Aa
house problems
I'm 16 and 27 weeks pregnant. Because of my young age, I still live at home with my mom. I'm at my boyfriend's house everyday and Im there most of the time. Things at my house aren't right and I want to live with my boyfriend and his family. Both his parents have tooken great care of me and they have been supportive the whole way. My family on the other hand aren't. When I told my mom and dad I was pregnant it caused alot of problems; my dad and I got into a huge fight and he ended up moving out and didnt speak to me for five whole months, he blames my mom for me being pregnant. My mom and me have a pretty close relationship but when it come to the baby she isn't so supportive either. She hardly ever buys water or anything healthy that a pregnant women should be eating and drinking. I also have three cats and since im pregnant, I can't take care of them and their litter box, my mom never tells my brothers to clean up after the cats and half the time my house smells like their litter. My room is really tiny and cluttered, I have a little heater in my room that my boyfriend gave to me so if it wasn't for him I'd be freezing up here. There is no room for a baby. This is also my parents first grandchild and neither one of them have bought my baby anything, not even an outfit. My boyfriend's parents have bought all of our furniture and baby stuff and its all at his house. My mom expects me to take it all out of his house and bring it here because she says me and the baby aren't leaving and we will be living with her. She has been no help to me and the baby so far and i dont think its right. I dont want to live here and I don't know what to do.
I understand that my mom works long hours and dont have alot of time for things at home; I also understand that its not her fault I became pregnant. But no matter what age, I will always need my mother's support and help. She goes to the grocery store and buys all this junk food for my brothers and her excuse for me is because im always at my boyfriends. His mom has literally took me shopping with her and had me bring what she bought me to my house because my mom wouldn't buy it. I have tried talking to my mom about healthier food and water but she just acts like its nothing. The same thing with the cats, no they are not harmful at all and they are sweethearts but i cant get her or my brothers to realize that the liter and the odor is not good for my child! If I complain to my brothers about the cats, my mom will tell me to shutup. So I spend my days at my boyfriends since I feel unimportant to my family. My mom refuses to watch Karson (we've already talked about it) while im at school he will be with my boyfriends mom. My mom told me that even on her days off of work she dont want to watch the baby. It hurts because thats her grandson, her first! You would think she would want some time with him. I would never make her "raise" my son or just throw him to her all the time, im excited about being a mom and a mom is what ill be. Im staying in school and im going to make sure that i have a job later. I refuse to quit school and go work at some fast food restaurant just because im 16 and pregnant I want a good future for me and him both and Im not giving up like that. It would just be nice to have my mothers support but at least my boyfriends parents are having a better attitude. Things could be worse. I dont want to just up and leave my mom because even though all of this is bothering me, I keep quiet and get along with her. We have a great relationship besides all of this and I guess thats why im so hurt. I do plan on moving in with my boyfriend but I'd like to do it in a way that me and mom mom are still on good terms, if that's possible. I will talk to her soon and pray that it goes well and pray that she understands that I'm just trying to grow up and do the right thing for Karson because he comes first for now on.
About the whole KY law thing, if you go in front of the judge with your boyfriends parents and proof of pregnancy etc, a lot of times the judge will emancipate you and/or allow you to get married. Call your local courthouse or a lawyer and ask them what can be done and what paperwork you all will need. I'm NOT saying run off and get married at 16, but it would make things easier on y'all being able to move you and baby in to his house etc. And honestly if she has your wic card you need to call the health department or wherever you go for wic and tell them you lost your card, they will give you a new card and you can have someone else pick it up if you can't.
Also I noticed someone concerned about the baby living with cats. Cats are not dangerous around babies. I mean, I wouldn't let any pet lay too close to my baby's face or if your animal is aggressive I would take precautions or rehome the pet. But a normal cat? No lol I'm more concerned about baby getting into the litter box. Baby gates it is!
Your mother isn't going to change. This is something that is better to realize now than later. I'm telling you from experience. :( My mother is a manipulative ***** a lot of the time. I moved out at 20 years old and now it looks like at 21 my boyfriend and I may be moving in with her temporarily. We lost our house to sudden electrical problems and gas leak. It's better than the alternative. But this crap about your mom shouldnt have to provide for you? Don't buy it. You're a minor and you're her child. I understand your mother expecting you to step up with new things and care for your baby when it comes. She shouldn't have to do ALL the chores because you're pregnant. But if she or your brother can't get off their *** and change the cat box because you medically cannot? That's selfish and lazy of THEM, not you. Your job is to go to school. For your FUTURE. For your BABY'S future. I don't even LIVE with my mom right now and she buys healthy food in her house for when I come over. It is not that hard to buy a filtered water bottle for you (you may even get one for yourself if you can, I LOVE mine) and meals, not just potato chips and cupcakes. She's making zero effort which in my opinion doesn't make her a very good mother at all if she can't at the very least accept that you're pregnant and buy food that is healthy for her own child. When baby comes, then focus on maybe a part time job after school for diapers and such. But she can't expect you to go to school, work, AND take care of babu full time. Someone has to watch baby while you go to school and work. And in my opinion it shouldn't be her. As long as you're not freeloading and being lazy and you are an active parent when you are home, do not let anyone convince you that you are a bad mom. Soooooo many moms work full time and come home to their bundle of love. This is no different. <3
All that being said, I would talk to your boyfriend's parents about moving in full time. They offer the support you need that your mother can't bother to give you, and will probably help arrange the move so you don't have to face your mom by yourself. :)
This isn't about you. This is about your baby. And your baby needs a mom on a healthy diet, as little stress as possible, and a house not filled with cat urine lol. Making this decision is not to hurt your mom or anyone else involved. It's for your baby, and you are a brave mommy. :)
All that being said, I would talk to your boyfriend's parents about moving in full time. They offer the support you need that your mother can't bother to give you, and will probably help arrange the move so you don't have to face your mom by yourself. :)
This isn't about you. This is about your baby. And your baby needs a mom on a healthy diet, as little stress as possible, and a house not filled with cat urine lol. Making this decision is not to hurt your mom or anyone else involved. It's for your baby, and you are a brave mommy. :)
Talking to your mum may be the best idea she will still be upset my mum took a few months to come to terms with my pregnancy I didnt even tell her I was pregnant I got my nannan to do it because I was scared but once I started talking to her she came round to the idea and couldn't be happier she knew that for me I needed to move out as I wanted to be independent I didn't want to have to rely on her when I had someone relying on me she was a tad upset when I moved out but now shes come to terms with it she loves the idea that ive got my own home we were never close but now she lives it I can tell her absolutely anything we've become best friends my boyfriend is 23 so his family were over the moon they tried yo become too involved and thats not what I want I want to fetch my child up how I want I get paid for looking after other peoples children as I work in a school so there is no reason why I can't decide what's best for my child moving out is the best thing I could have done my advice to you is to talk to your mum as whatever worries you have for your child she has the same for you as youare still her baby ttake time to think about what you really want do you want to live in your boyfriend house with his parents rules and them telling you how to fetch up your child why dint you live at yours half of the week and his half of the week as staying in one place under someone elses roof can be quite chlostraphobic
That's really nice to hear as alot of guys aren't there for their kids, maybe if u do move to ur bfs then do something with just u n ur Mum to show ur appreciation, spa day or something!? I actually think for a young lady u seem to have ur head screwed on. Ul figure it all out and it will all work out because it always does! X
Thanks for the advice! And I agree that I need to talk to my mom before just trying to leave. She deserves more than that because she tries her best. My boyfriend is looking for a job and I hope he will have one soon because he's a hard worker and an all around great guy.
I think u need t sit down n tlk t ur Mum! Tell her how u feel! I think it's very important to be comfortable where u r wen u raise ur baby, I moved in with my partner and his parents when pregnant with my first, and yes like with any parents there was disagreements but I know if I still lived with my parents it would have been alot harder, due to, like urself, a lack of support, I.don't regret ne of it and I don't think u should either, if they will accept u I would go for it, just make sure u involve ur Mum alot and for ur bf to find a job asap, which I imagine he would want ne way, I believe that u want to grow up, u just need to bite the bullet n do what u gotta do! Hope this helps hun. Good luck x
Thank you for the advice! Those words really helped and you are completely right! (:
That's my point. I'm trying to grow up! Im trying to be on my own, me and him can't just go and get our own place, we are underage for that! We can get job and save up for a home after we both graduate from school but until then I have to live with either them or here and his place is more suitable. Im not trying to just leave my mom but i agree, its time for me to grow up and I have no problem doing that for my son. But I cant grow up when I have someone holding me back from what needs to be done. These things just cant be ignored because if im not happy here then how can I expect my kid to be happy here? I love my mom and I know she works her butt off for us but I need her support right now if she wants me here so bad. We aren't poor or nothing like that and I have a nice home, i just hate feeling like she dont really care that she's about to be a grandma. I feel like we aren't wanted here and I would like to feel wanted, but then she tells me I cant leave. I'm trying to grow up, thats the whole reason for my post.
I believe that anything can be accomplished no matter what age you are the key is you've got to give it your all and not give up. Things are going to be hard and situations will test you but that's for everyone. People aren't very nice to young women when pregnant I don't know what or why it is but don't let no one bring you down. As for your mom not being there if she's been like that priority to being pregnant I wouldn't hold my breath on change but you never know. Get your WIC card from your mom and go get the things you need and have your BF and or his parents help you with nutrition since they're good to you anyways. Everything is entirely up to you now you've made your grown decisions so it's time to start working on how your going to do everything. I've learned not to depend on anyone so that I'm not disappointed because people will let you down. Take charge hun and do what's best for you and that Lil baby . Best wishes
Ur age doesnt mean anything in terms of u being a mom but im pretty sure this is a hard thing for ur mom especially since ur dad moved out its alot tor her to deal with alone n with ur younger brothers and working the things ur talkn about would be nice if ur mom made them clean up the cats liter boxes n if she bought things but its really not something she has to do or that u shud feel entitled to trust me i kno what ur going thru so i can feel for u but i also understand my life shudnt effect everyone else's as far as u moving in with ur bf i wudnt hun baby changes things n ne relationship n movin in is a big step his parents sound supportive and thats great but they will ultimately look out for their son in the end n if anything happens not saying it will but if it does family is family and ur mom will always be there just something to consider i can understand y she wants u home ur her daughter no matter the age give ur mom some time sit n talk to her n be open try in work it out instead of just fleeing i kno i wud want my daughter to stay n talk to me n try n wurk things out it wud hurt me to the core if my daughter i raised n struggled for just up n left id feel beyrayed n as a mom now u can just imagine if ur little one were to do that n how much it wud hurt
Nobody thinks bad of you because your pregnant at 16 but because you are pregnant you have chosen to look after a life and with that responsibility becomes getting a house, a job, being able to provide for your baby and its the same for your boyfriend too he has just as much responsibility to look after the child as you, if the cats are a problem then you really do need to get rid of them as if you are still going to live with your mum when the baby is born cats can be dangerous around them. Im a young mother im 18 im over 8 months pregnant buut me and my boyfriend have moved into our own house both have jobs and can afford anything we need for ourselfs and our child we wasnt planning to move in together so soon but thats the decision we had to make when we chose to be responsible for a life people arnt slating you theyre just saying you are not a child anymore you are an adult which is responsible for a child you need to make your own decision now not be looked after by your mum by choosing to keep this child you chose to become grown up and independent
I know being a mom isn't going to be easy all the time but I have faith in myself and my boyfriend that we will be great. I dont regret being pregnant at a young age and I wont regret it. Im not some reckless teenager and I'm not a ***** or anything either. I've been with my boyfriend for a long time and I bet me and him have one of the best relationship then most couples our age. We took each others virginity so he's the only guy I've been with. Yeah, im a little nervous about being a mom but im excited more than anything and I cant wait for him to be here. My age dont mean crap.
Why would i go and get a job when im almost 7 months pregnant? My job is school. And yes I do rely on my mother to make sure there is food at home. Im 16 and my brothers aren't completely grown either so no, she hasn't already raised her kids. I have a Wic card that gives me everything a pregnant woman needs. My mom has my Wic card because she wanted to take care of it but she hasnt been. I appreciate my mom alot and because I appreciate her, I have stayed here with her. I think it's rude of you to judge me so quickly when all I'm asking from my mother is some support. I know I'm young but being young don't define the kind of mother I will be. Obviously I care alot about this baby or I wouldn't be taking the time to be so worried about all of this. I dont care if you want to think bad of me because im 16 and pregnant, think what you want. You don't know me and you dont know my mother so your opinion of me doesn't matter one bit. Thanks.
The cat thing as well... as an adult I had nobody else to change the liter and im 5 months pregnant so I had to get rid of her. If those are YOUR cats your brother's shouldn't be responsible for cleaning up after them.. if they r family cats disregard this post.
Not to sound like the B word on this post as im sure I will but the only part that bothered me about this post is the fact that you expect your mom to provide your "healthy food" because your pregnant and clearly aren't understanding of the fact that your a big girl now with a baby so it's your job to provide that stuff for yourself if that's the food and drinks you want for your baby. You have a baby to provide for now so if u have no way of buying your own groceries how r u going to feed your child? Food is already expensive enough and if your not contributing but expect her to shop a certain way that's a bit selfish as long as your pregnant. You also should be prepared as a young mother to do it as much yourself as u possibly can, to expect your mom to help when she works those long hours you say she does is also selfish. She didn't ask u to get pregnant at 16 ur baby is not her responsibility she already raised hers. You need to not look so harshly at your mom because of what she is or isnt doing in your situation, shes probably trying to prepare you for the reality check you have coming as a teen mom. Its not at all like the show teen mom portrays it to be. It costs a lot and takes a responsibility that a lot of girls your age arent ready for. I know that if my daughter came to me pregnant at 16 I would support whatevet decision she made but she wouldnt get off easy. She would be getting a job while finishing school and buying her own food and the majority of her own baby stuff because thats part of growing up. Sorry if I sound like a B word but my 6 year old appears to have more respect and appreciation than you do but I do wish you luck on your new life.
I have looked that up and what I got out of it was that you cant leave home unless your being abused and that the court system actually prefers teen moms to stay at home. But I guess you could look at this as a type of abuse. I have heard you are automatically emancipated but in the state of Kentucky I dont think thats the case.. idk
You're right. Just call the police station asap and they will give you your answer. Hope all goes well!!
Thanks ladies! I've been too stressed over this for too long. I just want to do the right thing for my son and grow up, I hate the feeling that she is holding me back from being a mom and maturing. I hate that it has to come to this but I guess a part of all of this is standing up for myself and my son too.
I say just go ahead and move to your bs house too. Legally, I don't think your mom can do anythng about it but just to be sure, call your local police station just to be sure you can move with him without your mom doing anything about it. Good luck!
Well I would have already moved In with him if I could. Im kinda stuck because im underage and I still have to listen to her and go by her rules. I would hate to start any problems with his and my parents too. I just hate being so stressed and I know none of this is good on my baby. Talking to her seems to be the right thing to do but im not so sure she's going to give in. She works from 10am-9pm so she's never home, how does she expect me to have a baby and have literally no help when my boyfriend and his family wants to help me so bad. They have begged me multiple times to move in. Im hoping things will get better when he gets here but it don't change the fact that my boyfriends house is a better off place for me and the baby
Its hard to go through what your going especially at your age. My advice will be to move in with your bf even if your mom gets mad. Im sure when the baby arrives she will be happy. Im sure you and the baby will be happier in your bfs house .. If not talk to your mom about how your feeling.
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