Decided for the amnio... it has been a difficult week...

[Melka76]

Last Monday I found out that I tested positive for a high risk of Trisomy 18 - fatal for the baby.  I have not slept, barely eaten... completely and emotional wreck.  My mother tried to convince me to buy some baby items this weekend and I could not... I was thinking if she does have it.. I would have to pack it all up and it would be horrible.  I am at risk for preterm labor - getting weekly shots of progesterone to hold of contractions... had my cervix stiched with a cerclage to prevent my incompetent cervix from opening... Today at work I had a mental melt down.. could not focus, work, think... I have been screaming at my husband for 5 days straight.. he is not even home.. he is 2000 miles away. While yes... he has said and done some things to provke me.. I am flying off the handle... My husband called my dr and told him that I was depressed (crying all night and most of the day) reading all the horrible things Trisomy 18 has done to other little babies... not eating and when I do... throw up because I am so upset.  Not sleeping more than 1 hour a night.. the dr said it was not a side effect of the progesterone but my nerves and hormones.. the worrying is destroying me emotionally and creating an unpleasant environment for the baby - he highly suggested having the High Risk drs do an amnio at my level 2 us on Thursday to calm me down... I do suffer from anxiety and when I am anxious I don't eat... a bad cycle.... after a lot more thinking... I decided to do it.  It will be done in the hospital... I will be on bed rest for 4 days afterwards and then another shot of progesterone.... PLEASE do not tell me horror stories of amnios... I really can not emotionally take it as I feel guilty as heck that I am doing this knowing that I would not term if possible and knowing could not help the baby... but I am only 20 weeks and the dr feels my anxiety and all will get much worse and could cause me more issues in the long run because I am such a wreck.. we did IVF so it has been a very long road....Any positive thoughts would be greatly appreciated!  Thanks... Mel

[nickieb85]

OH YEAH! I am so glad that everything turned out well for your little one! I couldn't be happier for you and that your little princess is perfect! You beat all of the odds and came out triumphant! I am glad that you didn't have to do the amnio (they are slightly uncomfortable and the risk seems to be too much) and your little princess is healthy! Congratulations! Girl start picking out some pink stuff!

[Melka76]

It is a great feeling to finally feel good about this pregnancy! Thanks girls!

[durhamjk1]

I am so happy that things turned out good!

[Tiffiepooh]

I am so happy that everything is ok with your little girl I am starting to cry now thinking about what all you have been through. I am so glad that all is well and I am so happy that she is ok and will be in your life. I am praying for you still though. Good luck and God bless.

[Ashelen]

Thank God that everything is looking great....I am so glad you pursued this and now have a better answer...and if the amnio isn't necessary thank God for that as well because I know with your risks it would have been extra scary...I'm just so relieved for you I'm tearing up!!! Bless you and your little contortionist baby girl <3

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I am SOOO happy for you that everything looked good at the u/s.  Your little girl will be here before you know it so start getting those baby things ready :)

[Limonada]

I've been following this and I just wanted to say that I'm so happy and relieved for you - what a blessing that she looks healthy :-)

[Gailybaby]

reading your whole paost form begging to end jsut made me cry! I am soooooo HAPPY that your little baby is fine! Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy!

[Melka76]

Well we did the level2 us first than the vaginal for the cervix length check.. we spent almost an entire hour looking at the baby - we counted all 10 fingers and all 10 toes.. we checked her little face for any deformities - palate, lips, nose...blood flow was great - heart we spent a good 20 mins on - from all different angles.. spine slowly worked our way from top to tiny bottom... Dr came in and said that with this us he is 99.5% sure the baby does not have Trisomy 18 as it is "a bad player" - there would be very prominent markers telling us something was wrong and she looked perfect - a few days behind on growth (probably to me not eating and losing weight this past week) but other than that PERFECT... he said it was up to us .. to have the amnio for that additional .5% accuracy.. he said with my history of preterm labor and IC that he would support our decision but after this us.. did not feel it was necessary - we DID NOT DO IT..... I feel much better... I am so happy you are all soooo supportive..Now it is time to move forward... getting ready for her to come.. cervix looks wonderful - she is helping by being frank breech not putting a lot of pressure on it.. except it now explains why I feel like a weight is on my chest..  while i am sitting and I am having a hard time eating, as I have her head and feet right below my ribs with the tiny hiney below by my cervix.... I can't believe she is comfortable in that position- I am going to see if I can get the picture loaded... it is funny - you see her head and right in front of her nose are her feet.... THANK YOU ALL..

[nickieb85]

Hey I am sorry that you have to be faced with this difficult decision. You are already a mom and you know how important that little life inside of you is... I know that when those doctors give you that choice your world (essentially) ends... I hope that you have the same outcome as me and your little one ends up perfect!

[usuk]

good luck tomorrow. you are a mom already and there is no way you could be making the wrong decision. you have priceless, selfless experience to go on.

[Kricket212]

Prayers to you.  I know God will give you the strength to continue this road that you have been given.   We are only given what God knows we can handle & it seems like you are a strong person.  You will do what is righ for you & little baby.

Keep us posted!!

[TCGirl]

I am so sorry you are going through this.  You should be able to enjoy this time and not be so frightened.  Hopefully tomorrow will bring much needed relief.  Either way, my prayers and thoughts are with you.

[jschoch8]

I completely understand and would probably also in your case. you should be enjoying your pregnancy and not be worrying the whole time. I hope you are worrying for nothing, and you get the results you want.

[Atia_Julii]

I pray that the amnio will give you much needed peace.  I'll be thinking of you and praying for good results.  

[Melka76]

I actually slept 3 hours last night - more than I have since finding out last monday... Tomorrow is the day - my ex husband is going to take the kids for me so I can get some rest afterwards.... I met with a genetic counsler who also offered termination and that is why I said no to the amnio because I don't and wont... because the Trisomy 18 is not compatiable with life and I "should not have to go through the pain of losing a baby after delivery" - whatever.. if that is what GOD has planned than who am I to question??  I do pray that everything is okay but I understand if it is not.. I just kept thinking of completing the nursery and then come come empty handed .. taking it all apart.. I cant keep thinking like that so this will give me some peace of mind.. Thanks ladies.. I will let you know how it goes...

[nickieb85]

Hi hunny I had to have an amnio done because my baby had soft markers for downs along with a few other things (cysts, and nuchal length not measuring correctly) and they were for sure he was going to be seriously disabled. They gave me the option of termination (that before anything else!) and then when I told them no way, they said to do the amnio so I did it. I was more scared of the pain but it didn't hurt and it ended up giving me piece of mind but I was a total wreck until they got the preliminary results back. I am glad that you decided to do it. I hope that either way you will  have piece of mind and hopefully you will be able to sleep and eat so your baby can grow strong :)

[tiredbuthappy]

i would have made the same decision. i don't feel it is selfish at all and think it is wise. i cannot imagine the anxiety and anguish you are experiencing and i am sorry. I suspect in a few weeks you'll be able to look back on this as a terrible nightmare as you feel your healthy, normal baby kicking the cr@p out of you :)

[ammanda]

I also agree that it is whats best for you. I wish you all the best.  And I am praying for you and your lil girl.. Keep us posted and if you need anyone I am always on here, It will only take me no longer then an hour to reply.  *HUGS*

[jrobertson20]

I am so sorry that you have to go through all of this.  I think you made a very wise decision.  This is the best choice for you and your family.  Please take it easy the next few days and try to eat and get some sleep.  I know it's easier said than done.  You will be in my thoughts and prayers on Thursday and I wish you all the luck in the world!!!!

[Melka76]

Ashelen - And all those that have been there for me.. Thank you so much for all of your support.. I am so thankful to have all of you to ask questions.. read yours and help each other out... I would be in much worse shape if I did not have all of you..
Thanks.. I will let you know how things go on Thursday.... I thought I would be more nervous but for some reason I finally feel a little relief... I am nervous but I can't keep going the way I am... I love my little girl and just want the best for her.. and me like this is not good..

[Ashelen]

Honey you've made up your mind, and I agree that this is the best thing for you. You can't spend the next twenty weeks in terror, doing this to yourself...No matter what happens, you made the right decision. If it were anything but Trisomy 18 I would say don't get the amnio...but because it is so deadly this is one case where knowing ahead of time is absolutely the best thing for you and your family.


I hope everything turns out clear and this has all been one big nightmare, but either way you've got a lot of women praying for you here and hoping for the best...hang in there and I really think you made the right choice. You are the only one who can know what's going on in your head and your body, and you're the only one qualified to make this decision (you and DH obviously) so don't doubt it for ONE SECOND or you will go insane.

Hang in there...best of luck hon..keep us posted. message me if you need to vent <3