HELP ME!!!!

[TaraD13]

I just found out I'm pregnant probably about 5 weeks.  My fiance and I were going to get married next month, but we called it off because his mom doesn't like me and made a big fuss.  Ok the problem is she is very controlling I just got him to move out with me 1.5yr ago.  He lived with them til he was 29 and he is huge momma's boy hence not getting married without her approval.  Well the thing is his parents house is filthy, they have 3 dogs that aren't trained, they pee and poo where ever they want and it doesn't get cleaned at all.  They are hoarders and do not dust well there is too much to dust if they did.  There is a little path going from one room to the next mold and mildew growing everywhere.  His dad is a huge smoker and the walls are yellow and both of them don't work and are in and out of the hospital every week. Probably because of the condition of their house and breathing that.  They are very capable of taking care of them selves but are so doped up on RX meds they call my man to do everything for them.  Now she thinks she is going to have the baby all the time.... I DO NOT THINK IT IS SAFE TO HAVE AN INFANT IN THAT KIND OF HOME.   It smells of dog pee and mold and cigarettes and my boyfriend does not see it or say he smells it.  My biggest fear is I'm working and him taking the baby over there to see them.  Is it wrong of me to not want that or just to want them come to my immaculate house  to see the baby???? Is there even away to make it so they cannot have children in such a hazardous home like that????

[Cassandrajane]

My boyfriend sisters house is the same but without the Dogs. Its manky and makes me sick and she has a son and another on the way and she doesnt seem to care. my boyfriends brother is also having a baby and she is due any day now.... like in 2 days and she doesnt seem to be coming out. Anyways.... My boyfriends sister DEMANDED she had the her brothers baby EVERY Wednesday... Mickey (My boyfriends brothers girlfriend) said no and she kicked up a fuss, because she considers her house clean and tidy (She has cockroaches crawling around, and had the cheek to blame my boyfriend for them when he doesnt even live there) ANYWAYS.....

All you have to do Is say no. Like LosingMyMind said if you're not married when the baby is born you have ALL Custody rights when that baby is born because you are the mother, it doesnt matter if you and the father live together and are together. You're not married... so its basically yours. If that makes sense, even if his name is on the Birth Cert' but he would still need to go to court for Custody rights. My dad was going too but I chose to live with him when I was older. All because they wasnt married when I was born.. Cause I was at their wedding.... Funny story (The part where they ask is there anyone here present have any reason why these two should NOT be married, they changed it to... Is there anyone here apart from Cassie.. have any good reason why these two should no be married.. Cause I was a little monster) ANYWAYS....
Its your choice at the end of the day. My Partners Parents cant walk up the stairs properly and dont have a stair gate on the stairs and they already have a 2 yr old running around up and down (Stairs with NO carpet... Super slippy) and another 3 little ones on the way Now (my boyfriend sister got pregnant out of Jealousy she's wasnt getting attention) and my partner told them they are NOT having Our baby staying over or anything as much as she has their 2 yr old grandson atm.. I was like fairs....
If you dont want your baby going there put your foot down, they already came between your and your partner getting married, they aint taking control and putting their nose in over this. Thats not fair. Its time for you and your partner to do it, they have had their go TBH!! but reassure them they will have plenty of time to be grandparents... But not in their own house. And explain why you dont want your baby in their house...
They might also in a way respect you more for standing up for yourself and your baby, if they dont then TOUGH!!
It's your turn to bring up the life you and your partner have made, they have had their turn!

Good Luck... If it gets too much just tell them to F*** Off.

:)


x

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Being as you will most likely NOT be married when you give birth to your child that means that YOU will automatically have SOLE custody of the baby.  Your b/f will have to take you to court for rights to the child.  This means that YOU can determine when and where and who your child visits.  

Unless he changes his ways you are going to have to decide which is more important to you...Keeping HIM happy or keeping your child in a safe environment.  It may be best for you to put the child in daycare and instruct the daycare center that under no circumstances is he allowed to pick up the child without your WRITTEN approval first.  

If you want to LEGALLY prevent him from having the child at his parents home you are going to have a hard time.  It will involve a lawyer, court appearances, home visits to their house and a slew of other things.  


I can tell you from experience that when I was pregnnat with my first child my ex bf's STEP MOM insisted she would have my child every other weekend, that they were even going to make a special room for her.  Needless to say after the child was born and I put my foot down that NONE of them were going to see her unless it was supervised and they all got counseling...well it's been almost 14 years since I heard from them.  My point is that, as your pregnancy progress and after the baby is born, things may change.  Your bf may change some of his mommaboy ways when it finally sinks in that he is going to be responsible for another life.  Good luck!