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Need adivce
This has nothing to do with pain just life advice. You all are so smart so I'm coming to you for an opinion and advice if you can give it.
I've worked at my current company for almost 3 years. We are a manufacturing company and I handle all the orders for the US/Canada and do general office work. About 2 years ago we hired a new computer guy. Our company is small so we don't have titles. Well this guy thinks he's the best of the best. Has an ego bigger than Texas. And for what it's worth it's not warranted. Well I found out that he was changing his time card and adding hours that he was not working. He was also buying personal things with company money when he went to buy computer supplies for the company. This pisses me off to no end because I work hard for this company and he comes in and takes advantage right off the bat.
I went to my boss with all of this. She confronted him about the time clock issue and he denied it. She changed his hours to the times he was really working and never brought it up again. She did not confront him about him buying things for himself with company money. She just took it out of his paycheck without saying anything.
When this person started working here we were like best friends. Than a few months ago when I found this all out I stopped talking to him completely. He has not asked me why so that just goes to show he never cared about me. When I see him not coming to work (he's never worked 40 hours a week since he started) it just makes me so mad. I know he's still cheating his time cards and buying stuff with company money but nothing ever gets done about it so I don't say anything. Every time I see him I just get so filled with anger I want to scream. How can I get rid of those feelings? I don't even want to have any feelings towards him at all. I want him out of my life completely and it's come to the point where I want to leave the job I love. I've told my boss this and it doesn't seem to matter.
We are a small company and everyone is treated like family. So that means turning a blind eye when someone does something wrong because they do their job (barley in his case) and they hate letting people go here, it's almost impossible to get fired here. So how do I get rid of these angry feelings aside from leaving the company. It's driving me crazy. I work so hard here and I hate how he feels like he's better than everyone and thinks he can get away with stealing us!
I've worked at my current company for almost 3 years. We are a manufacturing company and I handle all the orders for the US/Canada and do general office work. About 2 years ago we hired a new computer guy. Our company is small so we don't have titles. Well this guy thinks he's the best of the best. Has an ego bigger than Texas. And for what it's worth it's not warranted. Well I found out that he was changing his time card and adding hours that he was not working. He was also buying personal things with company money when he went to buy computer supplies for the company. This pisses me off to no end because I work hard for this company and he comes in and takes advantage right off the bat.
I went to my boss with all of this. She confronted him about the time clock issue and he denied it. She changed his hours to the times he was really working and never brought it up again. She did not confront him about him buying things for himself with company money. She just took it out of his paycheck without saying anything.
When this person started working here we were like best friends. Than a few months ago when I found this all out I stopped talking to him completely. He has not asked me why so that just goes to show he never cared about me. When I see him not coming to work (he's never worked 40 hours a week since he started) it just makes me so mad. I know he's still cheating his time cards and buying stuff with company money but nothing ever gets done about it so I don't say anything. Every time I see him I just get so filled with anger I want to scream. How can I get rid of those feelings? I don't even want to have any feelings towards him at all. I want him out of my life completely and it's come to the point where I want to leave the job I love. I've told my boss this and it doesn't seem to matter.
We are a small company and everyone is treated like family. So that means turning a blind eye when someone does something wrong because they do their job (barley in his case) and they hate letting people go here, it's almost impossible to get fired here. So how do I get rid of these angry feelings aside from leaving the company. It's driving me crazy. I work so hard here and I hate how he feels like he's better than everyone and thinks he can get away with stealing us!
Best Answer
I really wish it were that easy. My boss is the company manager. The owner of the company is semi retired and he comes in once a week or so. He's the one that hired this guy so he's the only one that can fire him, and he knows nothing about all of this. My manager will not tell him because she thinks he fits in here and it's hard to find someone that fits it. It's so stupid.
They really don't let people go easy here. We had one guy that would drink on the job and come in high on meth. He was a machine operator so that was really really dangerous. We gave him years of chances to get his act straight and more second chances than anyone should get. We had another guy that would come to work high on pills and drunk. He had 911 called twice while at work and even after they gave him a blood test to confirm what he was on, they still gave him another chance. Eventually both of these people got let go but it took years for that to happen. The accountant also took the company credit card and charged up 4k worth of personal stuff. She hid the credit card statement to try and hide it. She got caught and had to pay it back but other than that she still has her job!
It's virtually impossible to get fired here sort of killing someone. Even then, who knows.
They really don't let people go easy here. We had one guy that would drink on the job and come in high on meth. He was a machine operator so that was really really dangerous. We gave him years of chances to get his act straight and more second chances than anyone should get. We had another guy that would come to work high on pills and drunk. He had 911 called twice while at work and even after they gave him a blood test to confirm what he was on, they still gave him another chance. Eventually both of these people got let go but it took years for that to happen. The accountant also took the company credit card and charged up 4k worth of personal stuff. She hid the credit card statement to try and hide it. She got caught and had to pay it back but other than that she still has her job!
It's virtually impossible to get fired here sort of killing someone. Even then, who knows.
Wow I want to work for this company!
I can only assume that while this is noble of them to want to give people more chances the company is not doing it's best. It is not putting out it's full potential. With so many things going on how can people get their work done properly. It sounds like a huge mess and the manager needs to be replaced. I can't believe the owner knows all this and is okay with it. After all the reason anyone goes into business is to make money and while the manager is babysitting the company is losing big money!
I am sorry your in such a terrible situation. I would never allow such things to go on. I am all about business but I do care about my employees who put 100% and then some in on the job.
There is one good thing about your job, it would take alot to get fired:)
I would try making it known to the guy that you all do not approve of his stealing and this is what he is doing. Stealing time is just like stealing an object, by putting down hours he hasn't worked he is stealing and the using the credit card for personal items is also and both is illegal.
Maybe he will move on if you all ignore him.
I can only assume that while this is noble of them to want to give people more chances the company is not doing it's best. It is not putting out it's full potential. With so many things going on how can people get their work done properly. It sounds like a huge mess and the manager needs to be replaced. I can't believe the owner knows all this and is okay with it. After all the reason anyone goes into business is to make money and while the manager is babysitting the company is losing big money!
I am sorry your in such a terrible situation. I would never allow such things to go on. I am all about business but I do care about my employees who put 100% and then some in on the job.
There is one good thing about your job, it would take alot to get fired:)
I would try making it known to the guy that you all do not approve of his stealing and this is what he is doing. Stealing time is just like stealing an object, by putting down hours he hasn't worked he is stealing and the using the credit card for personal items is also and both is illegal.
Maybe he will move on if you all ignore him.
I know it's so frustrating. This company is the most corrupt and backwards company I've ever worked for. The good part is it's really laid back but that's also the bad part. We've been in business since 1974 so something is working I guess. Plus about 95% of the employees have been here 20 years + including my manager who's been here longer than I've been alive!
I just want to know how to deal with the anger I have towards this jerk. I'm very non confrontational so I would never confront him about this. Plus I want to see if he comes to me first and asks me why I haven't been talking to him. I'd rather just be able to write him off completely but I still have this anger towards him. I try to tell myself that he's just a loser and he'll get his karma but that's not good enough. I want to see him fired.
There is a silver lining though. He got into a verbal argument with the owners girlfriend (who works here) and she told the owner. The owner already has this guy on his **** list because he thinks he doesn't do what he hired him to do (which is true) so he wants to fire him. But this new guy threatened to sue the company because of what she said to him (something involving a gun but I would bet money he made that part up) so the owner is scared if he fires him right now, he will sue. So I'm sure he will get fired but it might be a year from now. Or they might forget about the whole indecent and keep him on forever. At least he didn't come to work today so I can have a peaceful day
I just want to know how to deal with the anger I have towards this jerk. I'm very non confrontational so I would never confront him about this. Plus I want to see if he comes to me first and asks me why I haven't been talking to him. I'd rather just be able to write him off completely but I still have this anger towards him. I try to tell myself that he's just a loser and he'll get his karma but that's not good enough. I want to see him fired.
There is a silver lining though. He got into a verbal argument with the owners girlfriend (who works here) and she told the owner. The owner already has this guy on his **** list because he thinks he doesn't do what he hired him to do (which is true) so he wants to fire him. But this new guy threatened to sue the company because of what she said to him (something involving a gun but I would bet money he made that part up) so the owner is scared if he fires him right now, he will sue. So I'm sure he will get fired but it might be a year from now. Or they might forget about the whole indecent and keep him on forever. At least he didn't come to work today so I can have a peaceful day
Hi Kat,
Sweetie, that was a VERY big part of the story. About the threat to sue.
This puts you in a VERY bad place.
I think in this case you will either have to accept what's going on, after all, it is THEIR company or quit.
If I were you unless I have a job lined up that's as good as the one that you have, I would accept what's going on as if it were none of my business and just hang out with the employee's that you like. Just ignore him. Don't be rude just don't start any conversations that aren't about work where you HAVE to talk to him.
Bless your heart, I hope that you are able to handle this as this seems to be a well established company and in this day and age finding a solvent company that has made it thru the recession is VERY hard to do. You are very fortunate to have this job with this company.
How long have you been with this company? It sounds like you have been there for quite awhile. You have a difficult decision to make.
You might make up a list that lists on one side , the reasons to stay and on the other side the reasons to leave. Maybe seeing it in Black and White will help you to decide.
Just try to keep in mind that this guy is a REAL JERK!!
It sounds like the owner is an older person? Sometimes the older owners are VERY frightened when the word lawsuit is mentioned. They realize the amount of resources that it will take to fight a lawsuit.
It sounds like to me that the owner ALREADY knows what is going on (via his girlfriend). I don't really think that you need to stick your neck out anymore as it won't change any thing and it might bring things to a head that MIGHT cost you your job. I would STAY out of it.
I think you just need to make the choice of whether you can live with this or not.
Good luck!!! I'm REALLY sorry that you have found yourself in this position.
Please let us know how you are doing. I'm concerned about the stress that you are under coupled with your ongoing pain!!......Sherry
Sweetie, that was a VERY big part of the story. About the threat to sue.
This puts you in a VERY bad place.
I think in this case you will either have to accept what's going on, after all, it is THEIR company or quit.
If I were you unless I have a job lined up that's as good as the one that you have, I would accept what's going on as if it were none of my business and just hang out with the employee's that you like. Just ignore him. Don't be rude just don't start any conversations that aren't about work where you HAVE to talk to him.
Bless your heart, I hope that you are able to handle this as this seems to be a well established company and in this day and age finding a solvent company that has made it thru the recession is VERY hard to do. You are very fortunate to have this job with this company.
How long have you been with this company? It sounds like you have been there for quite awhile. You have a difficult decision to make.
You might make up a list that lists on one side , the reasons to stay and on the other side the reasons to leave. Maybe seeing it in Black and White will help you to decide.
Just try to keep in mind that this guy is a REAL JERK!!
It sounds like the owner is an older person? Sometimes the older owners are VERY frightened when the word lawsuit is mentioned. They realize the amount of resources that it will take to fight a lawsuit.
It sounds like to me that the owner ALREADY knows what is going on (via his girlfriend). I don't really think that you need to stick your neck out anymore as it won't change any thing and it might bring things to a head that MIGHT cost you your job. I would STAY out of it.
I think you just need to make the choice of whether you can live with this or not.
Good luck!!! I'm REALLY sorry that you have found yourself in this position.
Please let us know how you are doing. I'm concerned about the stress that you are under coupled with your ongoing pain!!......Sherry
I would never take the treat of being sued seriously as I am completely legitimate and do everything by the book ( the laws).
I would hope the owner sees this as an empty threat as it is. This guy is too lazy to do his work and steals from the company, not only do they have grounds to fire him legally this guy will not do the work it takes to sue! it takes an enormous amount of time and money and gumption to sue. it sounds like this guy has none except for maybe time but he sounds lazy and has no goals so it is just an empty threat.
As far as your anger just remember he will get what is coming to him, do not allow him to upset you as this is what gives him power over you.
Ignore him and do your work and leave him out of the picture:)
I would hope the owner sees this as an empty threat as it is. This guy is too lazy to do his work and steals from the company, not only do they have grounds to fire him legally this guy will not do the work it takes to sue! it takes an enormous amount of time and money and gumption to sue. it sounds like this guy has none except for maybe time but he sounds lazy and has no goals so it is just an empty threat.
As far as your anger just remember he will get what is coming to him, do not allow him to upset you as this is what gives him power over you.
Ignore him and do your work and leave him out of the picture:)
I've been here for almost 3 years. And the owner is older he's probably late 70's early 80's. I'm not going to quit because this is my territory and he's the new guy and he can quit! I don't talk to him besides when forced to for work related things. I just need to control the anger and not make comments when he's brought up in conversation. It also ***** because I really opened up to him, which I never ever do with anyone. And I feel like he's betrayed me. He's not the person I thought he was at all and I guess that's what hurts the most. He's lied to my face about things, without him knowing I knew he was lying, so that makes me think our hole friendship was a lie. This is the second time something like this has happened to me with friends. Hence the reason I have non.
I had a feeling that the owner was that old.
My Dad owned his own Business for over 40 years, and he was still at the helm when he died at the age of 86 years old.
A younger owner doesn't have the fears that an older one does. A younger one would laugh in this guys face and tell him where to go. My Dad had one guy that was like that and my Dad was PETRIFIED of him sueing!! It's the fact that all they see is that they could lose EVERYTHING that they have built. We tried to assure my Dad that it wouldn't happen but he still put up with the guy. FINALLY he did fire him and he WASN'T sued but it took more than 3 years to get him to do it!!! The older owners come from an ENTIRELY different outlook on life that we do (I'm including myself at 64 years of age) because we just don't put up with the threats that the Elder generation will.
I'm sorry , Sweetie, I hope taht this puts some perspective on it for you. Eventually , this guy will "GET HIS"!! Just hang in there!! It will just take a longer time than it should!!
Sending Good Thoughts and (((HUGS!!)))....Sherry
My Dad owned his own Business for over 40 years, and he was still at the helm when he died at the age of 86 years old.
A younger owner doesn't have the fears that an older one does. A younger one would laugh in this guys face and tell him where to go. My Dad had one guy that was like that and my Dad was PETRIFIED of him sueing!! It's the fact that all they see is that they could lose EVERYTHING that they have built. We tried to assure my Dad that it wouldn't happen but he still put up with the guy. FINALLY he did fire him and he WASN'T sued but it took more than 3 years to get him to do it!!! The older owners come from an ENTIRELY different outlook on life that we do (I'm including myself at 64 years of age) because we just don't put up with the threats that the Elder generation will.
I'm sorry , Sweetie, I hope taht this puts some perspective on it for you. Eventually , this guy will "GET HIS"!! Just hang in there!! It will just take a longer time than it should!!
Sending Good Thoughts and (((HUGS!!)))....Sherry
Yeah I know this guy wont sue. He's always complaining of money so he could not afford to hire and attorney. I believe in karma and he'll get his. I just need to calm down when I'm around him!
Sorry your going thru this, it has to be more pain on you. The best advice to give you is try to control the anger by thinking to yourself one day he will get what is coming to him, he will get busted and he will get fired. It might not even come to him in work but he will get his pay back somehow. I really hate when people do stuff like that. It is like they don't even care that they are costing the company money and when you love that company so much it has to hurt.
Hang in there he will get what is coming to him
Jamie
Hang in there he will get what is coming to him
Jamie
Well personally I think he's doing what he's doing because we wont give him a raise. We pay him about $25 an hour and he basically sits on his *** all day. He thinks that we are under paying him by at least $5 an hour. What a joke. My boyfriend is a water systems operator for the water district in our town. He is responsible for keeping the drinking water of a town of over 100k people safe and flowing as expected. He went to school for years to get his job. He makes about $26 an hour. There is no way this guy at my work does more to warrant $30 an hour. So he feels like if we are not going to pay him what he wants, than he's going to take it. He reminds us all the time how he took a huge pay cut to come work for us. I just want to tell him that if he was making so much money at his old job than he should go back.
During the time he was asking for a raise, I got a raise. I thought it was funny and took it as my personal victory. Especially since the boss told him no one was getting a raise. So maybe I'll think of that next time he's around me.
During the time he was asking for a raise, I got a raise. I thought it was funny and took it as my personal victory. Especially since the boss told him no one was getting a raise. So maybe I'll think of that next time he's around me.
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I have a couple business' and everyone who works there is family. When we have backyard barbecues or baby showers or birthdays then everyone is there. I would not allow someone to come in and disrupt the family atmosphere we have.
I would speak to everyone and if you all feel the same way then go to the boss and explain that this guy is not after the best interest of the company and that you all want her/him to be aware of his activities and how he is effecting the work atmosphere.
Any good employer knows that if you show your employees respect and treat them well they will work hard for the company and it sounds like the guy is causing work to become an unlikable atmosphere and that will bring down everyone and the work itself.
Also no one wants to work in a place where he is unliked everyday. if you all show him that you will not tolerate such behavior and ignore him he will move on eventually.