not a question just a rant!

[kiyasmommy03]

I found out a couple days ago the my niece is pregnant! That's not the problem she is 20! The problem is all our family was super excited we was expecting our son! We lost twins a little over a year ago! Now everyone is more about her since she is now due the same month as I am! None of my husbands family has done anything to help us prepair for our son! My niece was supposed to help with the baby shower, I am due in feburary and have yet to have one! Now they are all buying her stuff but not our baby! I understand this will be there first great grand child but really it is very upsetting to me! I just don't know if I have a reason really to be this upset for if I am making more out of it then should be! Any advice will greatly help me!

[KTowne]

It's hard having a family member pregnant and due around the same time as you, definitely. They may see her as younger and needs a little more help than you? I don't know her situation or if she's stable financially, but that might be why they're buying her stuff. Who is the main planner for the baby shower? You still have a while to go before you have to worry about the shower, but I would definitely get together with whoever will be throwing it and planning out what's going to happen and be done. I wouldn't start a feud with anyone over it, unfortunately it will probably just be turned into them thinking you're jealous, but if it's specific people making you feel left out or not helping out, maybe try hinting at them or talking to them about it?

[AlysMom85]

Anytime another family member has an event or occasions that 'casts shadows' on another family members event, there's bound to be some emotional upsetting so I don't think your feelings are unjust. Are you older than your niece!?!? Is this your first pregnancy!?!? Is your niece single or going to be a single mom!?!? There could be underlying factors as to why your family feels the need to cater more to one pregnancy over the other I'M NOT SAYING IT MAKES IT OK - JUST THAT IT HAPPENS. I know you don't want to go around 'pouting' about it either but what I would do, is talk to your niece - in a nice way. It's one thing for you to go around saying "well what about me" and another thing for her to say "thanks everyone but what about Kiya's mom". I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your twins as well. I know that doesn't take any emotional ease out of what you may be feeling. Hang in there momma, don't let your family get you down.

[kiyasmommy03]

Thanks that helps! She is younger 20! Her and her bf love with her parents they both work but neither of them are mature either! She was supposed to plan my baby shower but now that isn't gonna happen! This is our 2nd child her first! Our daughter is 9. I'm not jealouse I know I sound like I am but I swear I'm not! I'm just upset over the whole thing! His family always does this to us and I should be use to it after 10 years but it still bothers me! I am really happy that our 2 kids will get to grow up together but then at the same time I just worry! They have never done anything for our little grl! And I just don't won't the same thing to happen with our son! Dang hormones are bad right now! But thanks for ur comments they help so much!

[KTowne]

They may surprise you on maturity after the baby is born, I was 18, my husband 21 when we had our first, I'm 21, he's 24 with our second. Although we are married, pay for our own stuff and support our own child, it took us a while to grow as parents, the kind a child deserves. It does sound like they're catering to her because she's younger and needs more help, also this is my 2nd, and my baby shower was kind of put on the back burner because it was my 2nd. Some women don't do 2nd showers (I did because I had a boy, and now am having a girl), and if they do some people don't show up, or only get a pack of diapers. My MIL and SIL are the same way.. they are pretty fake when it comes to my son, don't do much for him at all, and cater to my niece, I just ignore it, I know that my little man has all the love and support he needs from me and my family! I hope everything works out for you!!