Need a little advice

[Mariah_12052014]

I am 16 weeks today and I am having a little relationship trouble... or should I say alot. I moved away from family and friends to allow my bf to follow his dreams and be closer to his first child... which the paternity is very questionable and is most likley not his. It seems that I make all the sacrifices and he gets all of the rewards. It also seems like his first "daughter" is his main concern and never really worries about the future of our child. He is scared to get a dna test and the childs mother is a handful and is always bashing my name. Am I wrong for wanting him to get the test? I believe the situation is only going to get worse as she gets older beliving  he is her father. The childs mother threatens us and throws the daughter on us last min so she can go out and be with another man? I dont want my child growing up in this lie either being hurt or made to take a back seat to his not biologic sister, growing up thinking she is... I need advice bad!!!  

[2ndBabyDueFeb13th]

Nothing wrong with a dna test, but dont push it or stress over it, if he knows thats his kid, and if he feels thats his kid u dont want to be the one who always questions it and be the one making accusations if u dont know. Im sire if he didnt believe it was his child he would have never moved and wouldnt have stepped up in the first place. But If he decides to do one, great, just try not to be the one egging it on since That may cause issues with u, him, and the babys mother. When your child gets here, im sure he will be just as loving and as involved as he is with the child he has now. For now, he does have to focus on working and providing for both his kids. Theres only so much he can do while its in ur belly. Give him a chance when u have your child to be the father he is already trying to be now. Its not easy coming into a relationship with someone who has children, but there are some things you have to deal with and learn to accept when u make that choice.

[GigiBella]

Whether or not shes his, he shouldn't be putting your child on backburner.Its not a competition. He shouldn't allow the drama& manipulation of his ex to affect your household.  

I would probably move back home away from drama and get support from friends/ family.

You can always get a pharmacy DNA test just so YOU know for your peace of mind..

[julieeenewmum]

I don't think making him take a test is rite if he has a relationship with that little girl already & if it's not his it will I'm sure break his heart & most of all that little girls heart , your still early on in the pregnancy I'm sure once you get farther along find out what it is & start buying things he'll come around more but the baby's not here yet so I wouldn't say he's putting them in the back seat already & maybe he's just trying too spend some extra time with her now be cause he knows when your guyss baby comes it's going to change & he's not gonna have as much time for her he's a good man being there for that little girl

[GigiBella]

Probably shouldnt have moved from ur family just for that reason. definitely express your feelings/concerns about the long term affects on ur family if lil girl isnt his. but ultimately the decision for paternity test is up to him and mother. He obviously loves the little girl. Set rules about the last minute drop offs and exes behavior.  but do not try to interfere with the relationship between him and his "daughter".

Curious if he pays child support or is on birth certificate.
Money shouldn't be leaving your house to take care of a kid if its not his. He can still be there for her but bio dad needs to provide support.  

[jlynn7387]

I'd make him take the test for sure then go from there

[Mariah_12052014]

I agree with him allowing him to be there for the little girl. But should I keep allowing him to put my child on the back burner? Call me selfish but I only want the best for my child and to have there father not make them a priority bothers me. And yes he does need to set boundries but its not looking like that is going to happen to soon either.

[Ashbaby1990]

I think if he wants to be there for that lil girl.. I'd let him.. Even if it's not his.. If he treats her well.. Just imagine when your child comes how he will treat it.. Also sit him down and set bounders about this other lady taking your name out of context.. He needs to have a talk with her .. He can't allow her to talk down to u..