Mommy's of 2 children, freaking out!! :(

[KTowne]

I'm getting the 2nd child guilt!!! I don't want my little boy (3) to feel like he's being pushed aside at all, and I'm going to do all I can to make sure he's helping all he wants to, and spending alone time with him every day, I'm just stressing about him being okay with everything. He's not much of a jealous child, and he's very helpful when I ask him to be, but he's never had a baby stay for more than a day! Also, I'm a stay at home mom and freaking out about being able to handle 2 children! We were TTC, and I thought it through and we are ready, but now that I'm halfway done I'm thinking ohhh boy.... what if she's awake all night? (Which I'm SURE she will be, she's kicking every time I wake up at night! plus I'm breastfeeding) and then DS wakes up at 7-8am, I don't want to be cranky with him!! Ugh, so many thoughts going through my head, so how do you mommies get through with more than one child?!

[KTowne]

Ohh definitely learned that already!! Haha, I'm going to try to get my little man's bedtime a little earlier before she comes, and try to get her on a good, early routine so DH and I can have some alone time at night when the kids are asleep (when we can, of course). I hate having anyone babysit my son, my mom is about it, and I'm not sure she can handle 2 little ones at one time, so we're definitely going to have to learn how to make date nights inside. Thank you! You have really helped a lot, I'm sure after a little while it will all fall into place, it's just a scary thought thinking about it right now, haha! I'm enjoying the quiet time the next few months while I can!

[sorenr]

In all honesty, keeping alone time for the grown ups is the hardest part...and also the most important. Even if you make a 'date' once a week where there is no tv, cook a nice meal or get a takeaway and spend a little quality time together, it will make a difference. Its not always easy gettimg babysitters so even being in the house, but making an effort is really important. Your son will be fine, he sounds like a happy, confident wee guy so will probably take really well to his new baby, make sure you make time for every individual (meaning time for you alone and time for you and your partner to share as well as time with the kids) thats the hardest part of the balancing act, but you WILL manage it, you will learn (if you havent already!) how to get ready for a night out in under an hour (shower included!) lol. Everything will be just fine, have faith and confidence in yourself x

[KTowne]

I never drink, I've tried a few times and I can't do it, it makes my stomach hurt so bad, even just 1! So that's a no go for me, haha! I think having alone time with my husband will be needed sometimes though, it's hard not to lose your husband when you're worrying about juggling two kids and both getting all the attention they need!

[sorenr]

I was kidding about the alcohol! I'm Scottish, its our answer to ANY question lol!! But it does no-one any harm for mum and dad to get a sitter once in a while and go out to do whatever you enjoy doing together...sometimes a break is the best thing for destressing when life with kids gets tough. (but yeah a wee glass of wine and a long bath at the end of a hard day is sometimes great to help relax you)

[KTowne]

Thank you ladies, I'm glad I'm not the only one!! I'm very fortunate to have a really good son, he listens really well (most of the time) he is very independent, potty trained, sleeps through the night, and they'll be 3 1/2 years apart but he still likes his mama time, and I just don't want him to feel pushed away at all. I'm going to get a baby doll and try to help him understand better that way, he goes to my ultrasounds and appts with me, listens to her heartbeat, knows where baby sister is, helps me go through her stuff and shop for her, I'm just afraid he's going to feel left out, and he's my baby so I don't want him to feel that way at all. I hope I adjust well to lack of sleep, I did with my son, but I'm sure two at one time is going to be much more hectic.. he's a tough little man, I just hope he feels like a help, and a big brother, than my little boy being pushed aside.

Agrell I would've been so mad!!! I would've made my brother tell him the truth! I'm sure your little man will be just fine once he sees that's not the way it's going to be!

[agrell]

I haven't had this until my stupid brother told my son he better get all momma's time now because once your sister is here she wont have time for you than went on to tell him I wouldn't love him once Hailey arrived...I was so mad at the time my son was 2 and a half he will be turning 3 after his sister is born...I was like how can you say that to a child...I went and my room and just cried...I'm gonna do everything I can to not make him feel left out but if people keep filling his head with lies idk how good its gonna do

[eve0512]

I have a 21 month old at home and just had a baby Friday :) I thought it will be really bad, but it isn't...I mean yeah I'm tired and sleepy ( she wakes up every hour at night ) but I think I'm getting used to that schedule lol the first night was a nightmare...her older sister was waking up, crying,but today she didn't even notice when the baby was waking up at night:) she helps me with changing her, wants to kiss her, touch her (I have to keep reminding her how gantle she has to be and I cantimagine leaving them two alone for a second lol ) but I think that we will be fine (hopefully) :)

[AAOrozco]

I have the same worry. My daughter is going to be only 19 months when we bring our boy into the world. My daughter is very clingy to me most.of the time. I feel its going to be very tough to handle during the day as well since I'm a stay at home mom and will be doing it alone most of the days.

[KamilaLara]

Im in the same boat and really worried about being mean and cranky with my son when baby gets here because i have to have sleep and when i wake up without i am so mean lol does alcohol really help? Ive never been a drinker and my husband doesnt at all.. i am having a repeat csection and the only meds im not alergic to is tylenol or hard core narcotics which i refuse to take.. sooo i have in mind to pump and bottle feed.. if alcohol works ima start taking a shot every night lol i just am very careful with what i take and the thought of suffering with so much pain and having no help at home or family has me looking for a plan that will get me threw lol

[Lisha060708]

kids adjust easily just talk about the baby all the time and ask him what he is gonna do with the baby and where the baby will sleep and eat just make sure he knows a baby is coming and will stay and that its a wonderful thing

[sorenr]

I used to put my daughter into her own room to nap so that she was completely out of the way and focus that time on my son (there is 2 1/2 yrs between them). I also managed to get her into a nursery for a couple of hours 1 day a week so that I could take him swimming and have some time just us. She got her mummy time while my son was at nursery. This time it has been much easier because I have 5yrs between my daughter and youngest son so the older 2 understand.

[red_neck_momma]

I have 2 kids now an my 3 rd due n 11 wks it was hard at first with the 2 but my daughter just loves her Lil brother. Now I'm.just worried about my son an the new baby I've been using one of my daughters baby dolls to help him understand an he knows mommy has a baby n her belly I keep them both up to date with pictures or listening to the heart beat. (I recorded it) I can ask him where his baby sister is an he will point to my belly an say baby so I'm hoping he will b nice to her.

[sorenr]

Alcohol!!! lol only kidding (kinda)! You will be fine, it is difficult to adjust at first but you will get there. Try not to feel bad, your son will be fine, mine stopped strangers in the street to show off his baby sister! We all feel that worry, but the reality isnt as scary as the thought, honest!