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Extremely depressed after breakup
Hey guys i wanted to ask a question and this is my first time on a website asking for help lol (im kinda desperate right now) anyway, my girlfriend has recently asked for a break from our relationship after dating for 2 and a half years. And i love this woman with all my heart but she wants to work on herself because she is very depressed and i have seen her cry manyyy times because life is so hard. The break started 3 days ago and she barely wants to talk to me, she stated that theres no other guy and that she loves me and values our " friendship" but have i been friend zoned? Ive been good to her so its killing me that she can just forget about me that easily and block me out her mind....i cant sleep and now i barely eat. Please help me
Hi also. This maybe over simplifying things, but this is just a life experience that has happened to everyone and with some more than once. Its also possible that you will or maybe have, done this to someone yourself.
When this happened to me i felt the same as you as was a deep deep hurt. Eventually i snapped out of it by changing my perspective on her. Instead of crying and wanting her back, i got mad at her for wasting years of my life and using me. This is what she did to you. She used you for what ever reason.
She knew this all along. I would suggest you do the same and dont piety yourself but get mad at her for doing this to you. Who does she think she is causing great hurt on another human being!
If the pain is more than you can bear, seek some counciling to get the anger out so you can put this behind you.
When this happened to me i felt the same as you as was a deep deep hurt. Eventually i snapped out of it by changing my perspective on her. Instead of crying and wanting her back, i got mad at her for wasting years of my life and using me. This is what she did to you. She used you for what ever reason.
She knew this all along. I would suggest you do the same and dont piety yourself but get mad at her for doing this to you. Who does she think she is causing great hurt on another human being!
If the pain is more than you can bear, seek some counciling to get the anger out so you can put this behind you.
You will live through this............trust me. You may not see this now because you are young. You might even chuckle about it later on in life and see how silly it was.
If she was acting this way with other guys perhaps that is the reason why she was DITCHED. Think about it. If I was a guy, I would ditch her.
She really, really, needs to lay off guys and get her stuff together. She is completely all over the board and you never know what she is going to say or do. A therapist is the ONLY person who can help her out.
You have been there and supported her enough. Now it is time to let all this wind down.
"she said she just couldnt stop thinking about me and she drank her sorrows away and tried to distract herself, is this valid for forgiveness? Lol".....................Sure, you can always forgive her, but that doesn't mean you should keep putting up with this nonsense. Sounds like she is lying in my opinion.
You can do better and deserve better, however, you must believe that. This girl is flip-floppy, says and does whatever WITHOUT thought and expects to keep a guy around to put up with this? She's crazy.
All the best.
If she was acting this way with other guys perhaps that is the reason why she was DITCHED. Think about it. If I was a guy, I would ditch her.
She really, really, needs to lay off guys and get her stuff together. She is completely all over the board and you never know what she is going to say or do. A therapist is the ONLY person who can help her out.
You have been there and supported her enough. Now it is time to let all this wind down.
"she said she just couldnt stop thinking about me and she drank her sorrows away and tried to distract herself, is this valid for forgiveness? Lol".....................Sure, you can always forgive her, but that doesn't mean you should keep putting up with this nonsense. Sounds like she is lying in my opinion.
You can do better and deserve better, however, you must believe that. This girl is flip-floppy, says and does whatever WITHOUT thought and expects to keep a guy around to put up with this? She's crazy.
All the best.
Oh and i told her how i felt about what she did on the trip (to clear things up it was a school trip for an event) and she told me she wasnt trying to get a new guy..she said she just couldnt stop thinking about me and she drank her sorrows away and tried to distract herself, is this valid for forgiveness? Lol
Things may have not gone the way i wanted but ican live :) and this means alot more to me since its coming from a females point of view, im glad to see how the opposite sex feels about this
Thanks for your support guys, specially you londres70 i will be letting her go and do what she has to PS i did see her today and she thanked me for being by her side and not ditch her like other guys. But i will take youre advise and let her go...see what the future has in store for us lol and i feel much better about this ever since i posted this, thank you everyone
I agree with Lourdes . Make the break. If she cared about you as much as you care for her she wouldn't be behaving like that with other guys. Sounds like shes stringing you along.
You don't want her feeling alone when she needs you? Are you kidding? This is the SAME girl who just dumped you........correct? Oh my.....I am thinking therapy would benefit the both of you.
Well, it's great you have morals and such, but this relationship sounds a bit co-dependent in my opinion. You know it is unhealthy to see her, but yet you are going to do it anyways. That's your choice.
I understand you love her, but can and is she really there for you? She went on a trip, had fun with other guys and basically flung it in your face. Is that her "loving" you? Yet you continue to feel the "need" to be there for someone who treats you like that? What happened to her needing a break and being depressed?
Maybe you both need help? The whole situation reaks of co-dependency.
I understand you love her, but can and is she really there for you? She went on a trip, had fun with other guys and basically flung it in your face. Is that her "loving" you? Yet you continue to feel the "need" to be there for someone who treats you like that? What happened to her needing a break and being depressed?
Maybe you both need help? The whole situation reaks of co-dependency.
And yes i hang with family and friends, go to gym etc but im attentive because i have morals and i believe that if youre truly love some you will do whatever it takes to make them happy
I hurts not seeing her :/ i know its wrong or unhealthy for me to see her...but i care ALOT about her still :( and idk if some people are wondering this but im not in this for looks lol idc about how a person looks but before things were bad i met a nice girl that stole my heart and i instantly fell in love, i just dont want her feeling alone when she needs me, ive always been there for her you know? And during the relationship i was happy with her and in love like never before..she wants to meet in an hour
Are you doing anything else in your life besides worrying about this girl? Do you have other friends and activities? You sound a bit too attentive.
Good that therapy is on board, so she will be ok even if you aren't around.
I would recommend you make no contact with her whatsoever and let this cool off.
You cannot be her savior.
I would recommend you make no contact with her whatsoever and let this cool off.
You cannot be her savior.
Oh, for heaven's sake DON'T marry this one.
I didn't ask how she was in the bf/gf relationship.........I asked how you were.
She is confused and doesn't know what she wants. I would encourage her to talk with a therapist and I wouldn't be meeting with her. Besides, what is she going to tell you when you meet her? How much she is thinking about other guys or something hurtful?
Leave her alone and let all of this cool down. She needs to sort herself out.
I didn't ask how she was in the bf/gf relationship.........I asked how you were.
She is confused and doesn't know what she wants. I would encourage her to talk with a therapist and I wouldn't be meeting with her. Besides, what is she going to tell you when you meet her? How much she is thinking about other guys or something hurtful?
Leave her alone and let all of this cool down. She needs to sort herself out.
No i didnt, i wouldnt go out with my friends just her, i would give her my full attention and i would randomly bring her arrangements of fruits dipped in chocolate when shes was sad or flowers during long days (no lie)
If she is that fragile and depressed she should be seeking therapy. Don't become co-dependent which sounds like what you're doing.
She was pretty loyal, the thing is shes the type of person that speaks w.o thinking...and our relationship was pretty good but still with problems like she would be depressed and cry and stressed with school. While we were going out she told me that she didnt know if she was with me because i was a good guy/meant to be or did all the guys before me just suck. I told her thats how it feels when you find the right person lol u go through crappy people and you find the right one PS few weeks back she wanted us married (i was planning to pop the question around christmas time)
To add: I wouldn't meet her or contact her at all. She wanted a break.........give it to her.
She is playing some kind of game with you.
Did you ever do anything to her that would cause her to act this way?
She is playing some kind of game with you.
Did you ever do anything to her that would cause her to act this way?
Went on a trip? Didn't you two just break up? I thought this girl was depressed and now she is going on trips dancing and having fun with other guys?
Well, if she is telling you all this nonsense to your face she definitely doesn't care about your feelings best friend or not. People don't hurt people they care about deliberately.
If I were you I would leave her alone. She sounds troubled and totally confused.
How was your bf/gf relationship? Was it the same nonsense then?
Well, if she is telling you all this nonsense to your face she definitely doesn't care about your feelings best friend or not. People don't hurt people they care about deliberately.
If I were you I would leave her alone. She sounds troubled and totally confused.
How was your bf/gf relationship? Was it the same nonsense then?
She is very complicated lol but i can deal with that, and she is depressed with life in general and felt like she needs to pull herself together and i know she is think if other guys find her attractive because she went on a trip (post breakup) and was dancing with another guy and he left her and she was like "i think guys get creeped out by me am i ugly" and also she was like " i tell you everything nd you kno how i am after a breakup and i wont be a nun, ill kiss alot of guys but no sex" to my face! After i was suffering from the breakup and idk what she wants to talk about yet, ill be visiting her later tonight ps im considered best friend so i think she doesnt want to lose me because of that lol i think thats pretty selfish if i were right
How do you know she is thinking about if other guys find her attractive?
She needs to make her mind up. If she needs the break then you both shouldn't be discussing anything. Does she want to rekindle the relationship now?
You should of had this talk about how you hurt each other BEFORE the breakup.
What exactly is or was she depressed over? The relationship or life in general?
She needs to make her mind up. If she needs the break then you both shouldn't be discussing anything. Does she want to rekindle the relationship now?
You should of had this talk about how you hurt each other BEFORE the breakup.
What exactly is or was she depressed over? The relationship or life in general?
Was this wrong?? Should i be by her side when she needs me? I dont want to make her more depressed since im now the "best friend" i love her and dont want to hurt her, she still means everything to me
I told her i didnt want to see her after thanksgiving today, it hurts me but she is already thinking about if other guys find her attractive :/ i cried because its only been 4 days and she can just forget about me that easily ...after i told her i didnt want to see her she asked that we talk about how we hurt each other good/bad things, what should i do?? I breath heavily and panic when i picture her with someone else
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