I agree with what the others have said, and I think you're really confusing "cause" and "affect" here, Nikki.
You seem to think a bad relationship caused you to now have a rocky/trustless relationship with this second guy.
I'd say you have a basic flawed idea in what kind of guy you want to attract, and now you've attracted two losers in a row because that's what you set out to do in the first place.
Two points define a line, as they say, and the line you've defined is easy to see - you're purposely choosing controlling womanizers.
The way you "fix a mess like this" is figure out why you are purposely seeking this guys out.
Who told you to expect this in men? (That's a real question)
I don't think that a relationship begun out of need ever really has a fair chance. Please get your act together alone, not looking for some guy to save you, just for yourself and do it on your own. Until you can stand on your own two feet, you will not be able to succeed in a relationship.
He is trying to control you and if you allow this your life will end up doing things for him and abandoning the things you want just to keep him. Dont end a being a yes person but speak your mind. You have to take control of the direction this is going or your life will be serving his needs. It happens all the time and the end result is never good. He will see you a weak and play on those weakness to manipulate you.
Hi there and welcome. Sorry for your past hurt first of all.
Well, your relationship with him started out of cheating. Whether it was a good relationship or a horrible one, he was with another women when you got together. And you were with another man. This sends the immediate message that if times are rough, one or both of you WILL cheat. It is hard to ever believe someone won't cheat when a relationship starts that way. Because deep down on a bottom level, you both know what you are capable of.
The right thing would have been to leave on your own from an abusive relationship. To do some hard work of discovering how you got to that place. The first hit or push, most people would be long gone. You didn't leave. That is worrisome and if you've never addressed this, you should. Therapists are trained to look at these hard issues. He also did the push you pull you thing and again, you never would leave. The relationship was dysfunctional and you chose to stay. And you say your now boyfriend did the same thing.
So basically, neither one of you did any work to get healthy in your thinking. And now you have him trying to control you in an unhealthy way and you wondering if he cheated on you during that incident (whatever it was).
This is hard. I don't know what to tell you. I would highly recommend that you begin seeing a therapist. I think you have some work to do. If this relationship will last, you both need to address what is wrong about it openly. I'd see a therapist alone and eventually one as a couple. It really is the only I hope I believe. good luck