Is it worth staying???

[Lemaye]

My "Fiancé" and I have been together going on 3 years in January. We have a child who will be 2 in May. Our relationship has been way up or way down! Before I got pregnant we got into a few fights, and he would always end up leaving and staying gone for the weekend, partying! When I became pregnant it happened probably 6 times! I say he picked fights for a reason to leave and party with his buddies for the weekend or week, but he says we fought and he didn't think we would workout! Either way, I was pregnant and he left me, My daughter and I ended up moving in with my mother, and he lived with his brother. Just in the 9 months I was pregnant I honestly have zero good memories! I think most of my time got spent worrying what I was going to do, and what the hell he was doing! There were times I had made trips to the ER and would call him and his brother or friends would say I was faking or whatever....seemed like a low blow to me, but whatever! I actually found out the sex of our child in the er, without him there. Thinking back, I'm pretty sure he was "out riding around" that night! UGH ! Anyways, we ended up back together about a month before my due-date. Everything seemed to be going awesome! Well I had a severe episode and come to find out I was dealing with post-partum depression. NOT FUN! He ended up leaving me saying he couldn't handle me, I was a ***** who didn't appreciate him! Long story short, he moved in with friends. Him and his friends made my life hell! Name calling, blame game, nothing was held back by him and his buddies! He eventually came back said his apologies and of course I let him back. This next part I know I was wrong, but I've kept so much hurt in that I wanted him to feel a little pain.....I went out for the evening, and ended up staying at my moms. My plan was to "teach him a lesson", but all it did was slap me in the face. He left the next day and stayed out till about 4:30ish in the morning. He forgot to delete messages to his buddy talking about a girl, he butt dialed me drunker than cooter brown talking to females, and he spent every dollar we had...about $400 !! Now, he lied, and lied but finally about 2 weeks later he finally said that he was flirting and talking to girls he shouldn't have been talking to, but never cheated nor was cheating on his mind! Ya, okay! So now he is back home, for a few months now! Doing awesome, says he was a jerk and he messed up. I have zero complaints about him now, but my issue is this......How much hurt can a person take before they can't move on? I wanna trust him, but I can't get **** out of my head...I can't help but think he cheated or did more than what he claims! Am I wrong? Should I let it go and just move forward? I mean yes I love him, but I'm hurt, confused, and I honestly have no idea how to help myself! Sorry if this is hard to follow....

[joshjul]

not sure how old you guys are but it sounds like you guys are young. Im not making excuses for your bf or his behavior but maturity seems to be an issue here. You have a child now and you say things seem to have been better recently which Im happy to hear. My opinion is that you shouls give it a chance since you have a child and it is worth trying. BUT and this is a big BUT..you MUST let go of the past in order to go forward.You must forget whatever happened and focus on the future. IF you find that you CANT do that then you must part. Also if he "messes up" again by acting childish and leaves you and his child then it is most definately time to move on and focus on the security and well being of your child. NO child should be in an environment with hostility and anger even if it is their own parents.IT will be better for your child if it is just you and her/him and maybe down the road you can find a better relationship that will make you happy and secure. But def. worth trying to fix this at the moment. good luck!

[VICourageous]

I DITTO What the above says. Trust and Communication is the Key!! You might have to work on that..Both of YOU. I do wish you the best and just look toward the Future and Not the Past.
Bless

[specialmom]

Hi there.  Well, here is my honest, heartfelt opinion.  you say that you have zero complaints about him now.  He says he messed up and is really trying.  Since you have a child together, I really feel you should give it a shot.  most kids want both their mom and dad to be a family together.  If you can make it work with him, your daughter will thank you for it.  so, give it a try and do your very best to work.  it's in your child's best interest.  peace and luck

[TTinKKerBBell]

If You want to move forward, the answer is Yes - You MUST let it go.  There's no chance in moving forward otherwise.

If You are TOO "hurt and confused" to let it go You cannot move forward, it is going to be harmful to You, to Him and most of all to Baby.  You MUST make this choice because You cannot have it both ways.  This I know is true.

Good Luck in Your choice