Aa
just needing to let some stuff off my chest..
Well im a ftm 38w+5d and i just have some stuff on my mind i wanted to talk about but dont really have anyone that understands where im coming from... (sorry for the long post ahead of time)
Ive always been the kind of person that puts loved ones before myself no matter what and no matter where it puts me. But recently ive been realizing that ive been doing so much for so many people and and i feel that its unappreciated and like people are using me because of my good nature. An example would be my sister-in-law; i hate to bad mouth her because we are good friends but she tends to be lazy and trifling. She has a job and whenever she gets the notion that she doesnt feel like working she calls in and fakes being sick then has to go get doctor excuses from the hospital and she doesnt have her own transportation so sje has to ask for rides. She lives 3 houses down from me and im the one she always asks.. she gives me gas money but its never enough to replace what gets driven out of my car taking her. I dont trust people to drive my car so if anyone goes anywhere i take them myself. Well today she called me and wanted to go to the hospital but i wasnt home so i told her i might be able to later but my car is broken down and all i have for transportation is my husbands farm truck that is very old and i dont trust the vehicle to even make it to my doctor which is 30 mins away and she wanted me to take her to the hospital that is 45 mins away and said she has gas money. I still havent called her back and ive been home for 4 hours.. i dont want to call her and tell her no. My husband told me not to take her because he doesnt even think the truck will make it either. Im just tired of people expecting so much out of me and not at least thanking me. I feel used like the only reason people have me around is to have me run myself to death to help them when they cant even help me when i need it and only get in touch with me if they need something. Its never to see how i am... i could cry... iknow i need to start thinking about myself more and this is where im starting, Im not taking her anywhere. Especially a hospital. I dont need to be around all of them sick people while im pregnant and she should understand that and think of that before she even asked me. Its not just her its quite a few people that make me feel like this...
Ive always been the kind of person that puts loved ones before myself no matter what and no matter where it puts me. But recently ive been realizing that ive been doing so much for so many people and and i feel that its unappreciated and like people are using me because of my good nature. An example would be my sister-in-law; i hate to bad mouth her because we are good friends but she tends to be lazy and trifling. She has a job and whenever she gets the notion that she doesnt feel like working she calls in and fakes being sick then has to go get doctor excuses from the hospital and she doesnt have her own transportation so sje has to ask for rides. She lives 3 houses down from me and im the one she always asks.. she gives me gas money but its never enough to replace what gets driven out of my car taking her. I dont trust people to drive my car so if anyone goes anywhere i take them myself. Well today she called me and wanted to go to the hospital but i wasnt home so i told her i might be able to later but my car is broken down and all i have for transportation is my husbands farm truck that is very old and i dont trust the vehicle to even make it to my doctor which is 30 mins away and she wanted me to take her to the hospital that is 45 mins away and said she has gas money. I still havent called her back and ive been home for 4 hours.. i dont want to call her and tell her no. My husband told me not to take her because he doesnt even think the truck will make it either. Im just tired of people expecting so much out of me and not at least thanking me. I feel used like the only reason people have me around is to have me run myself to death to help them when they cant even help me when i need it and only get in touch with me if they need something. Its never to see how i am... i could cry... iknow i need to start thinking about myself more and this is where im starting, Im not taking her anywhere. Especially a hospital. I dont need to be around all of them sick people while im pregnant and she should understand that and think of that before she even asked me. Its not just her its quite a few people that make me feel like this...
In some ways in similar to you, always there for other people and going out of my way to make sure they have what they need even though it may be an inconvenience to me or make me broke. But as I progress in my pregancy I'm realizing that the only person I need to be focus on is my little baby. It's been hard and at times awkward to tell people no but I've been standing firm in my no's! And actually feel so much better. Instead of avoiding your sister in law you need to tell her no! If you need your car to get back and forth to work then why risk it breaking down to take someone else somewhere
ch, in that case I think you should just tell her you can't take her.
A trip that far is really an imposition - it's not like she's asking to tag along with you to the grocery store. 45 minutes to the hospital and then 45 minutes back just so she can make up an excuse not to go into work is a lot to ask.
I think I wouldn't even call her back about it.
A trip that far is really an imposition - it's not like she's asking to tag along with you to the grocery store. 45 minutes to the hospital and then 45 minutes back just so she can make up an excuse not to go into work is a lot to ask.
I think I wouldn't even call her back about it.
@Rockrose No she doesnt need to go to the hospital at all... all she wants is to get a work excuse for not "feeling" like going to work today.. and i am the person that does all of those things that you mentioned.. i am always the first pwrson that is there for anyone in need. Im just now realizing that people are starting to use me.. my husband is the one that brought this to my attention that people are doing this. I never realized it before. And i honestly dont care if people like me or not (i have plenty of people that dont like me and i dont like them back) i would give the clothes off my back to anyone in need without giving it a second thought. i just dont want hard feelings between me and my husbands family. Even my husband told me not to take her because she doesnt need to go even he said that she uses people until she cant anymore.
Hmm. I think before you move forward with this, you need to look at this clearly.
There are people who LOVE to do things for other people because that's what makes them tick. They remember everyone's birthdays, bring people flowers or small gifts for no reason except to make their friend feel loved, are the first to jump up and bring a meal to someone who's sick, etc. Those people aren't taken advantage of, and everyone appreciates how giving and caring they are.
From your post, I don't sense that's the dynamic that's going on here. i think people have discovered they can get you to do favors for them and you won't ever say no. And the reason (this is critical here) is that you can't stand the thought that someone might not like you. The very thought of any kind of confrontation leaves you kind of panicked because you want to always be liked by everyone, all the time.
This is going to be hard to go backwards from here, because people are used to you doing stuff for them without giving favors back.
On the other hand, does she actually NEED to go to the hospital?
There are people who LOVE to do things for other people because that's what makes them tick. They remember everyone's birthdays, bring people flowers or small gifts for no reason except to make their friend feel loved, are the first to jump up and bring a meal to someone who's sick, etc. Those people aren't taken advantage of, and everyone appreciates how giving and caring they are.
From your post, I don't sense that's the dynamic that's going on here. i think people have discovered they can get you to do favors for them and you won't ever say no. And the reason (this is critical here) is that you can't stand the thought that someone might not like you. The very thought of any kind of confrontation leaves you kind of panicked because you want to always be liked by everyone, all the time.
This is going to be hard to go backwards from here, because people are used to you doing stuff for them without giving favors back.
On the other hand, does she actually NEED to go to the hospital?
Right now just worry about whats going on in your home. Your quite far along and could go into labor at any moment. You need to be preparing for your little one. If she needs a ride she can call someone else. If shes that sick then she just needs to stay at home unless shes dying. You need to be relaxing and resting, your not going to be doing a lot that when your little one arives and you need to enjoy it while you can. Just breathe and try to take things easy. I hope the best for you
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