Aa
Cheating
I've been saying a guy for a year and a half. We've been through a lot together but he has cheated on me a bunch of times. He always tries to say how I'm the one the drives him to cheat because of the things I do. He always makes a fool out of me because e cheats on me with a girl at his gym and I go there regularly to work out and have to see her everytime. He's done a bunch of messed up things to me and always blames me that our problems come from me. I tried breaking up with him but he keeps begging me to stay with him and tells me he will change. Infront of me he will pretend to have my back but then he will go and give that girl what she wants I'm just so sick of this. I don't know where to escape to I actually don't want to be with him and just thinking about it makes me super angry and I start to feel so much hatred. He keeps telling me he will make it up to me and wants to make me happy even if it takes a year. Can guys really change from being like this or he is just feeling vulnerable at the fact that I'm willing to walk away?
We spent 5 hours talking yesterday. I made it clear that were over. Thanks guys for your advice
We spent 5 hours yesterday. I made it clear that were over. Thanks guys for your advice
The guy is blaming you for his infidelity? Look, people can change, but this guys behavior is habitual. Worse than that, he is not owning up to HIS infidelity.
What is it that YOU could be doing to make him do this? The answer is nothing..... If you could make him cheat, you could make him not cheat. It is that simple.
I'm all for giving second chances, but you've done that a few times and the end result is the same... he does it again. It's time to move away from this guy and you can do it however you please.
What is it that YOU could be doing to make him do this? The answer is nothing..... If you could make him cheat, you could make him not cheat. It is that simple.
I'm all for giving second chances, but you've done that a few times and the end result is the same... he does it again. It's time to move away from this guy and you can do it however you please.
One more thing.. I'm happy to see that you've moved good for you girl! I hope your fiancé is treating you right!
I'm really sorry to hear about your traumatic experience.. Ya I've been being stupid and foolish for too long.. I'm done being degraded and tortured and hurt. I'd rather be single forever then to continue things. Whenever I'm with him I just constantly suppressing all of our bad memories and what he does to me but when I'm alone is when I start thinking and I get so angry!!! I'm so sick of this
Please stay away from this guy, far far away! This sounds like the first guy I willingly had sex with (I was raped when I was 12).
He got to the point where he would get all his girl "friends" to sit on his lap and cuddle with him to "taunt" me. Idk what he told them! Most likely told them we were broken up and I was stalking him or something haha :(
We went out for 2 years! And every time I tried to leave him he'd get violent! Honestly HE was the one who stalked ME! When I would go to a friends he would show up 5 mins later, then would leave when I decided to leave.. Then would flip out that I was visiting "his" friends (though other than his slutty girl "friends" everyone hated him for the way he was treating me lol)
He would also steal money and other stuff from me for drugs.
He got more and more violent towards me, I was trapped in his grasp. Every day was torture. Finally he set his sights on this other girl because she was a virgin and I took the opportunity to skip town while he was obsessing over this girl.
He's tried to get back with me a few times to
the point of calling me at my fiancés house to tell me he loved me lol.
Maybe your relationship isn't that bad, but I'm just warning you what it could turn into if you let this go any farther.
My advice is not to even go there to break things off, you need to break ALL contact! My ex was famous for talking me back into the relationship with his sweet talk stay far, far away from this guy!!!
He got to the point where he would get all his girl "friends" to sit on his lap and cuddle with him to "taunt" me. Idk what he told them! Most likely told them we were broken up and I was stalking him or something haha :(
We went out for 2 years! And every time I tried to leave him he'd get violent! Honestly HE was the one who stalked ME! When I would go to a friends he would show up 5 mins later, then would leave when I decided to leave.. Then would flip out that I was visiting "his" friends (though other than his slutty girl "friends" everyone hated him for the way he was treating me lol)
He would also steal money and other stuff from me for drugs.
He got more and more violent towards me, I was trapped in his grasp. Every day was torture. Finally he set his sights on this other girl because she was a virgin and I took the opportunity to skip town while he was obsessing over this girl.
He's tried to get back with me a few times to
the point of calling me at my fiancés house to tell me he loved me lol.
Maybe your relationship isn't that bad, but I'm just warning you what it could turn into if you let this go any farther.
My advice is not to even go there to break things off, you need to break ALL contact! My ex was famous for talking me back into the relationship with his sweet talk stay far, far away from this guy!!!
Wow that's awfule but that's exactly what I went through. He claims that he hasn't done anything since the summer with her and that they're just co workers.. Even if that is true I still felt so degraded by him her and everybody that knows.. I don't even know who knows and who doesn't but I saw her photos and Instagram an she blasted ALL these quotes about cheating and EVERYBODY know who she's referring too. I feel so degraded.
I have a different take on cheating than many Who are here. I don't consider an affair a "mistake". EveryOne who is in a Relationship knows an affair is wrong! A "mistake" is something You learn AFTER the fact that it was a mistake. A "mistake" is not something You need to hide, cheat and lie about to Your Partner. We can be honest about our "mistakes".
Otherwise, one could say, "Oh, Honey, I made a mistake today, I had an affair"
and Honey would reply, "No problem SweetHeart, try, try again until You get it right".
My 1st husband had numerous affairs with numerous people and, while each time I felt Extreme Anguish, I felt ESPECIALLY demeaned by those I knew, by those who knew me, and by those I had to continue to see, to put on a happy face and pretend all was well when I was so broken.
We walk away from other People who cause us pain but not Our Husbands, our BoyFriends??? What's Wrong With That Picture!!!
I wish You the utmost luck, but personally, I think You should walk away as it seems this guy has a pattern.
Otherwise, one could say, "Oh, Honey, I made a mistake today, I had an affair"
and Honey would reply, "No problem SweetHeart, try, try again until You get it right".
My 1st husband had numerous affairs with numerous people and, while each time I felt Extreme Anguish, I felt ESPECIALLY demeaned by those I knew, by those who knew me, and by those I had to continue to see, to put on a happy face and pretend all was well when I was so broken.
We walk away from other People who cause us pain but not Our Husbands, our BoyFriends??? What's Wrong With That Picture!!!
I wish You the utmost luck, but personally, I think You should walk away as it seems this guy has a pattern.
You guys are all so helpful. I'm glad I'm getting some input from people who are just looking out. Thanks guys.. Im not sure if I actually want to even meet with him but if I do it will be to tell him it's over. Thanks guys ill keep you posted on what happens
Dear, the key WORD here is manipulation.
He cheats on you because YOU allow this, i.e. keep taking him back.
Do you think he DESERVES all that power over you?
You are totally spinning your wheels here and I wouldn't waste anymore time dealing with him.
End it.....tell him you are DONE if you go see him. BTW: that's the ONLY reason why you should go see him.
If you don't leave you are risking heartbreak AGAIN and possibly STDs.
Your call......
He cheats on you because YOU allow this, i.e. keep taking him back.
Do you think he DESERVES all that power over you?
You are totally spinning your wheels here and I wouldn't waste anymore time dealing with him.
End it.....tell him you are DONE if you go see him. BTW: that's the ONLY reason why you should go see him.
If you don't leave you are risking heartbreak AGAIN and possibly STDs.
Your call......
As Vance said, people make mistakes but his actions should now be considered intentional. I know you love him but it does not appear that he loves you.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Got cut off, sorry.
so far has taught you.
I would say that this is just something that should be too much for anyone to overcome to continue a relationship.
I do wish you luck though.
so far has taught you.
I would say that this is just something that should be too much for anyone to overcome to continue a relationship.
I do wish you luck though.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm worried. Now, healthy thinking makes one say "hm. This guy has cheated on me with more than one person, did it at a place that I go to so that I'll know the girl, and said originally that it is MY fault. hm. Well, he's an idiot and I'm done." That is normal, healthy thinking. You seem to very much want to be with him regardless of what your time together so far has taug
Ya I wouldn't get back with him just like that.. But what if he does actually "solve" all our problems? I wouldn't consider getting back with him without him doing anything first. This is so hard. I almost had a child with him and I have him my virginity.. I just want someone to tell me.. If he is able to solve all of our **** should I consider it? What do you guys think?
He keeps telling me now that he's the jerk and saying how hes the worst boyfriend and everything is his fault. Now he's trying to convince me that everything can be fixed and will be fixed and has a "new outlook" on life. He wants to meet with me to talk and he says he has a lot of important stuff to say.. Should I atleast go talk to him? He said he spoke with the girl that he cheated on me with and apparently and he wants to tell me what was said and that it's "good"
I forgot to add the best part. 2 months into their marriage he was arrested for rape. I helped her move her things out of their house and found hundreds of dating site emails from many many girls.
So you can through this into the pot also!!!
So you can through this into the pot also!!!
I had a girl do this to me also and i broke up with her as could not take it any more. I was with her for 3 years and she always putted off marrying me. I bumped into her a while later and she was with another man and never cheated on him and was head over heals in love with him, and married him after knowing him for one month
I realized it was me that she did not love and was with me for what ever reasons.
I believe when he finds the right person he wont cheat on her. Hes wants to be with you for what ever reason and if you search deep, i think you will find the answer.
I realized it was me that she did not love and was with me for what ever reasons.
I believe when he finds the right person he wont cheat on her. Hes wants to be with you for what ever reason and if you search deep, i think you will find the answer.
Tell him it's over and don't look back no matter what he says. He has no respect for you. People do make mistakes and cheating is a mistake that can happen. No one is perfect. But to do it multiple of times, with someone you see a lot, and telling you that it is your fault. No, no, no. Do not stand for that.
You did not make him cheat, he made himself cheat because he is immature and not ready to really be in a relationship. You can do better, you can find better.
You did not make him cheat, he made himself cheat because he is immature and not ready to really be in a relationship. You can do better, you can find better.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Welcome. Well, I personally would have broken it off a long time ago. His choice to cheat on you with girls that go to a place you frequent is just awful. Lowest of the low. And then to try to blame it on you rather than his horrible, low character? That is unforgivable. I don't think he has it in him to really change because he hasn't owned what a creep he really is.
Staying with him gets you nothing in the end but wasted time in my opinion. Hold men to a very high standard sweetie!! Demand to be treated a certain way and settle for nothing less. He's done you wrong in some of the worst ways and I just wouldn't put up with it. You can do much much better. Move on and free yourself from this jerk. good luck
Staying with him gets you nothing in the end but wasted time in my opinion. Hold men to a very high standard sweetie!! Demand to be treated a certain way and settle for nothing less. He's done you wrong in some of the worst ways and I just wouldn't put up with it. You can do much much better. Move on and free yourself from this jerk. good luck
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