Confuse with relationship with a younger girl.

[D_unknown]

Hi I am new here. If anyone could help me provide advice or any kind of help I am really gratefull. So let me begin with my story....


I am 21 year old. I live in India to be exact South India (where its legal to marry first cousin).

My mum's younger brother daughter is 3.5 years younger then me. We have been close from when we used to be kids. I used to spend most of my summer vacation with them and even functions-festivals at their home We used to share about everything talk hours and hours.... We used to sleep even in same bed but I won't be close would maintain a distance.

It all started when before 3 years I was 18 and she was 15. During one of late night conversation she came closer then usual and tired to kiss me which I moved at the last moment and I thought she was just teasing me or playing some prank over me. I asked what this all was about but she said nothing. So we went back to sleep. But I couldn't sleep in a same bed with her so I moved to another room and slept over the couch. Morning when I woke up I found her little annoyed. She was angry over me. I kept asking her what's was the reason and she didn't say anything but I knew she was angry that I skipped room. The next night I slept over the couch just to be cautious. Middle of night I was woke by her she said me to come to bed and sorry for what she did. But I said it wasn't any problem. This turned into a argument. At last she again tried to kiss me which I moved again. She got angry went back to her room. After few days we started to talk back and I warned her never to repeat it again. Which she said ok fine. After that we never shared same bed. I couldn't let other family members know because it might become a big problem between our families.


After that everything was fine back to normal.


Last year I was staying at their home for my holidays. But I slept in another room alone. And she came in to pick some of her books from that room. This started into a long night chat. Suddenly she came closer and next think I knew we were kissing each other. (I accept I really regreat doing this :-( ). After few minutes I asked her to go to her room as its getting late she too went off. But I felt good at that time I didn't feel anything wrong about that kiss.


After two days I returned back to my home. I started feeling guilty about that kiss. Still now I regret this thing in my life. Its been a year. But still I am really feeling guilty. I never even visited my uncle's home this past one year just to avoid meeting up with her. But I get few texts from her. That she misses me and other stuffs till now date I get them (but I haven't replied any)


Its been a year still I couldn't figure out what to do. I have the guilty feelings inside me. I like her but I don't know if I like that much to commit into a relationship. I don't know if I should say how I feel to her or just avoid her forever. Please advice me.

[D_unknown]

Thank you #AnnieBrooke. I will try to stay away from her for now.

[AnnieBrooke]

I think that if you loved her enough to want to marry her, you would know it.  The kiss sounds like an impulsive act, and also sounds like you tried admirably to avoid letting the physical take over so you would not wind up in bed.  It really doesn't sound like you have a lot to feel guilty about. You got out of there and stayed away, an honorable move when you weren't sure of your motivations.  In your position, I would stay away from your uncle's house until you hear she is married.  She might have a crush on you, but you do not have one on her, you just get along and you had one impulsive moment.  She will take any civility on your part or friendliness as a signal that it is possible for you two to get together in a love relationship, and I don't sense that you want that.  For your own safety, stay away.  She will get over it.