Not Ready :/

[Mushroombaby1]

I'm 23 and currently 22 weeks pregnant with a little boy. I have the most loving supportive partner in the world but I just don't know if I'm ready to be a mum.
I see others my age out drinking and partying attending festivals and feel as if I am missing out. Lots of my friends don't bother to talk to me anymore and I'm feeling really lonely.
Some days I feel so ready to be a parent when I see small children having fun with their parents but others I just don't know if I could cope and feel like I'm giving up a lot.  I want to be the best mum I can to my son. Has anyone else felt like this? Sorry for the essay x

[mommiKat]

@rockrose ^^^^ very true

[RockRose]

You just need to make new friends - friends with little babies.  The friends you have that you share your children with are the best friends you'll have in your life,  in my opinion,  and if you have a community of friends you will all still be friends after your kids are grown and out of the house.

When you are pregnant and have only friends who aren't,  you are in such a completely different place in life that you don't have much in common.  They'll want to do things on the spur of the moment with adults,  and you'll have a toddler in tow.  

Look around for pregnant women and make friends in babygym groups and things - you won't be alone long.

[mommiKat]

I understand how you're feeling. But I've came to realize a few things about that. If your friends don't talk to you anymore,  they probably weren't good friends anyway,  & you can do without them.  As far as missing out on drinking & partying that's not everything.  Just because u have a baby doesn't mean you still cant do those things in moderation. Being a parent is one of the most special ecperiences you can ever have on life. Maybe your friends are missing out wasting thier life in clubs and partying... just an idea. I had my first at 20, & this is my last & third at 23. A lot of times I feel like Ineed a drink lol but I never regret being a mom.  You have a supportive loving father for your kid, more than I can say about mine, so be grateful.  & enjoy this pregnancy. Motherhood is exciting & a gift. You can still have your drink & party every now & them with a baby sitter or family to watch them.  I just don't want you to feel down about being preggers. Trust me when you're baby is born your life will fill complete. :) best of luck to you

[crisram]

I promise you, when they lay your baby on your chest, when you hear it's first cry, you watch them take their first breath, you'll realize you're not missing out on anything. There is sooooo much more to life than friends and parties and drinking. Nothing is more fulfilling then seeing your child look at you with love in their eyes.. when your baby looks at you like you're God in the flesh, THAT'S the best part of life..

[bumpinbaby1995]

And they were never your friends from the beginning , I true friend would never do that. A lot of ppl don't know what a true friend is.

[bumpinbaby1995]

I'm 18 , married & pregnant and will be running a house soon (w. the help of my husband of course) but he will work most times, my hubby is 21 were young but we don't worry about the immature things , because we know that this is life and w. life comes responsibilities !!!, I love my baby already and I can't wait to be a mother, . Enough of me... You need to not care what others are doing , you can have fun but in different ways, smoking partying & drinking leads to trouble & other things. I really think you should sit back and get your properties in line Hun. It's "hard" but if you keep a good head , you'll get threw it.

[dlo012]

Just because we are young doesn't mean all our kids were an accident. We planned our little man for over a year and yes its scarier when it actually is happening. There is nothing wrong with being a little afraid. No one is ever 100% ready to have a baby. We all want to be what's best for our kids and I think that's what it really comes down to. Having a baby inside you is so different than once he's out and actually needs you constantly. It's ok to miss social life for a bit. I do think its selfish. I feel selfish thinking about all the things I can't do anymore but its ok. Not everyone handles change the same. And that is really ok.

[BabyandChey]

You can still have fun, just in a different way.

[Mushroombaby1]

We did think about it before we laid down and made a baby, just we tried for a while and now it's actually happening it's scary.
I am a trainee paramedic and my partner has a steady job so I'm not worried financially it's just that a lot of changes have to be made for when baby comes. It's scary and my 'friends' have upped and left so in the nicest way possible before you make a judgement know the full story.

[BrittPaige]

I not mean to make you all mad or what ever and this is my opinion if ur weren't ready and or had doubts u should have never had sex or should have used protection I was raised differently im 21 and have been living with my hubby sence I was 17 we made sure we had things figured out  befor we event talked about a baby I know things happen but this is the greatest gift u will ever received and I think u should be looking at what u gain we never party and we dont drank so I guess we don't miss it bc we never did it  wile everone we went to school with was acting stupid we were working liveing on our own and finished school early the summer I was suppose to walk with my high school class I was finished with tech school and we were buying our house by mid summer and we been working the same jobs so we know we have time to take off with our angel  idk I just hate to see people not be happy or regret or whatever there children u know how many people would love to have the chance you have sorry rant over

[shantel04]

Itll be ok. Im 24 and im gonna be having my 4th baby in October.  I dont miss all the partying because I see all my friends and people I kno dieing, getting murdered,  or killing themselves.  I would rather sit at home safe with my kids

[Liv96]

I'm nearly 18 and im 21 weeks i feel like this all the time like im growing up to fast and question if i'll be able to cope or if im too young but i think being a mum is more rewarding than going out clubbing and getting drunk like all my friends do, i have days when im excited and feel ready and hen i have days when i feel scared, i think as we get further along we'll warm to being a mum more, pregnancy hormones are what makes us feel down sometimes so shouldnt worry about it

[tamararae19]

I know how you feel. Im 23, currently 28 weeks along. I just miss hanging out with my friends, not the drinking or that. But its like since i told them all im pregnant they have dropped off the universe.

[dlo012]

I know exactly how you feel. I had my son two weeks ago and I felt that way on somedays of my pregnancy. For me I thought having my son would change all that but I still feel that way sometimes. Like I'm not ready. Not to mention you really get no sleep once hes born. It has gotten better now. My husband has always been supportive and my mom has been a huge help. It helps to have those closest to you around. But it is a lot of work and it feels as if you're responsible for most of it. I'm sorry this doesn't sound so positive. I just wish I would've been prepared for what was coming ahead. But I'm happy he's here now. It's just a lot of hardwork. In sorry you feel this way. Talk to your partner as much ad you can and spend as much alone time together as you can because once the baby comes all you'll want to do is sleep. Also talk to your drs. They can be extremely supportive as well. Good luck!

[kats999]

I totally understand You, Im 23 and I already have daugther but sometimes I have many doubts if Im ready for second baby, well one thing I can say is that much more comes when baby is finally out. Im with you :) we are still young, right? :)