I'm so upset!!!! (VENT)

[gillianl]

I do not 100% believe in pregnancy symptoms, every month for 3 years i have had to suffer breast tenderness, nausea, bloating, increased hunger, brown discharge, constantly need the loo etc and it all leads to a big fat BFN.

From reading the above you will know that i am pretty upset and i am, i'm crying my eyes out while typing this, i remeber a verse from the bible "go forth and multiply"  how are you supposed to do that when your body won't allow it due to problems.  Every month when AF arrives it feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest, yes a lot of people will say "but your only young, you've got plenty of time"  by the time i get IVF i'll be almost 29 years old yes still young but i'd have loved 3 kids by the time i was 30 now i'll be lucky to have 1

I know i sound selfish and miserable but i don't know if i can take any more of this ttc and feeling this way every month when AF arrives this month it arrived CD23 i normally have a 26-28day cycle.

what can i do to get my mind of off ttc?  i don't want to talk to my partner about it as it only upsets him when he see's me like this i just don't know who to turn to anymore or how to stop feeling so hurt when AF arrives

[gillianl]

thanx for the input i have been trying but i cramp when im ovulating so this is harder to ignore when your ttc as all i think about is i cant miss ttc when i feel the craamps, i'm feelin a bit ill today and AF hasnt started fully yet just brown discharge yet again, il just have to wait and see what the future holds

[cherylsangel]

I think the easiest way to concieve is by not trying. Every month it becomes a let down when you put all your strength into ttc. If you are able to just forget that your ttc and have fun with your partner you might eventually get you BFP, and you wouldn't have been so concerned every month about getting that BFN that you would be that much more excited since you weren't trying anyway! I only say this because that is what happened with my partner and I. We weren't trying at all, just BD because we wanted to and low and behold I got my BFP and I hadn't even thought for one minute that I could have, it was a very exciting unplanned but incredibly welcomed pregnancy! So basically in short term, its when your not trying that it comes!

[gillianl]

thanks guys im a bit better today but i need to get a grip i can't keep lettin it get me down

[SantanL]

I feel your pain.  I concur with you, talking with your partner does not always help.  I second Ashlene's idea.
Pick up a hobby, keep yourself busy.  try not to think about it.  
Know that it is not your fault, you are just playing your role set forth by HIM. Let things happen when they want.  , after all, there is nothing we can do to change HIS will :-)

Hugs

[CA25]

Girl I have one thing to say.... God can do the IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

[minilady]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I think in times like this we need to put our faith in our Heavenly Father, and make sure we are physically and mentally healthy so we can be 100% prepared for those things which he desires for us. He knows whats best for us and sometimes we go through things to teach us lessons, so we can learn and grow. Try to be positive and remember you are never alone.

lots of love to you xxxxx

[Raerae336]

I'm very very sorry to hear what you are going through. i can't imagine the frustration. The only words I can tell you that may or may not bring comfort is that you are definately not alone in this. there are many women in your situation who maybe can support you too. Another thing That might be helpful to think about is yes you are young and you caught this early rather Than Later. i think you need to, Let go and Let God. Research your options. Have you ever thought about adoption? This isn't the end for you just the begining.. When you finally do get your bundle of joy no matter how you get her/him you will appreciate her that much more and look back at this time of struggle and realize it was all so worth it. Hang in there the best you can and if You ever need to talk, I'll listen!

[rbohl01]

I am so sorry. TTC is so difficult. I have more of an opposite problem. We conceived quickly twice and lost our pregnancies both times. I am in the same boat. I want to stop thinking about TTC but tis really hard. We are just gonna stop trying for awhile. I really need to think of other things besides babies constantly. If you ever need someone to talk to message me. I'd be happy to be a part of your venting =)

[gillianl]

Thanks very much, i thought i was coping but it's hit me hard this month, again thanks ever so much for the support and i hope things are going well with yourself

[Ashelen]

I don't have any advice but I wanted to say how much my heart breaks knowing what you're going through right now...every time I see you get a BFN I hurt with you (i know it's nothing compared to what you're going through, but I know how much you want this and I want you to have it).

All I can say is maybe try to pick up a hobby that takes a lot of time...or one that's physical and puts you in the sun to naturally raise your melatonin and help elevate your mood....

I'm so sorry you're hurting, I'm angry for you that this keeps happening to you. One day you're gonna come on here with a BFP and omg party like this site has never seen before. Try to keep the hope, even though I know it seems impossible.