Nasotrang, of course this is cheating and I would recommend your husband figure out why he did this because it is definitely a red flag in a marriage or a relationship when someone feels the need to go outside the marriage or relationship for sex. Why is he compelled to go to a sex worker for a massages and "happy endings" or bjs instead of coming home to his wife and de-stressing?
"He went back home and acted like nothing happened until I pushed him into telling me what happened and he said it didn't count as cheating because he didn't ask for it and he wasn't really doing anything, it was the girl who was doing that to him.".........This is very concerning. He wasn't going to even tell you because he doesn't consider it "cheating" and plus it was the sex worker's fault because he didn't ask for it? Oh my........dear, I hate to say this, but it sounds like your husband doesn't have any issues with what he has done and he really doesn't sound remorseful. I can almost guarantee he will continue this behind your back. Some people actually do believe oral sex and/or hand jobs aren't sex so it isn't cheating which is a crock to me.
Unless you are in a open marriage/open relationship and you both are ok with having other sex partners then this is CHEATING.
I would recommend you not turn a blind eye to this and think this will go away if you forgive him and stay in the marriage. If he is getting bjs now then what will he get next? I am sure he will just blame the sex worker for what happened. It doesn't matter if you are giving him sex with whistles and bells everyday; your husband has an issue with being faithful and honest.
As long as he sees NO problem with this he will continue and the problem will remain. What's worse is that he put 100% blame on the sex worker and none on himself which goes to show you he is trying to justify what he is doing or what he has done.
The problem is my husband got a ******** at the massage place. We were fine, sex life is definitely good. We have sex basically every freaking day and I always do whatever the heck he wants me to do. But crap happens just suddenly and easily like that.
Yes, Your Husband cheated.
A man doesn't cheat BECAUSE of what is - or is not - going on at home.
Whether or not a man cheats has to do with His Character, Integrity, Values, etc.
Not getting a "hand job" at home does NOT promote one to cheat. A Man with Morals and Integrity will not cheat EVEN IF He's never had a hand job in His life - for He knows He can provide that for HimSelf - and would gladly do so - after all, a hand job is about 'self ' EVEN IF someone else is performing it.
It's worse than a hand job. She actually blew him
Just had a big fight with my husband over this. We're currently living in Vietnam where these kinds of places are literally everywhere.
My husband is usually stressed and usually asks me for a massage and I normally give him one, but I do admit sometimes I'm kind of lazy.
He has gone to these places many times and always had a happy ending before he met me. I didn't care much cause apparently I didn't know him.
He went there twice after we started dating. The first time was fine, he actually said no to the massage girl but the second time he got a *******!
He went back home and acted like nothing happened until I pushed him into telling me what happened and he said it didn't count as cheating because he didn't ask for it and he wasn't really doing anything, it was the girl who was doing that to him.
I seriously don't understand this thing. Did it really count as cheating or not?
In response to the OP's question........
As far as I am concerned this is cheating. And if any man thinks this is the solution to whatever is "lacking" at home then I would say he should learn a thing or two about problem-solving. In my opinion, a man who does this sounds like a man who wants to have his cake and eat it too. I just think some men want "happy endings" from different women......wherever they can get one and use ANY excuse to justify what they do or did.
Hey, if you're single you can get all the "happy endings" you want......morning, noon and night, HOWEVER, when you are exclusive with someone or married then going elsewhere for this is definitely a NO NO and it surely isn't any good solution to problems at home.
I am glad my man uses his BRAIN instead of his MANHOOD when solving problems......I am a lucky girl. He isn't looking for any "happy endings" from a sex worker.