Feelings of anger and jealousy after m/c

[Brittny27]

It's been 17 days since my m/c. Every time I see a pregnant women I get very angry. I wish so much that I was still pregnant and able to experience what that women is. Every time I see a new born baby I get very jealous knowing that I will not be welcoming my bundle of joy into this world.
Tonight at work a pregnant lady walked in to rent a room. (I work at a hotel) I barely made it through helping her with out tears. My eyes kept tearing up and making it hard for me to read the computer.  Of course I can't tell her why I'm about to burst into tears.  
I don't have any support my boyfriend broke up with me last week and I can't even get him to talk to me now.  I feel very alone with my feelings.  I'm glad that I have my second apt with a therapist today.  Hopefully talking with her will help.  I held on to the thought of possibly trying again in a few months when my dr said it was ok.  Now I feel completely hopeless.  
I feel like my friends are avoiding me because they just don't know what to say.  I don't want to be a burden on them and I feel as if all I can talk about is the loss of my baby and then I just pull the mood down and of course they don't want to be around someone that is sad and crying all the time.  

Did anyone else have these emotions after there m/c???  

I know that I'm still hormonal. I cried when I couldn't get the old toilet seat off my toilet to change it two days ago.  It took me over an hour to do.  I just got so angry at it!!

I've never been like this before. I'm always a very happy person.  

[Brittny27]

I'm looking for a local support group hopefully that will help.  

[Brittny27]

My therapist was no help today at all!  Sometimes I really wonder why I see her.  All she did was go on and on about how I need to find a good guy and not look for one in a bar which I don't do. I'm not stupid!  Guys in bars are there only to get laid.  NOT interested in that. She didn't even let me get a word in about how I was feeling.  She cut the session short by 20 minutes also.  I'm sure she's gonna bill me for an hour and a half although I was there for less than 40 minutes.
I'm looking for local  

[evthing4reason]

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel, I'm 27 too and lost my baby in Feb, I was 5 months. My 2 best friends are due at the same time i was, in the begining i was "strong" and didn't mind being around them, the further along i am having a harder time, i don't even want to look at them, but I WANT to be happy for them, i just hope i'm pregnant again before the have thier babies, i'm hoping that wil make it easier for me.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I understand completely what you mean by wanting this pregnancy.   Unfortunately nothing can be done, however, you can continue to heal and begin to fill the hole that this loss has left in your heart.  Piece by piece you will find things that begin to patch it up.  For me after my stillborn, it was becoming pregnant again that began the process..having my youngest daughter born healthy was the next, but it wasn't until my youngest, my son, was born that I felt the hole had been patched over enough that it wouldn't ache as often or as much.  My stillbirth was my first son and I think it took another son in order to help me heal to the point where I could begin to feel whole again.  I hope this makes sense and doesnt' just sound like me babbling.  

The hardest part I think is watching everyone around you and wondering why it was you that experienced loss.  It WILL get easier, but it takes time.

[Brittny27]

I'm 27 and this was my first pregnancy.  I've wanted kids my whole life. I remember when I was 16 walking through the baby section picking stuff out.  This pregnancy has made me realize I WANT kids even more than I EVER thought I did.  I'm just so upset all the time. I know that with time it will get easier but it just doesn't seem that way right now.  My boyfriend told me that I'm a strong person and I will get through this and I need to find the strength in myself because he doesn't have enough strength for the both of us.  I guess the break up is best with that.  

The thing that pisses me off the most is when people tell you "you can get pregnant again" I don't want another pregnancy I WANT THIS ONE!

Everyday I have to watch my TWO neighbors across the street as they start to show and progress with their pregnancy's and it's killing me.  

[richeygirl]

I'm sorry for ur loss; what you are going though is so normal but you have to keep the faith, I m/c in Jan. & I had an hard time for about 2 weeks & now I even think about it but I've healed from it & I know that I will get pregnant & have beautiful baby in the future.I hope the you get better & heal from ur loss. Best of luck!!!!!

[Leanna26]

I had the same feelings. I had 3 mc.... in the last 2 years... Ive been practically pregnant for most of that 2 years now. Im on my 4th pregnancy... this one has finally gone well. I am 30 weeks tomorrow.
It was very hard expecially when I lost twins. But you will get through it, it just takes some time. I didn't even talk to anyone for almost 2 weeks I was so upset.

[browneyedmama]

Im so sorry for your loss!! what you are feeling is completely normal. i suffered a miscarriage as well... and it took me a long time to get myself back together. i was depressed, and i didnt want to be around anyone. i blamed myself for what happened. when it was something that i had absolutely no control over. its good that you are talking to a therapist, and its really okay to cry. i know that its hard... but it will get easier, i promise. im here of you need to talk.

[Annie2008]

Oh yes sweetie, I know exactly what your going through.  I first off want to say that I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry you don't seem to have the support you need at home.  I suffered a missed m/c naturally in December and I felt the exact same way.  I had to go see my OB the next day after going to the ER to confirm that we were in fact going to lose our baby and I had to sit in the waiting room what felt like hours to me - watching all the couples going into their appointments, then coming back out with tears and happy faces after seeing and hearing their babies.  I was so angry and them for being pregnant and not knowing what I was going through.  My soon to be sister-in-law just had a baby as well, so being around my niece was hard as hell.  I kept thinking that it should have been me holding my new baby - it should be me complaining to the doctor about being uncomfortable - it should be me feeling the baby kick for the very first time.  It hurts, and it sucks.  It will get better - you just put one foot in front of the other and you just do it.  Let yourself feel the pain, I cried for weeks after - and I'm glad I did.  I had amazing support however - but we are here for you even if what you wanna type is about nothing, just getting it off your chest helps you to go forward.

I'm not sure how old you are - however even though you lost the one person in your life that should be there for you now holding onto you so tightly - you will find love again.  You will find love again and you will become pregnant again.  I'm sitting here a day late with AF, all the major signs of pregnancy and waiting til tomorrow morning to test again, and I could very well be pregnant - and that thought is amazing to me, scary, but amazing to me.  I never thought I'd be sitting here with this strong instinct every again in me that I think I'm pregnant.

It will happen, and if you ever want to chat please feel free to drop me a line.

[Mommy2be2]

I had a miscarriage last month, and seeing pregnant women and babies reminds me of my loss and makes me feel very sad.  I just found out that one of my co-workers is pregnant and her due date is the day after mine was.  I have to remind myself that I am happy for other people who are pregnant and have healthy babies.  I am trying to focus on the future, and that has really helped me get through this difficult time.  I remain hopeful that I will get pregnant again and have a healthy baby someday soon.  I know it is hard right now, but try to think positively.  I know this is a difficult time, probably one of the worst things we will ever experience, but life is not always going to be this hard.  I still have good days and bad days, and I feel like part of me has been taken away that I will never get back.  I hope you are able to cope and get through this.  Send me a message if you need to chat.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Honey, all of these emotions are VERY normal.  You have experienced an indescribable loss.  After my still born I resented all pregnant women and was jealous of them at the same time.  I actually lost a friend becuase my anger got the best of me and I told her what a pathetic parent she was and that it was people like her who should miscarry, not the ones who would make good parents.  I really don't regret that becuase she was a lousy mother...taught her daughter to cuss and all kinds of ****..and then got pregnant again..all that aside.  It's normal.  You just have to be careful that you don't take it too far.  I would strongly urge you to check around your area and find local womens clinics, not planned parenthood, ones that are more like ministries...call different churchs. Many of those places have support groups for women who have suffered loss during pregnancy.  It will help you a great deal to hear other womens stories and see that what you are experiencing is not unique.  It does NOT make it any less tragic, but will help you learn to cope.  Sharing with other women who've been there can be very theraputic.  

I personally have suffered 2 miscarriages and a full term stillborn.  People tell me constantly what a strong woman they think I am becuase I haven't cracked yet and becuase I'm able to talk about my experiences and share them with others.  That is MY form of therapy.  The more I talk about it, the easier it is for me and being able to use my losses as a way of helping others in that situation helps me a great deal.  It lets me know that my losses were NOT suffered without reason, they werent in vain...something helpful can come of it.  It is going to take you awhile to really come to terms with your loss.  I found in the days after my stillborn that writing poetry helped.  I also had a special teddy bear that was given to us by the funeral home...I slept with that bear tucked tightly in my arms for well over a year an to this day he still sits on my dresser watching over me as i sleep.  

I also try to focus more on the blessings I DO have...despite my 3 losses I have 3 beautiful, healthy children and another on the way.  I don't know if you have other children but I'm sure you have other blessings in your life.  

[Jame0223]

I know how you feel too. If I didn't miscarry in Sept I would be due this friday! I still think about my baby everyday. I would give ANYTHING to have it back...I wish I could get pregnant again asap too but my boyfriend wants to wait a couple more years...But I just would LOVE a baby...I don't have many friends...and I do have a friend that has a year old baby. She's the sweetest little girl but I couldn't be around her for a couple months after my miscarriage. I am still devastated about my loss...and I am sorry for yours...but it does get better. Its not something you will ever forget, but it will get easier to deal with. Seeing a therapist is probably a good thing. You never know if you're going to lash out because this loss seems to have really affected you. I don't blame you though. I feel for you and if you ever need to talk just message me hun! Good luck in your future!

[rachie204]

i know how you feel sweetie.  It has been 9 months since our miscarriage and I still feel that way sometimes.  It is very normal and you simply cant help it.  We just found out we are finally pregnant again but that doesn't take away the sadness I have for the baby we lost, I will forever miss that baby and wonder what it would have been like to hold him or her.  I can remember the feeling I had most after my miscarriage other than pure sadness was i was very embarassed.  I know it was not my fault but I feel like i had let everyone down.  I think it is wonderful that you are talking to someone about how you are feeling, and eventually the pain won't be quite as painful.  Let me know if you want to talk...feel free to private message me

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I am so sorry you are going through this.  I have never experienced a m/c, but I do have kids.  I know how much it would break my heart for it to happen.

I wish I had the right words.....but I don't think there really are any.  God has a plan for you.  He will give you a child.  And one day, you will see your little angel in heaven.

We are all here if you want to talk.

***HUGS***

[pat4rod]

1st I'm sorry for ur loss, but I know exactly how u feel. I'v had 2m/c one in Oct and one in March what makes it even harder is the the first one would have been due sometime next month, which is just killing me. But u have to keep ur head high and think that it will happen again. I wish u the best of luck and hope u get better soon


HUGS!!!!!