Young moms, am I crazy??

[Leobaby2013]

Just wondering if any young moms out there feel the same, but I don't want my mom doing things to help. I'm 20 and my mom keeps talking about things like picking out the babies spoon (tradition I guess?) and the crib and things. It's it horrible that I don't want her too? I feel like she's trying to take my baby. She had two of her own who are both grown and i feel like its my turn now. I want to pick the spoon. And the rattle. And the crib.
She's also going I help care for the baby when I have to go back to work,but I don't want her too. I'm afraid my mom will be he one who sees all the babies firsts. Or my baby will bond better with her.

Do any other young moms, or moms period have these thoughts or fears???! Am I crazy?

I don't want to feel like I need to be jealous of my own mother.

[Mama2B_Again]

You're definately not crazy. I had my 1st at 21 and my mom changed nearly all diapers until I put my foot down. She did not leave the house for 4 weeks after I had my daughter, and would get up in the night to change her, and even went as far as to take my breast out of my nightie and put it in baby's mouth. Yes, that bad. Her last 2 babies died (my sister of SIDS, my brother from birth-related complications), so I understood her desire to "mother" my baby. But I gently reminded her I was mom, she was grandma. Then she started buying stuff instead. While my mom went overboard, I think most grandmas-to-be are just excited and want to help. And as long as they're willing to help, just remember it's because they love you and grandbaby. :)

[Leobaby2013]

Thanks to everyone for your replies. I love that she wants to help. I just wish I knew how to tell her when I feel like she's stepping on my toes. I'm sure your all right and she's just excited. Sometimes I just feel as tho I want to do things on my own and figure it out. But at the same time If I didn't have her I wouldn't have anyone.

I'll just have to give it some time to sink in for her and hopefully she'll calm down a little.

Thanks again ladies. Glad I'm not crazy.

[Kalex0071]

Omg my mom helps me with everything im a only child and these are my first kids and she's just as excited and scared as i am because I was adopted and she never really carried a child so it's so good that we share our experience together that's probably what your mom wants too.

[KTowne]

I agree with seawork, as overwhelming as it is for you, it's a grandchild for her, and she's excited, be grateful that she is! My mother is excited of course, but my MIL could care less half of the time.. it really hurts my husband. Or you see the women that don't have mothers or aren't close and wish they could have an overbearing mother butting in, I think hormones get the best of us, but try to remember how lucky you are to have a helpful mom that wants to be involved.

[AMARISMOMMY]

I'LL B 20 TUESDAY . I FEEL THE SAME WAY! IHAD TO STOP WORKING N MOVE BACK HOME ! ***** ..MY MOMS IS ALREADY TAKING OVER . IKINDA DNT WANT HER AROUND WEN I'M IN LABOR LOL

[yourstruly21]

Sounds exactly like my mother in law

[Seawork]

I can understand where you are coming from but it sounds like she is just excited for you and wants to help you out. The baby will love you as their mom and they will definitly know you are the mom so don't worry about that. They fact is every mother is bound to miss a few firsts if you have work or school our something else to worry about but its not the end of the world because you'll still be their mother.
If you are having trouble letting your mom do stuff then just talk to her about how important it is to you make those decisions but maybe also include her opinion?
I wish my mom wanted to be more involved but she just had twins of her own and she doesn't like that I'm starting my own family so young. Just be thankful your mom is there for you.

[jessicaann21]

My mom is like that, I am very grateful that she's so helpful cause I don't know how I would do it without her but she goes overboard and I'm worried she's going to try and be the parent and I don't want that.

[Chatybaby]

My mom is like that in a way, I'm 23. She tries to be controlling about the whole pregnancy. She told me I shouldn't get the epidural because she didnt, but I have a disease that gets worse with stress so I am getting it to prevent a big flare up. She wanted to have all her friends at my baby shower, people I dont even know. I tried to be very certain with everything I told her... like this is what her name is, this is what we are doing for this. Not allowing her to change plans. I have reminded her that this is my child not hers. It is hard but moms frequently overstep boundaries especially since we are still their baby girl in their eyes.

[searra]

I wish I had a mom

[kimisup]

I'm the exact opposite I wish my mom were like that. She doesn't wanna help with anything