Aa
The devil wears pampers...
My mother in law and I have never seen eye to eye. She was the very last person to find out that my husband and I were getting married, and she tried to call the wedding off. She invited 300+ people to our wedding when it was supposed to be imidiate family only, and she went and bought a cheap cake to feed them. I have tried my hardest to be kind to her. Then I found out I am pregnant. She wouldn't answer my phone calls, and wouldn't let me come see her, so I told her through a text. Her reaction?" How far along are you?" I told her roughly 6 weeks. She said "oh, I thought you were pregnant before you got married". I'm trying to keep her involved by telling her stuff and inviting her over. She is acting like my child (and her son's) will be the spawn of Satan! What should I do? Should I give her a cold shoulder? Or keep killing her with kindness?
Too weird...my FIL is awesome too...he totally loves me and the whole situation...he has come to me several times and said "dont pay attention to her...i dont know what her prob is"...talking about my MIL of course...its just crazy...i can promise i wont be THAT MIL!! Oh yeah...at the hosp...during delivery...i told the nurses at the desk...absolutely no visitors during delivery...i told them i would let them know when i was allowing visitors...so we had no issues :)
My mother inlaw is crazy plain and simply I tried killing her with kindness as well it doesn't work and she took advantage the only time she would have my daughter is if I would go and dropped her which I didn't mind but I don't have a car so I would have to take 3 trains and walk more than a mile to her house and back again just to get home and it was just because she didn't want to drive to pick her up she didn't come to her 1st 2nd or 3rd birthday and the end all of that was boiling inside of me I didn't understand why did I have to do all the work for my hubby's bday she got into one of her moods and tried to fight me mind u she is 40 years old I'm 23 and I don't act that way anyways since then I haven't had any contact with her neither has my husband or daughter now I'm pregnant with bby 2 and I didn't tell her and I don't plan in involving her with the pregnancy or my children I feel I'm to old for this drama and its unneeded thank God so far my hubby understands that its not me and I didn't intend for any of this ..my daughter is not missing out she is my princess has 3 grandmas that love and will do anything for her...just my experience not saying that u will go through the same but sometimes you just have to walk away be happy enjoy your pregnancy and if she wants to be involved she has ur number you don't have to do all the work she has to put in work as well if she wants a relationship if not then that's ok as long as u have ur hubby and children happy
monster in laws.. monster in laws...what we gonna do bout them cant ever have them happy..mines is jus the same i try to stay away from her as much as i can but still buds in however she can it used to b worse back then but now that her son dont really pay much attention its a lil better but still theres sum things that he needs to address since thats his mom but he wont, hell jus let it b n thats the only thing that gets me, i think if she keeps on getting on my nerves im jus gonna have to tell her her things..lol what is she gonna do?...b mad?.. o well shes been a witch all the time ne ways :D
The last thing you need is stress in your life. You stress the baby stresses and baby doesn't need that right now. Let your husband maintain the relationship with your monster-in-law and when she is around just be as fake as fake can be. Your not a doormat!
That is interesting since most women don't want men in the room with them. As for the MIL, I haven't talked to mine in quite some time. We got into an argument between me her and my husband over stupid stuff and now the two of them won't speak. I fear her showing up when I have my precious little boy in less then a month and I don't want her there. It probably won't hurt if you back off from her and leave her alone for a while. Either she will come around or she won't. But don't let it bother you from enjoying your pregnancy. My stepdaughter no longer sees my MIL and I won't be letting my son see her either if that's how she wants to be. Good luck!
If you do, just blame it on the hormones...I think I'm going to start off labor with a disclaimer, I'm sorry if I cuss you out, I don't mean it. :D
Thank you so much, this has been driving me crazy and now that I even just vented i feel better. I'm also a little worried about how my FiL will act on Delievery day. My husband and I each picked one person to be in the room with us, mine is my sister, his is his dad. Surprisingly enough, his dad loves me. He grew up a lot like I did, and I think he finds comfort in the fact that his son could look past that and marry me. He is so nice. But he is also a little... Well take this for example; on Christmas he got a new camera. With it, he took a picture of my toes. He said "if I make a slide show, and add music, this would make a toe jam!". He's a wise cracker. So I'm afraid I may snap at him while pushing a baby out through my nahnah if he makes a joke... Any advise there?
Be courteous, and brief, and go about your day. There's a difference between being polite to people in your life and ignoring people...the second is likely to add drama to your life. Since I doubt you want that and she is the grandmother of your child and your husband's mother (which means she's in your life no matter what) just go with basic courtesy.
I come from a HUGE family where there's always drama going on...I swear it's like a lifelong episode of survivor sometimes lol...and I've learned the best way to be happy and stress-free in the middle of it is just to smile and be polite, keep my thoughts to myself, and go about my merry way. :)
I come from a HUGE family where there's always drama going on...I swear it's like a lifelong episode of survivor sometimes lol...and I've learned the best way to be happy and stress-free in the middle of it is just to smile and be polite, keep my thoughts to myself, and go about my merry way. :)
Yeah, it makes sense that she would want to be in control. My husband was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when he was 9, and he is only 18 now. She thinks he should live his life in a shell, and he thinks that he should see the world while he can. It's crazy. She has always disliked me, even from the day that I met her. In fact, the first time I met her it was after church and she told me my hair was too wild for church and that my skirt was too short. I was appalled.
After I posted this, she invited us over for dinner. We went, mostly because his sister and dad are gone to Seattle, and so she was alone. I asked her if she wanted us to give the car we had been using back to her when we got one that is baby safe. You would have thought I had told her that god didnt exist and that I was God. She was so mad! We drive an 87 bronco that she paid (I'm serious) $2 for. It only has 2 doors, and the seat in the back has lap belts that have to be chained to the back door because they were added. I am not going to strap my baby in that! She told me it would be fine, and then asked me how I would pay a car payment on a new car. She tells me constantly that I am bad with money, and yet she has banks calling her house 24/7 about loans she got when she was 25. She works 3 jobs. Two of them are at the only grocery store here in town, so seeing her scowl at me and whisper to her old lady friends is inevitable. Do I ignore her there too? Or just be courteous?
After I posted this, she invited us over for dinner. We went, mostly because his sister and dad are gone to Seattle, and so she was alone. I asked her if she wanted us to give the car we had been using back to her when we got one that is baby safe. You would have thought I had told her that god didnt exist and that I was God. She was so mad! We drive an 87 bronco that she paid (I'm serious) $2 for. It only has 2 doors, and the seat in the back has lap belts that have to be chained to the back door because they were added. I am not going to strap my baby in that! She told me it would be fine, and then asked me how I would pay a car payment on a new car. She tells me constantly that I am bad with money, and yet she has banks calling her house 24/7 about loans she got when she was 25. She works 3 jobs. Two of them are at the only grocery store here in town, so seeing her scowl at me and whisper to her old lady friends is inevitable. Do I ignore her there too? Or just be courteous?
Yeah...im in the same boat and the killing with kindness didnt work...it actually made her worse...i have backed off...dont initiate contact but i am always polite and respectful when i do have contact. Its her loss...my MIL doesnt come around now that i stopped playing into her negative drama...its hurtful that she doesnt see or even make an effort to see our daughter...but thats on her and the fact that the negativity is gone...so much better for my hubby and daughter...sorry your dealing with this too...i too think its jealousy and the fact that these women are control freaks and they feel like they have lost control of their sons...kinda sickening in a way. you would think they want their children to be happy...
I agree with letting her be. She is the loser in this. You may want to read a book called Boundaries or Boundaries in Marriage. The marriage one addresses parent/in-law issues. Both books help you establish healthy boundaries with people.
I agree, if there's something to be said, it should probably be said by your husband...it's probably easier and less stressful if you just laid low and forgot about her. It sounds like she's not knocking on your door, so unless she does something specific and you find the need to address it directly, I just wouldn't worry about her anymore.
I agree with MamaBear. Keep it open so that she can be involved when she wants or is ready. That way you don't ruin any relationship that she and your husband have but keep a distance so she doesn't get into your relationship and ruin things.
Negativity can do awful things to people. Tell her straight up that you don't like her negative attitude...actually your husband should be the one to deal with her. It's not your responsibility to deal with his mother.
Negativity can do awful things to people. Tell her straight up that you don't like her negative attitude...actually your husband should be the one to deal with her. It's not your responsibility to deal with his mother.
I wouldn't ignore her, but I'd back off. If she's interested in knowing, she knows how to contact you. Invite her to the baby shower and maybe send ultrasound pics through your husband, but otherwise that's about all the responsibility you have to her. It sounds like she's stressing you out, and you should just focus on being happy and people who are happy for you.
I think you should keep her away from you and your family if your husband don't mind....
She sounds jealous....
She will ruin your marriage if you let her...
Good luck x
She sounds jealous....
She will ruin your marriage if you let her...
Good luck x
Let her b she will come around focus on the baby and a healthy pregnancy gud luck and best wishes
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