would like, send me her name and I will add her to it.

[Joyteam]

Thank you Shelly!  Unfortunately for us, but a blessing for mom, she passed on December 28th, two days after my post.  She was in control of the entire day, in a spiritual way.  She was very fussy and agitated on the 27th, so the doctor increased her meds.  The next day, the 28th, she was very quiet, mostly, and sleeping. My sister and I had been consistently at her bedside, but on this particular day, we decided to run some errands.  As soon as we left, my mom became extremely uncomfortable and even told the hospice nurse "I have got to get out of this bed!"  Of course she was not mobile, but she intended to leave the bed because she knew she was going on to eternal peace.  She looked my son in the eyes (he was her #1 fan and she was his) and released her last breath.  

As hard as that was for my sister and I to not be there for her at that moment, we realized she didn't want us to see her go.  Now, we just have to figure out why she gave that moment to my son.  He has a lot to bear now but he knows that he has to use it for good and for blessing someone else.

Now I just have to figure out how to live without my favorite person!

Happy New Year!

[hopeshell]

I am so sorry to hear about your mom.  This is an especially hard time of the year to be going through this final battle.  Depending on where your moms tumors are growing, her liver, stomach or colon may be to blame (or all three).  Hopefully, they will increase her morphine and they often give a tranquilizer to help her transition.   Every patient is different in how they progress through this process.  But, hospice is a wonderful organization and her nurse will be able to tell you her estimate of how much time is likely.  They can give you an idea of what to expect given her specific condition.  It sounds like she is a lovely lady who had a wonderful life.  It is so hard to lose those we love.  My thoughts and prayers are with your mom and family!

Shelly