Family crisis

[Sumz]

Over the weekend my 23 year old sister and friend came over for drinks. We were all very drunk when my husband walked into the bathroom and the friend threw our plant all over the place! She was I guess you could say trying to clean it up using paper towels and flush them down the toilet. Needless to say she clogged it! so when I walked in I was helping also along with my sister. My husband and my sisters friend were yelling at eachother. So when things hot out of hand I shut the door and locked him out. I told him to go away but he was furious at the friend for making such a mess and she was lipping back. He repeatedly told her to get out.  Anyways long story short my sister ended up sneaking out of the house when I thought she was upstairs sleeping. I called my parents over because the situation was getting out of hand. I've never seen my husband so angry.  We couldn't find my sister so I thought she went to my parents house. The next morning I get a phone call from my dad telling me that my sister got a DUI. She got her license taken away for 90 days and has to go to court. May face criminal charges. So now my dad blames my husband for her DUI and says it's his fault cause he got so angry. We did not tell her to leave and we didn't even know she had snuck out. Leaving her friend behind. I'm stuck in the middle. My dad says that my sister is paying the price and so should my husband. What do I do? It's ripping our family apart. My sister is an adult and made the wrong choice. Fortunately she didn't hurt herself or in that matter any one else.

[specialmom]

Yes, things will calm down.  Your job is to remind your husband of this incident when he looks like he is wanting to drink again.  He is someone now that can directly affect you and if he gets out of control with anger either drinking or otherwise, you need to take that seriously.  

But this will blow over and hopefully all will learn a lesson from it.  By that, I don't mean your parents as they sound like the will always handle things the same old way.  

Good luck.

[Sumz]

Yes, they've always treated her this way. But that doesn't bother me cause Im quite happy of where I'm at today. as for drinking of course you regret things after they've gone badly. It goes for any situation. Things were great till one thing set my husband off. He realizes that now, and says he's not going to drink, but only time will tell. I think my sister left because I'd called my parents over and she didn't want them to see her that way. No one will ever know. She can't remember a single thing. A week has passed and things are finally calming down. I guess it will just take time.

[specialmom]

Oh boy.  This is a good example of why people need to not get drunk.  Your sister AND your husband.  Sounds like everyone behaved badly.  I think if a drunk destroys your house after you sat drinking with them . . .  well, isn't that the risk you take?  I'm guessing you already see that too and know your husband was a bit kooky that night.  Do you think your husband's explosion of anger that night frightened your sister?  Was she scared of him?  

But ultimately, anytime someone that is drunk gets behind the wheel---------  THEY make the choice to do it and must pay their own consequences.  Your sister drove drunk and got caught.  That is the risk you take when you choose to drive drunk no matter why you did it.  

But really, I'd recommend that all of you resist the urge to drink.  Alcohol certainly messed up things here . . .  not worth it, is it?  

I think your husband can apologize if he was out of line without taking blame for the dui.  Your parents blame him because that is easier to do than be mad at their own daughter.  But sometimes these bad situations are actually wake up calls and lead to better choices next time.  

good luck

[RockRose]

Have your parents always treated your sister like a blameless child?