So mad right now!

[achewitt]

Two days ago I called my mom to vent about bills because my husband will be off work for 2 weeks for the holidays and they just told him this week and of course its when all the big important bills come out. So basically I called to just vent about it to get it off my chest and first thing she tells me is she can't ******* help me and I need to quit asking her for money cuz she's about to get laid off and can't afford anything herself...well funny thing about that is I never once asked her for anything. In that whole entire conversation I never asked her for her money all I did was call to vent. Well the day after that she posted stuff on facebook that she went to the shooting range and I was like ok whatever I don't care. Well the next day my grandma told me how my mom bought a shotgun($200), and 2 pistols(each $150) but yet she can't help me. And to top things off whenever my husband and I moved we got insurance thru his company and now I'm paying the deductible for my pregnancy. I asked her then for help and she agreed but then when it came time she bailed. So I had to ask my grandma who is on a fixed income to help me pay some of it because I couldn't afford it alone (monthly payments of $400) and of course December is coming up and so is the $400 but my mom "couldn't afford to help us" but she can afford guns which would have paid more than half my doc bill for December! I'm so disgusted with her right now. That was the breaking point for me. She was never there for me as a child my grandma raised me and yet for some reason I thought things had changed and she would be here for me now. The money isn't even for me its for the health of my baby...her first grandchild! I'm just going to lay low for a while and avoid talking to her because I have nothing nice to say to her right now...

[achewitt]

Yea I'm just going to give it time. I don't need the stress nor do I have the time for it. My husband always tells me we need to worry about our lil family now and not everyone else and he's right. We have a baby to prepare for so we need to focus on that and not other people. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories with me. In a way I'm glad I'm not the only one but then again I'm sorry yall have to go thru it as well. It's definitely no fun lol.

[searra]

Some relationships are to toxic to keep around thats y my mom and I dont talk anymore. I couldnt keep being her shouldet to cry on and the stress was overbearing. Now im alot happier cuz I just dont have to put up with anything my mom is extremly judge mental . She tryed to kill herself in front of me when I was younger she grabed a shotgun and told me it was my fault locked herself and locked herself in her room. I Called the police and she was sent to a mental hospital. U might need to pull away alittle but not all  the way cuz u can tell u love her.

[achewitt]

We have asked but his mom practically did the same. A pool was more important to her and his dad helps with what little he can. The rest of his family+his mom hates me so yea...my mom has always put a man and material things before me. She didn't even show up to my high school graduation because she went to work out of the country to get away from all of us and to get divorced. I was so upset that she would do and say something like that to me. My mom has let certain things happen to me because she didn't want to lose her man. Now she's jealous of my life because I have a husband who doesn't beat me or put me down and being able to have a family. She can't have anymore children because after me she got a cheap abortion and it messed her up.

[searra]

Can your hubbies family help you out? My mother is alot like that. But I would never ask her for help. Growing up my mother fliped from man to man and had a drug addiction. She always acted like a teenager and got really excited when I brought friends around. I hated having the cool mom cuz a kid really would rathet have someone to depend on. When I got preggo with my third child my hubbie and I feel on our but and needed somewere to live. She said we could stay with here and said dont worry about nothing just get on your feet. Next week later she wanted 100 aweek we were also bringing in over 600 in food my hubbie was getting her beer and weed because she would go crazy if she wasnt high.we even told her they were going to repo our car because we were paying to much, she didnt care and they took our car.and of course my  hubbie couldnt work so she gave us 2weeks 2 leave after trying to fist fight me infront of my children and being preggo. We went to stay with my hubbies sis and she would call for back rent for the two weeks we couldnt pay. I was so mad I yelled at her and told her she was a bad mom so she sad"ok well your kids insurance is still coming to my house so im claiming them. I thought she was lying but she did she took a couple of thousand of dollars from my chidren. that was over three years ago and I never talked to her since it was to toxic. She is still broke and stuggling and my husband now is making over 6 figures we got cars cash our own house and grandchildren shes never met. God is good and works in all kinds of ways.

[achewitt]

Yea my mom blames me for her not having a childhood because she got pregnant with me at a young age. Anytime I try to have an adult conversation with her she just gets defensive and tries to make everything mine or someone else's fault. I love her to death but I just wish she would be more of a mom and not try to be my friend. We get into a fight and the next day she acts like nothing ever happened or that she hurt my feelings. She's the kind of person that will continue to kick you when you're down. My husband had to make her back off of me one time because she got mad that I didn't feel like cooking everyone dinner while I was sick. I didn't plan on completely cutting her out of my life. I just need a break from her because I'm at my boiling point with her. She knows that I need help with my doc bills but a gun was more important to her. My grandma is the only one helping us. I'm claiming it all come income tax because I found out recently we could so I'm giving it all back to my grandma but its just the thought. And I totally agree with you, JKrodgers, I shouldn't have expectations because I do always end up hurt. We are definitely in the same boat when it comes to them being oblivious to it. It's always someone else's fault or they completely deny everything. It's extremely hurtful because you hope that things will change but they just prove that it will never happen. I should be used to this by now. And crstl11 she does need to grow up. Not offended one bit haha. I never had my biological father in my life and so far I haven't had my mom either. I would understand if she was always there and this was the one time she couldn't help but she's never helped me and always puts me down.

[Caitlin1830]

I couldn't even imgaine being pregnant and living in the States. Just terrible.

[Jkrodgers]

My mom is flaky like that too and completely oblivious too it, so when I talk to her about it she's doesn't see where I'm comin from but it's hurtful when they say they will help and then don't. I just love her for who she is but don't expect anything g from her, same as you would a child. If you don't have expectations then you don't get hurt. And don't worry about your medical bills :) I've been there too and I promise they won't repossess the baby so make your monthly bills first. Hang in there!!

[crstl11]

I understand u being upset....I wouldn't ask her for a thing and tell her how u feel sounds like she needs to grow up...no offense

[achewitt]

I would understand if this was the first time she's done this but its not. And I don't qualify for Medicaid already tried. My grandma raised me and my mom didn't help then either and u definitely don't tell someone you will be there to help them with anything then turn your back on them. My whole life she's put men and material things before me. I can understand why it seems like I'm over reacting but there's a lot more to the story that I didn't out because its a lil too personal and I don't want that kind of attention. It's not so much as the money its the fact that she knows I need help and my husband is working his *** off to make sure we have a home for the baby and that all our bills get paid. My grandma raised me from birth because my mom didn't want to and she's told me that.

[mrsnelson2010]

I agree. I understand why your mad hun but dont let money be the reason you stop talking to her! It is messed up that she would do something like that, but perhaps she wanted to do something for her before she had no income. There is nothing worth not talking to your parents over in my opinion. I did it..i stopped talking to my dad when i was 17. My sister told me he didnt want anything to do with me so i spent 4 years and never said a word to him never saw him nothing...and he passed away on october 14th of this year. If i had known it was coming i would have at least called..but its because of situations like mine that i now believe its not worth it!

Be mad at her if you would like, just remember that you could wake up one morning and she could be gone and it could be too late to make amends.

[crstl11]

I'm 33 weeks and found out last month that I owed my doc $989.00 because our insurance only covers 90% and a 450.00 deductible and my dad had just recently got some money and I asked him if he could help and he told me it was my hubbys place...I understand 100% why he says that so I didn't really get upset. They can't deny service because of a bill just make payments on it. Me and my hubby are paying $100.00 per visit to pay it off and they said we didn't even have to pay that much that they would just bill it to us. Don't worry too much about it.

[Danbri]

Maybe you should apply for Medicaid.  Times are rough for everyone and maybe your mother wanted to use a little "fun" money on herself before she gets laid off?  Don't let money get in between something like this.  Things will work out!