To one person - an older adult child living at home is a "strange dynamic" to another, it is considered a tradition (to prefer to live with one's parents and look after them when they get older). Is his living at home and possibly wanting to continue even with a wife, something that would be considered "normal" for him?
The constant fighting would concern me greatly. It speaks of either not being mature enough to enter into a relationship, or not feeling like you are in a compatible with your partner. If there is this much fighting prior to living with one another, then i would imagine that the fighting would get worse as life became more complicated, possibly with children to raise. From the sounds of it, this man would feel most comfortable living with his parents and spending his evenings eating with them, possibly entertaining himself with them while it sounds like you would rather have had you both living on your own and socializing with folks your own age.
So , I think the relationship possibly went the way it was supposed to go, so you could find what it is that would make you most comfortable. Time is what's needed after a breakup with a loved one when there is irreconcilable differences. If you have friends, make sure you get out and socialize. Try to start new projects, hobbies, do things that you've never done before and see keep your life interesting and moving forward. Know in your heart that sometimes things end because there is no chance of happiness. Love is not enough, there must be compatibility. So look for someone that IS TRULY compatible and love will follow.
I'm sorry you're feeling a bit lost right now. I had to divorce my first husband for numerous reasons, but i did love that man and it was hard to know that i wouldn't be around him any more to see the magnificence that I fell in love with. Had i stayed, i would have been really unhappy. Now i'm with a man in retirement that I can truly say is my best match. It wouldn't have happened if i had not been brave enough to move on from a loved one. I wish you peace on your journey forward. Please know i'd be happy to spend time talking to you on private email should you feel the need to talk it out anonymously, allowing you to spend your time with your friends and family in the here and now, mindfully moving forward.
I, unfortunately, don't think you are a match. You are not compatible with this man. He's tried to bring you into the fold of his life with the dinners with his parents, etc. and this is seen as an annoyance to you. You don't like him living there or being so active in his parent's life or they in his. That's fine for you to feel that way and I don't blame you. However, he's not wrong either. This is who he is. You want something different in life. Rather than try to make him fit that, find someone who really does. I think, in the long run, you will be much happier. Good luck hon
Thanks.. thats not what im saying tho. I loved the fact he was close to his family. I have no issues with that. I didnt mind sitting down to family dinners . I made a big efforr with his family. I even made an effort by doing his hobbie with him. I went fishing a few times and enjoyed it.
The point im making is its like his mum wants all his time and she gets jealous of his gfs so she guves him grieve. Thats not normal. She should want her son to have his own life. He can still be close to his family without his mum being controlling.
Altho we might not be a match its very difficult when ive made so much effort and i truly loved this guy.