PLEASE HELP ME

[JD1885]

Hello,
Thanks in advance

I have been married for 5 years and have two kids ( 2 & 4).  My wife always wanted to stay home with our kids so that's what she does.  The problem is she has been very unhappy for like 2 years now.  She stays depressed and always mad.  She has the worst attitude of anyone I know.  In her eyes, everything just s ucks.  Her life is miserable.  She is very faithful but she just hates her life.  She doesn't want to get a job.  She doesn't want to stay home.  She says we never spend time together, but when I'm not working, I'm at home.  I am a very happy person and will do anything she wants to do.  She says we never spend time together, but we do!  We can spend all day watching movies or at the park or bowling or shopping and it's always like "well, today was okay. now back to my miserable life"  What do I do?  I love her and we have two kids that love her too.  She has taken anti-depressants off and on for years with no real results.  She says she is always stressed and worried about everything and it makes her act mean and then her acting mean makes her feel bad and guilty which in turn stresses her out even more.  What do I do??  I'm just completely fed up with it.  I've always been the glass half full guy and I thought she was too.  Any advice from anybody??  Anything will help.  Thanks! .

[specialmom]

Hi JD.  I want to direct you to another post you wrote on a forum that med help transferred here to the Relationships forum.  I posted to your situation there as did two other members.  Just so you can have more to read and think about.  

Scroll down or look in your post history on your profile page.  Good luck

[JD1885]

Thank you so much.  That is kind of what I was thinking, it's just hard to get her out to do anything.  Thank you.

[Sasha90]

If you have the financial means I would see if she could get some professional counseling. It is clearly depression. Maybe she feels sad from being home all the time. I had a cousin who was a stay at home mom and after a few years she began to feel disconnected from the outside world. It was just her and her young children all the time. Maybe your wife could get a part time job to get her around other people and get her out of the house. Maybe her and the kids could go to "mommy and me" classes so she can spend time with other moms and the kids can play. Maybe have a day or night that she can go out and spend time with girlfriends or her family. You said she wants to stay at home and that is understandable. She wants to see her children grow up and she wants to be a great mom to them and spend time with them but she also needs to take time for herself and make herself happy doing adult things with you, friends or family.

The cycle she is in is normal. She feels guilty about being angry, her anger comes to depression and anxiety..its a cycle. spending time on herself and your marriage and maybe seeing a counselor could definitely help.

All the best!!