The Father of My Child

[Cara1433]

I'm 7 weeks with my first child, this will be my boyfriends third. I'm 22 and he's 34. Tonight we talked and he wants be to have an abortion and I told him absolutely not.  All he could say after was that I'm immature and don't know what I'm getting myself into and that his kids and ex wife are going to be mad as well as his parents.  I feel like the only feelings he hasn't considered are mine.  I'm very upset to say the least.  In my view he's a grown man who has moved on with his life since his divorce, and his ex wife very rarely let's him even talk to him children unless he gives her extra money. He's a stand up man who's very responsible which is why I am so confused.  We've talked about having children before and he said that now isn't the time while this wasn't in my plans either I already love our baby as it is the best parts of us . I told him I'm having the baby regardless with or without him and he has nothing to say once again. Is anyone else in this situation. I hope with time he will see what a blessing this is but if not I know we'll be fine. Just wanted some words of wisdom from those who are or have gone through this

[rosealie23]

Tell him to shove it. I would tell everyone in the world including his x just to spite him...

[Cara1433]

Hahaha I've already though about telling them l myself I even have his ex wife's number. And him and I have a traditional relationship not because he's some. Over bearing ****. But. Just because I like a man to be a man so I think he's shocked that for once I'm making a decision that we didn't make together oh well hell have to just deal with that. I think his controlling diminor comes from him be a marine core officer he's used to ordering me around.  Well I'm not a marine I'm the mother of his child and he needs to understand that

[Cara1433]

Hahaha I've already though about telling them l myself I even have his ex wife's number. And him and I have a traditional relationship not because he's some. Over bearing ****. But. Just because I like a man to be a man so I think he's shocked that for once I'm making a decision that we didn't make together oh well hell have to just deal with that. I think his controlling diminor comes from him be a marine core officer he's used to ordering me around.  Well I'm not a marine I'm the mother of his child and he needs to understand that

[luxah]

He sounds slightly controlling. First he wants you to abort the baby, because what will other people think? You are both adults, does it matter? Then its, oh don't tell anyone. Its your choice all around no matter what.  If you wanna tell the world then tell the world, if you wanna keep the baby then keep the baby. Its all your choice, and you seem ready now, so don't let him try to sway you if this is what you want. You'll have rough days, and those are the days he'll make you second guess yourself. But there are good days, and with those you can assert yourself and keep to what you want to do. He doesn't have to carry the baby, nor be there at all. But, if you so wish to, you can get him for child support and he will have to pay that. And him trying to put blame on you, when it takes two to tango and get something out of it, is not fair and immature. Good luck, and do what is best for you. Not ex or his parents. Who knows, they could be very happy with having another grand baby. (And I would personally tell themjust to **** him off, but thats me).

[viveledaisy]

My baby daddy and me are in the same situation but he also has my sister pregnant.

[Cara1433]

Thanks so much ladies we talked. Again today briefly and he said how could you let this happen and he's completely right I mean I was on birth control and got myself pregnant cause apparently that's how this works. If men don't want children then they should take more responsibility in preventing it I did my parent by taking birth control he's. The only exception who didn't pull out or wear protection not me.  And he told me not to tell anyone about the situation which is when I said well actually there's an entire community of pregnant women who think your a complete and total immune tool.  Haha he didn't have anything going to say after that.  

[iLovekjoy2]

He's 34 and worried about how his parents are going to feel?! He's too old to be acting like that and his ex-wife's feelings are irrelevant! I hate when guys act as if they weren't a part of the process. If you want your baby, keep it! Don't let anyone talk you into anything that you really don't want to do!

[jessica_blue]

Omg!  All of u answered so well!  If u ned more encouragment then read em over! !! Theyre good and the only truth! !!! Men dont carry the babies in them so they x have the feelings we moms get when we become nauseous n sick n hormonal. .. And they dont know that this feeling that we get is pure love for our unborn despite all the pain n mushiness  it causes! !!!  We just tend to love it even more when we get sicker!  Lol!  Thats who we R! Proud mammas! !!!

[Jr23861]

Don't let anyone tell you not to have your baby its ur baby.  If he doesn't want to be a part of the baby's life then you and ur baby deserve much better. I don't belive any baby is a mistake Weather the baby was planned or not. This being said I would stick with your feelings and tell him how u feel.

[rosealie23]

Someone is immature alright but he is wrong about who it is. He is divorced so his ex wife's feelings mean nothing when it comes to talks like together and he is a grown man well at least he is post to be....why would he care so much about what his parents think about it... keep your baby because that is the mature thing to do... I guarantee I have more kid a then him and I am still married... I know more..and apparently you do to.... tell him he is being a child and you are to immature to be his parent to so he needs to grow up.

[ohalie]

I want to start off by saying he's the immature one and very inconsiderate of you. He doesn't want to upset other people? Because why? He doesn't wanna get bitched out? His fault. He should've been more mature when making a baby with you. You're being very responsible and mature to take care of a baby with or without him, even though it wasn't planned. So he's dumb lol

But words of encouragement: my boyfriend was so scared at first that he was open to me getting an abortion. Even though he knew I'm against abortion. It took a few weeks of arguing and crying, when he finally realized he would lose me if he made me get an abortion. I frankly, wouldn't feel the same about anything after ending an innocent life. So he realized, it's my body and my decision and he thought of my feelings first. Now he's so excited to be a dad. It was actually when my baby turned a blueberry lol that he started coming around. So there is hope, and if your guy really loves you, hopefully he can change his mind. Good luck! Sorry so long

[Maximusss_]

dont let him push you into doing anything if you want this baby you have it!!and for the ex wife to be mad, whats it got to do with her? she doesnt even need to know! if he chooses to leave you because your keeping the baby then he isnt worth the time or day! you need to think of yourself in this situation being stressed out is not good for you or your baby!stick to your guns and good luck x