hitting/spanking

[kmommy2b]

This isnt much of a pregnancy question but im familiar with many people on here and id like to hear what you ladies think. my bfs daughter came over today and shes two and a half. she talks pretty good and she said "daddy joe smacked my butt" he waited till i got to the house to see if the guy left a mark. instead of asking her questions she walked right up to me and told me (his daughter and i are really close). So i checked her butt and she had a HUGE hand print across her butt from her step dad hitting her. this guy is about 6'3 and 250 lbs and shes about 3 ft tall and 20 something pounds. She said "joe was mad and mommy cried.. joe found my shoes and hurt me" this just broke my heart. her mother said she had no idea he even hit her because shr wasnt there when it happened?? btw this fuy got arrested last year for assault and harassment and she said she was geting a protection order for her and the kids but she never did. we filed a police report and now my bf wants to go back to court to modify for more custody.
I know a lot of people smack or spank their kids but personally i dont think its right. esp if its not ur kid u shouldnt be puttin ur hands on the kid. If she needed to be diciplined, couldnt her own mother do it instead of her husband? and why is he doing it when no one is around? i gave her a bath about 5 hours after it happened and theres a huge welt the shape of his hand on her behind. im so pissed off about it even tho its not my daughter, but i treat her like she is and id never hit her! any input on this situation?

[kaylaloree]

I'm not sure how restraining orders work but I know that if your bf believes his daughter is in a dangerous situation he can call a lawyer and either get custody or put a restraining order against that guy. Him not even being the father should never lay a hand on her. If it was my kid I'd murder him. The cops won't do much sadly but call a lawyer and ask what his legal rights are to keep the little girl away from her moms bf. And that she's being abused you will have rights. So sorry you have to go through this. That guy needs his nuts chopped off for hurting an innocent little girl

[cayleebutterfly27]

Take photos and call your local social services department, also ask to speak to the police supervisor or chief, if you report a crime, they are legally obligated to investigate considering it involves a minor, take her to er and complain of butt pain, show them the welt, they are also legally obligated to report abuse to child services.

[kmommy2b]

Can my bf put a restraining order on the guy for his daughter if her mother has primary custody and lives with the guy? the cops say the investigation wont do much but waste resources ( which i think is ********) and that they are too understaffed to even perform routine investigations about it. when we called the police they never returned a call or came out to the house, then when we went to the station they said dispatch never recieved our call? which was a lie because we had a dispatchers id number to confirm we did

[kaylaloree]

Cps won't do crap. Ive gone to them with physica.   Evidence over my sister in laws kids and they don't do anything! They say they "investigate" but all they do is send someone for a house check ten days after the incident. And my sister in laws house is disgustingly dirty and has dog pee and poop everywhere and they still do nothing. I'm so sorry to hear he did this. Is there a way you could set up a nanny cam or something for visual proof? Sadly that's what it takes these days. Even calling the cops does nothing. You can put a restraining order against him so he can't go near the child. Bt other than that you'd have to take it to court. I hope your situation improves and thank you for helping the little girl, what a horrible man he is

[mrsdelacruz]

I know here in Oregon if you leave a mark that lasts longer that 5 min its abuse and you will go to jail so like everyone else said call CPS have them come out or even take her to the er for the welt something will get done that way but I wouldn't let her return till that guys gone and you have a good reason not to

[vro1991]

I would call the police station back and ask them if there is someone there that can file EPOs and restraining orders and then see if they can do anything. Then i would call CPS they should have an emergency on call person. I would take pics today as well and through out the weekend with them time stamped so you have evidence of just how bad it is. Then i would contact a lawyer monday morning at 8 am and get them to file paperwork for full custody and have the mom do supervised visitation until she leaves that man.

[BabyTurnip]

Theres a light spanking to hurt there pride and then theres a full spank to leaves a mark...and at that point i wouldnt even consider that a spank thats a hit! My parents would spank us....it never hurt! It was a light hand tap that would really just hurt our pride. I think her dad is doing the right thing. Obviously the mom isnt doing her job in protecting that little girl and its her dads job to protect her. I hope he goes and gets the custody changes he wants. I understand why it breaks your heart and its really sad knowing that a lot of children go threw that and they dont always have a person like you to care for them or a dad or mom that would care enough to do anything.

[Lilseamonkey]

That is just wrong. I'm against spanking at,all even though I get mad enough to do it sometimes I restrain myself because it's not doing them any good, I was never spanked, but I was always a goody good lol your bf should def file for more if not full custody. That man has no right to be putting his hands on her.

[Tay9662]

What about child abuse hotline?  Or social services??  Both would seek immediate action, and no if your bf goes to his place of residence and hits him your bf could be thrown in jail.. although if you got him to come to your house,the other Guy could be arrested if u pressed charges .. just no public place (both would be arrested) or the guys house.

[mommabear27]

There is nothing wrong with spanking your own child if he is naughty but you have no power to hit children who aren't yours. In the UK you can smack your children with an open hand on their rear but you can't leave marks. For it to linger that long it must have been a forceful hit, i would take photographic evidence and report it to your social service because its cabuse x

[maybay]

Call cps also. Tell see what they say. Its not right for marks like that.

[kmommy2b]

We took pictures and went to the police station and the cops basically blew us off.. still and its the next morning and she still has the mark on her behind. its reported but they said they cant arrest him.. bs! my bf is ready to go give a beatdown but that wont do much would it?

[Beckyboo6023]

That man needs beat! With a bat so he know how it feels! My brother back handed my son once and I about murdered him, he said he didn't mean to but don't matter to me, no one touches my child. I do spank him when he's bad, but I first ask him why he is getting a spanking, and then tell him how many he will get (usually 3 taps) so he understands what he did is wrong. But outright beating a kid? Makes my blood boil.

[Tay9662]

I believe some children need spankings, but I don't think it's right to hit them hard enough to leave a welp! I don't believe in using belts.. I was whooped with switches and only got what I deserved, but he should have never put his hands on her, she is 2 what could she have possibly been doing ? Talking ? Crying ? I mean what happens next him shoving her and her breaking her arm or somethin.. Your bf should def go for custody if the mom is going to let her bf treat her and her kids bad she doesn't deserve them

[Ariel_21]

Make sue you take pictures so when he do go to court he has proof. And etc. that's sad my daughter seen my baby's father push me down one time and for a while she use to say daddy hit you mommy and you cry. It just breaks my heart. I promised her she will never see mommy get hurt like that again. It's to much for a kid.

[Desi1121]

Take pics of her butt and the print just in case. You can.use it in.court

[tomorrow264]

I know in the state of Minnesota you are allowed to spank open handed on the rear but if you leave a mark it is then called child abuse and reportable to CPS.

[babywhalen2]

Theres a difference between spanking and hittng...this guy obviously doesnt know the difference. Its NEVER ok to leave a mark on a child. And to spank in anger is just not good parenting...adults are so much bigger, its to easy to cross the line when your upset. Definitely take whatever strps you can to ensure this guy is no longer allowed in a position of authority with her.

[chickenlittle13]

I was abused as a child and a teen so im against spankin a child myself but im not against my fiance doing it if need be. he doesnt lose his temper so im not afraid of him doin it to her. we know that there will be 2 different parenting styles between us but im not goin to get mad at him tapping her on the butt hard enough to get his point across.  i just personally cant do it bc the experiences i went thru.

[Emmarie2]

Omg that's not right at all! I do believe in spanking. But it should NEVER be out of anger and it shouldn't be hard enough to leave a mark. But since she has a mark 5 hours later from it, I totally understand why your pissed!

[val_mommy2b]

Spanking a child if the child has done wrong is not a bad thing but doing it just b/c is wrong me personally I wouldn't have left him alone with my child(ren) especially my daughter if he has been arrested idc what it was for or if we are married better safe than sorry but that's just me but yo bf is right to file a report

[actright]

Wow my husband isn't the father of my two boys and when they do something wrong he tells me so I can discipline. I'm proud of that little girl for speaking up a lot of kids don't due to fear. That idiot should be arrested and some body should  kick he's butt.

[Dlacey]

Nobody should put their hands on a child thats not theirs

[Dlacey]

I wish I knew what to say but I dont you did the right thing by filing a report though