Financial love

[Ana115]

I am in a long distance relationship for almost two years. My problem is this. I am doing financially well but my other 1/2 is not financially healthy, I started sending him money to help him out with what ever extra cost he needs help with. I am the one who started this he did not ask but I decided to. He is out of a job at the moment, he told me he have been looking but found nothing, every time I called him he wants money, in one month I would send him money by the second week in that month he would be hinting to me that he needs more money. Even before he was out of a job, he was always asking for money from me. And again I am the one who started sending him money only to help him out, but now, it's getting old, since he is depending on me financially to send him money. I have my studies and I work full time. I know I was dumb to initiate it but now, I am regretting it , whether I want to be with this man. Am I being self fish, I have always believed if someone needed something and you have it, it is okay to give. He knows I would never say no to him when it comes to money. My question is should I stop sending money or keep helping him till he gets back on his feet, it has been almost 10 months. I have ask him to explore other countries close by to get work.

[Ana115]

I guess I should of ask you this one. I did not want to share my personal issue with you. You are right it is going to be hard not helping him out, I have been helping out since we started getting to know each other, and sometimes when I call or he calls asking I get upset and stress. I told how stress I am but it does not seen to make any difference. You why too I want to help, tell me if this is ridiculous when I went to visit him again, he took care of me, I was welcome at his place he makes dinner, and he spend on me not all the time, I buy stuff for us to. I think of all the kind things he have done for me, and just know I should be kind in return. It have been almost two years since I have been taking care of him financially. I just need a break, it is and have been getting to me. Thx M, You're a wonderful friend. And thanks for finding my post.  

[Ana115]

You are right I don't need a charity case. I don't like to lie, it's not one of my biggest strong, he would ask if I am working I would say yes, and we all know what the next question will be. I will try your method and see.

[Ana115]

It's amazing how love works. There are those that like to help and others who just take advantage of anther's heart.  

[RainLover71]

I know you as a friend here on medhelp and you have helped me so it,s my turn now.Your so much better than that and i know you have a heart of gold and a beautiful,kind nature and i have felt that in our conversations but this guy is taking advantage and it,s crystall clear.He has to learn to stand on his own two feet and he should be taking care of his own financial situation.Don,t send him money anymore and make him realize that he needs to be a man and respect you.If you love him it,s going to be hard i know but if you don,t stop it will never end and your to nice for that.Take care SA.

[brice1967]

No, you are not being selfish.  What started out as help is now almost and expectation on his behalf..... it should stop.  I'd tell this guy that you are financially tapped and cannot afford to send him money.  His financial well being is NOT your responsibility and I'm guessing you don't need a charity case like this.

If money or the lack there of ends the relationship, good.  It works best to find that out now, rather than later.