Should I give him a chance?

[fltricia]

Should I give him a chance?
I started dating a 32 year old man about a month ago. We have a really good time together, are physically attracted to each other, and have a lot of chemistry. He is affectionate, sexy, smart, and funny. I'm a professional business woman who has a formal education. He is a high school drop out who is just now going back to college to study music. He was laid off from his job last year and has decided to go back to school after I made the suggestion to him. I really care about him, but our different financial situations is starting to irk me. I also am concerned about his ability to provide in the future since he wants to pursue music. I have a background in music so I have a great appreciation for his talent and do see a lot of ability, but I am having a lot of internal conflict over the fact that we are very different professionally. Any suggestions???
2 minutes ago - 4 days left to answer.

[thehitman357]

Behind every great man, there is a great woman most of the times.  I understand your concern. However, you can lose your job.  Than what?  You will be in the same boat he is in minus your education.  It is hard to find a nice guy.  I say, take it slow and see how he acts towards you and his education/work. Good luck.

[specialmom]

To me, I look at relationships in two ways.  The first is the fun part--------- the romance side.  This is how we click with someone, our sexual chemistry, our woo woo feelings or that person.  But I also put equal value on the "business" side of the relationship when we are talking about taking it long term.  This is how we see finances, if our dreams and aspirations match up, what we have in common, faith, ability, common interests, etc.  

It is usually the business side that ends a relationship.  You have many things that are out of sync with your boyfriend.  I'm not a risk taker when it comes to long term romance.  I try to match up as best as possible.  If you think you could be happy with someone that may not be financially stable and you may have to be the provider for-----------  well, you have to think about that.  Also, those in the music business often travel a lot (had a muscician boyfriend-----------  it was rough.  He was gone a LOT and his schedule was so different from mine, also a professional----  that we were passing ships in the night).  And how do you see things if you want children?  While you never know what will happen or how he'll change down the road------------ you have to think of how he is now as your source of information.  

To me, a highschool drop out would be fine if they had lots of ambition and found their way in life.  You had to suggest that he go to school to follow a career path. So, I'd question is own inner drive to suceed.  He may have it and just didn't know what to do------- but it is something for you to think about.  

So, I guess that you are quite wise to look at these red flags and what they could mean in the future.  Long term relationships are hard work and it is smart to think of these things as we go along.  I wish you luck as you figure this out.  Peace

[AHP84]

Well, the decision is ultimately yours on whether or not you want to give him a chance, but...since you are asking for the advice and opinions of others...I'd have to say that if I were you, I'd let this guy go. He has very little to offer right now other than companionship, and in the future, the odds are against him to have a well-paying career in music.
So if what you are seeking in a relationship with a man is a future that can provide financial stability and security other than your paycheck, you prefer someone with a common interest in making a career in a professional type of business industry, and someone with an education that is nearly equal to or better than your own, then you need to reconsider this relationship, because you can't change a person into who you want them to be...and this may result in that unintentionally in due time.