Aa
4 yr old waking up several times a night crying
my four year old son wakes up several times a night crying. hes screaming like he's in pain, but i cant find a single thing wrong with him. he is fine during the day and before he goes to sleep. he has no health issues, so i dont understand whats wrong. he has been doing this for about 6 months and always seems to wake up at the same time during the night. im thinking this is just maybe becoming a habit for him, and i would like to know how to break it. im losing a lot of sleep and so is my 10 yr daughter who sleeps in the next room. i have tried ignoring him, but he will just continue to scream untill i get in there to comfort him, and even that takes me a while to get him to settle down. i did notice a lot of times he will be scruntched up in a ball, and at first i thought he was having stomach issues, but i dont understand why only at night???
We've been having the same issues with our 4 year old for about 6 weeks. Your advice is spot-on and I appreciate it. We've been trying the same thing (door closing), but not right at bedtime....only when she comes out of her bedroom, which is sometimes several times a night. And we'd only close it for a bit.
I'm going to attempt the door closing right at bedtime and hope that it works succcesfully for us too.
So understand how hard it is to do that, but I guess we're teaching them to soothe themselves, and stop manipulating.
Thanks for your post...it's given me the courage to do the same!
I'm going to attempt the door closing right at bedtime and hope that it works succcesfully for us too.
So understand how hard it is to do that, but I guess we're teaching them to soothe themselves, and stop manipulating.
Thanks for your post...it's given me the courage to do the same!
Our son is 3.5 years old and was doing this too. He'd wake up 5-6 times a night crying and screaming and coming into our room each time if we didn't go to him. He was extremely overtired it was a vicious cycle. We finally had to make some major changes. We moved his bedtime an hour and a half earlier, put him down for naps earlier and then we did something that most parents shudder to hear. We turned his doorknob around and locked his bedroom door at nap and bedtime. After he fell asleep we'd unlock it for safety reasons, but he wouldn't know that.
Before we actually went that route we talked to our pediatrician. He also said it was a behavioral thing. He said that he'd had to do the same thing with one of his own kids. He told us to make sure the room was totally child proofed and he suggested using a babygate instead of locking the door. But since our son can open all those, it wasn't an option.
After the first two nights, he was sleeping straight through the night again and taking naps. After the first couple of nights, we didn't need to lock the door anymore. Just the idea it could be locked was enough to keep him in bed. I'm not sure why that made him sleep the whole night, I think maybe he knew he wasn't going to get any attention during the night and it made him stop waking himself up completely.
Over a month we were able to move his bedtime later by 45 minutes so he doesn't wake up super early in the morning. I'm sure I'll hear a lot of criticism for the choice we made, but it worked and he sleeps and acts so much better now, he's like a different child.
I will warn you, we've heard a lot of people, including my mother say that maybe we should have done something more first. But trust me, we tried everything--blackout shades, white noise, night lights, reward charts, incentives, all sorts of bedtime routines, long and short, everything people suggested we tried. It came down to this...Our son just needed to be left alone at night, as hard as that was for everyone at first. It was tough, I won't lie about that. Hearing him ask us to unlock the door was heartbreaking, it made me and my husband cry. But he's learned to go to sleep on his own again, and sleep through the night again. He's taking his naps and not fighting us about going to sleep.
I kept thinking it was a phase at first and he'd outgrow it. But after 6 months of the "phase", we were desperate for sleep. I think he'd still be doing it if we hadn't intervened.
I hope that helps you a little, whatever you decide to do.
Before we actually went that route we talked to our pediatrician. He also said it was a behavioral thing. He said that he'd had to do the same thing with one of his own kids. He told us to make sure the room was totally child proofed and he suggested using a babygate instead of locking the door. But since our son can open all those, it wasn't an option.
After the first two nights, he was sleeping straight through the night again and taking naps. After the first couple of nights, we didn't need to lock the door anymore. Just the idea it could be locked was enough to keep him in bed. I'm not sure why that made him sleep the whole night, I think maybe he knew he wasn't going to get any attention during the night and it made him stop waking himself up completely.
Over a month we were able to move his bedtime later by 45 minutes so he doesn't wake up super early in the morning. I'm sure I'll hear a lot of criticism for the choice we made, but it worked and he sleeps and acts so much better now, he's like a different child.
I will warn you, we've heard a lot of people, including my mother say that maybe we should have done something more first. But trust me, we tried everything--blackout shades, white noise, night lights, reward charts, incentives, all sorts of bedtime routines, long and short, everything people suggested we tried. It came down to this...Our son just needed to be left alone at night, as hard as that was for everyone at first. It was tough, I won't lie about that. Hearing him ask us to unlock the door was heartbreaking, it made me and my husband cry. But he's learned to go to sleep on his own again, and sleep through the night again. He's taking his naps and not fighting us about going to sleep.
I kept thinking it was a phase at first and he'd outgrow it. But after 6 months of the "phase", we were desperate for sleep. I think he'd still be doing it if we hadn't intervened.
I hope that helps you a little, whatever you decide to do.
1 Comments
Good for you. I see nothing wrong with your method. And it was clearly effective, so I don't see what the problem could possibly be. For thousands of years, humans didn't coddle their children and they had to learn to soothe and fend for themselves in many ways we can't even seem to fathom now. What you did is instill confidence in your child that he can meet some of his own needs. You were there, on the other side of that locked door, providing all the security he needed. And he knew that or he wouldn't have adjusted so quickly. There are a million ways to love and parent our children. We should be encouraging each other along our individual journeys rather than pretending there is some cut and dry method we should all be adhering to. And whatever our methods, we can implement it a hell of a lot better with a good night's sleep, huh?
I'm so frustrated. My 4 yr old 'wakes up' screaming and yelling several times a night. This has been going on for about 2 months. The dr thinks its behavioral and she'll grow out of it. We have done naps, early bedtimes, etc, but nothing seems to help. Does anybody have any suggestions or been thru this? If she will grow out of it, I hope it happens soon.
My son done the same thing. It was his Singular. He was having night terrors because of the medication. It took him around 2 months to work it out of his system once we took him off of the medicne.
My 4 year old daughter has been doing this also, she wakes up crying , but she wont talk to me or tell me what is wrong, or if she is in pain, nothing. And it takes me almost an hour it seems to calm her down and get back to sleep myself. It is stressful on me, cause I can't help her if she can't tell me. She speaks her mind any other time, but during these episodes she can not talk. Please help me.
My first guess would be night terrors. My doctor told us that it is very common for 3-5 year olds to go through a period of time of these.
Another possiblity is the growing pains. We only grow while we sleep so that is why the pains happen during the night. Our two year old is going through that. She will have a couple bad nights then be okay for a few.
Good luck and hang in there!
Another possiblity is the growing pains. We only grow while we sleep so that is why the pains happen during the night. Our two year old is going through that. She will have a couple bad nights then be okay for a few.
Good luck and hang in there!
You are reading content posted in the Parenting Toddlers (1-5) Community
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
6 essential foods for new moms (and their newborns!)
What to expect in your growing baby
Learn which foods aren't safe to eat when you're eating for two.
