pregnant after miscarriage. but a babys dad being a nightmare

[hannah0912]

well i joined here last time in june when i found i was pregnant but lost the baby soon after :(
but have just discovered im pregnant again. its with the same dad as last time. he now says again he doesnt want the baby and if i keep it he is movin away so the baby will never know him.
i have also just been in hospital for 2 days having scans as they thought something went wrong but baby is ok now :) any help on what i should do?

[LosingMyMindInGA]

My best advice is to start living for you and that baby.  If he isn't man enough to stick around it's ultimately his loss.  He doesn't sound like a very trustworthy individual.  You say he has always been there for you but apparently he has his limits on his dependability and by getting pregnant you reached that limit with him.  He sounds very selfish to me and I would suggest that NOW is a good time to start forgetting about him.

[hannah0912]

well i know that i definately want to keep the baby.. were not together no more broke up just befoe i did the test, but he has a lways been there for me and dont want to lose him, didnt realise that even if i get rid of our baby to keep him in my life it would only be til he got nother girlfriend then he wouldnt have time for me. i am definately keepin my baby i just need to be strong and tell him. x

[gillianl]

Get rid of him, there are plenty of children growing up in 1 parent families and having a really good life you don't need a man to make things better for your child.  Also there are plenty more men out there more willing to take on a partner and their child more than ever these days. I really hope you get things sorted before the baby arrives

[TCGirl]

I'm am so sorry for your situation.  Being pregnant should be a time of joy and happiness.  I had a miscarriage in September, but am 11 weeks today, so I understand being scared.  Fortunately, I am married and my husband is really excited about all of this.  Is this guy someone you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with?  Are you really in love with him?   If not, while it may be frightening to go it alone, it may be better for you to just cut him out of your life.  Easier said than done, trust me, I know.  But, the added stress is not healthy for you or the baby.  And, do you want your child raised by someone who is going to teach him or her that it is okay to treat someone, or be treated, that way?  I am sorry for being harsh, but it is now about what is best for both you and the baby.  Your boyfriend should still have legal obligations to the baby, at least in the US, all parents are required to financially support their children, whether they want them or not.

[hannah0912]

thats well bad it rubbish how men are never there for us. mine went out to his mates last night to see an olf friend hu was a girl and he wouldnt cancel even thou i was getting pains sayiin shes a friend, i was like im pregnant with ur baby!! but he went anyway and when i sed pains were getting worse he didnt even reply and came in at 6 in the morning just dont know what to do x

[thickm]

WHAT A COMPLETE JERK......i miscarried in july and my husband was the best until then and the day i had my d&c he left me at home and went to the bar all night! and now that i am pregnant again hes been okay but while at the hosp the other day he told me he was ready to go home and even though i was put on bedrest he said i need to go back to work on monday!!!

[leighanne143]

just hang in there.  honestly my fiancé didn’t do the same thing but he was very scared and had many reservations.  I had 2 MC's in 5 months and having been through something like that is hard and he may just be really scared.

I would let him know that you are keeping your baby and he can be there or not.  Give him a little space.  let him know that you love him and care about him and that you are scared to but that it would be a better thing to go through this together.  Give him a few days to think.  he is probably very scared.
Use all of us ladies here to vent to.