This situation is a little hard for me to describe in words, but I will try my best.
Me and my best friend have been friends for 4 years. We have a special bond because what brought us close was how similar our lives were. We are both from the same back round with drunk parents. We are very similar and even learned that we self harmed a lot as a coping stratagy when we were younger. (We don't do that anymore) but after we figured all this out we began looking after each other, as no one else was in our positions and we could really understand how it felt. We've spent our whole friendship being a rock for one another, and both of us have a lot to thank the other for.
Well my best friend has another 'best friend'. This other girl has been friends with her since they were young. The thing is over the years this girl has changed and for a good couple of years now has treated my best friend really badly, speaking horribly to her, putting her down, treating her like she doesn't matter. As I've grown to be really protective of my friend, because of the hardship we've both felt, I hated this. Lately the treatment has got worse and more often. My best friend even said she avoids this girl and doesn't really like her anymore. She says however she can't stop being friends with her, because she's not ready and she's clinging onto the hope her friend will turn back into the old friend she was.
I always listen to my best friend vent about the latest thing this girl has done to her, I've been her shoulder to cry on through it all, and it really upsets me because in my eyes, my best friend is a really amazing person. I've never put anyone before her, and as soon as anyone says a bad word about her, I do not want to know them.
Anyway. I saw a text from this girl to my best friend. It said a lot of mean things about me. My best friend replied agreeing with all the nasty things this girl was saying, which shocked me because I always thought my best friend had my back. If it were any of my other friends, it wouldn't be a big deal. But me and her have such a strong bond because of all the **** we go through. Just this weekend I had to stay with her because my parents were so drunk and the police got called.
I told my best friend I'd seen it, and she felt realy bad. She said she didn't really agree with the bad things the girl said about me, she was just in a funny mood and she wanted to avoid any drama, so she thought she'd just go along with it. We talked for hours and it ended with me asking if she had to choose between me or this other girl who would she choose (not that I'd make her, I just wanted to know the answer) and she said she couldn't choose.
I'm just sad she didn't stick up for me, especially to someone who is so horrible to her. There have been situations in the past, where my friend has not stuck up for me, and she's felt bad. I've never held it against her though, because I know she just wants everyone to like her. This time though, its deeper.
I don't want to loose her, because we've both been through so much and I don't think either of us could cope without each other. But at the same time, I feel slightly betrayed. I don't know how things can be normal again, or if they will. I don't really know what to do about it, because we've talked it through and nothing was resolved. How can I go back to normal without feeling angry when she meets with this girl? How can I trust her again without feeling paranoid about if someones bitching about me and my friends joining in?